Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra

Two important things before we get started:

  1. Register for Explore More Summit, my free online conference! It starts February 25th, 2019 and the theme this year is PLEASURE. You do NOT want to miss it. Check it out here at exploremoresummit.com.
  2. Support Shine Louise Houston's crowdfunding campaign for her new erotic film, Chemistry Eases the Pain. Details are here.

On to your emails!

First up, CuriousMom was raised with a lot of sexual shame and body shame. As a mom of two daughters, she is doing her best to raise them in a sex positive way (and it sounds like she's doing a GREAT job), but she doesn't know what she doesn't know. Where can she find resources and support on raising kids in a sex positive home?

I cannot recommend my chat with Melissa Carnagey from Sex Positive Families highly enough. It's at this year's Explore More Summit on the VERY FIRST DAY, so get on that. Also, Sex Positive Families is a MUST for all folks with kids in their lives. Check out their recommending reading list, too. It's for kids and adults.

Also check out Nadine Thornhill, Cory Silverberg's books "What Makes a Baby?" and "Sex is a Funny Word", and once your kids are teens, they MUST know about Scarleteen.

Next up, E wrote in with a sweet note about the ways the show has changed. I am so grateful for all of you!!!

Then, Unimportant wrote in because they feel neglected by my lack of an email response. Let's talk about the realities of what happens on my end and why every single email is so treasured even if you don't hear back from me. Let's do this imperfectly!

Finally, Adam wrote in. His wife has a very limiting disability and it's led to a sexless marriage. He's been hiring escorts to help with his sexual needs because he loves his wive and their children, and just isn't sure what to do. 

And...THE AMAZING Shine Louise Houston joins us to talk about her new film, Chemistry Eases the Pain. Help support the film, check out the awesome perks, and spread the word. We need more awesome queer smut!

Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast and support the show at $3 or more for exclusive access to this and every week's bonus content. This week? Supporters are getting something NO ONE ELSE IS GETTING! An exclusive extended clip from my chat with Melissa Carnagey of Sex Positive Families! 

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram.

About Host Dawn Serra:

What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives.

In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence.

It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_251.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:40pm EST

Before we get started there's a huge thing you should know about:

  1. Explore More Summit 2019 is HAPPENING! The 4th annual free online conference is all about pleasure this year. You do not want to miss these conversations. They are incredible. Check out the line-up and register FOR FREE at exploremoresummit.com.

Embodiment as our path to pleasure

What are the ways we can access pleasure? What if pleasure isn't accessible to us? And how does trauma impact the body?

Sage Hayes is here to tell us all about embodiment, trauma, healing, safety, and the phenomenal pleasure available to us when we learn how to listen more deeply.

It's a beautiful, deep exploration of what it means to be in a body in a world that isn't very kind to bodies. We also talk about the wisdom of our coping mechanisms, why leaving the body is wise, and ways we create feelings of danger or erode safety in our relationships through unspoken expectations and demands.

Rich stuff ahead!

Want to hear my bonus chat with Sage all about co-regulation and helping each other when we are anxious, triggered, or in a tough spot? Pop over to Patreon! Folks who support the show at $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly content that you can't find anywhere else. Hear it and all the other bonuses at patreon.com/sgrpodcast 

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

About Sage Hayes:

Sage Hayes is interested in creating collective conditions for embodied healing and liberation. In their work, Sage weaves together principles and practices rooted in somatic experiencing, biodynamic craniosacral, systemic constellations, quantum physics and love. Offering one-on-one support and workshops, Sage is curious about the evolutionary possibilities at the intersection of emergent life and a multi-layered consciousness focused on justice and liberation.  Pronouns: she/he/they - whatever your experience is of Sage in the moment.

Stay in touch at embodiedliberation.com.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_250.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 12:45am EST

ONE BIG THING before we get started:

  1. Register for Explore More Summit! It starts February 25th, 2019 and the theme this year is PLEASURE. It's free and online, and you do NOT want to miss it. Check it out here at exploremoresummit.com.

On to your emails!

First up, where can people go for alternatives to Tumblr now that it's banned porn? I found two articles with many of the same recommendations. Check out the Refinery29 piece and the Cosmo piece (this one is by Elle Chase, known as Lady Cheeky). As always, pay for your porn!

Francis wrote in because they are struggling with being on top during sex. Is there something wrong? Why doesn't it feel good? They feel like everything is wrong, unsexy, and unfeminine and they are worried their ex broke up with them over not being able to do this position.

The short of it is that not every position is for every body. We are all built differently and what we see in movies and in porn is meant to sell pleasure, not be a marker for "normal" or "real" sex. So instead, what would be pleasurable? What would feel yummy? Move in the direction of things that feel good and leave the rest. That's why sex can be so fun - it's an opportunity to be endlessly creative in all the ways our bodies are and possibly fit with other bodies.

EEP! is struggling because their spouse is having some big feels and not managing them in a very skilled way. How can someone new to expressing emotions find a way to wield them with more care and how can EEP! care for their own needs through it all?

First up, I highly recommend pre-ordering the new book "Burnout" by Emily & Amelia Nagoski which is all about stress, overwhelm, and ways we can process our stress feelings in better ways.

I also recommend Tea & Empathy cards (which are in re-print status right now, so stay tuned by following Kate Kenfield). A free alternative is the feelings wheel.

Aussie gal wants to know if having more disabled folks in porn will make them MORE likely to be abused since they're so vulnerable. Let's talk about invisibilizing and erasing folks in an attempt to "protect" them. NO NO NO.

Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast and support the show at $3 or more for exclusive access to this and every week's bonus content.

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram.

About Host Dawn Serra:

What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives.

In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence.

It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_249.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:42pm EST

Before we get started there are three HUGE things:

  1. This episode is generously brought to you by LOLA. Listeners get 40% off their subscription at mylola.com using discount code SGR. Have organic cotton pads, tampons, wipes, and even condoms delivered discretely to your door at exactly the interval you need for your body. When you use the discount code it helps the show so so much.
  2. We hit 5 MILLION downloads and to celebrate, I made a little video plus a huge giveaway. Three lucky folks will be randomly selected to win three different prizes. Watch the video and put your name in the hat to win at sexgetsreal.com/five.
  3. Explore More Summit 2019 is HAPPENING! The 4th annual free online conference is all about pleasure this year. You do not want to miss these conversations. They are incredible. Check out the line-up and register FOR FREE at exploremoresummit.com.

How have you been domesticated?

 

One of my favorite things to do is to have deep, wandering conversations with people I love and admire. It feels intimate, expansive, playful, and important. The kinds of conversations that I think about for days or weeks, mulling over new perspectives and confronting new edges.

Leonore Tjia is one of those magical people that I LOVE diving deep with. I first met Leonore years ago when she was working with Amy Jo Goddard and I attended a few webinars. Leonore's fierce softness made an immediate impression.

Over the years, Leonore's practice has expanded and shifting into this incredible practice around wildness, movement, sexuality, and the erotic. 

So this week's episode is like a little peek behind the curtain. What happens when two folks who think about, write about, and dig deep into the caverns of sexuality and the erotic get together and dance? This is that conversation.

We talk about wildness, the erotic as an expansive resource we are in relationship with rather than a thing we own, our inner critic, and why so often when we crave newness in relationship it's not actually new people we're wanting but newness in ourselves.

This episode is literally an hour of brain sex. Yum.

Plus, Patreon supporters, if you support the show at $3 per month and above you get exclusive weekly content that you can't find anywhere else. This week, Leonore and I talk all about the ways BDSM can help us heal past traumas. Hear it all at patreon.com/sgrpodcast

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

About Leonore Tjia:

Leonore is a feminist sexuality educator who helps people create more presence, play, pleasure and power in the bedroom and beyond. As a trained practitioner of Internal Family Systems therapy, she assists people in recovering the parts of their sexual selves that have been exiled and repressed. Her workshops and teaching bring an ecological focus to sexual empowerment, helping people to reconnect to erotic vitality and step into sexual wildness.
 
Stay in touch with Leonore at luminoussex.com and on Instagram.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_248.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EST

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