Sex Gets Real: Talking Sex, Relationships, and Kink with Dawn Serra

Welcome to this week's episode of listener questions! And Patreon supporters - this week's bonus is me reading you a little queer erotica. Go listen now!

First up, Love All of Him sent an update. Find out what happened after they followed my advice and what lead to them
having PIV sex for the first time.

Leo from Scotland wrote in. He's had digestive issues for a few years and now his butthole is kind of saggy. He feels ashamed and doesn't know what to say to potential partners. Internalized ableism sucks. The good news is most people have no idea what buttholes look like, so let's about genital diversity and sharing vulnerable stuff about our bodies.

Soldier0510 is a service member stationed in South Korea with a wife back home in the US. She asks about keeping the heat burning while long distance, especially since they are both new and curious and BDSM dynamics. In addition to loads of recommendations about long distance kink and power dynamics, I also suggest a few books including "The Ultimate Guide to Sexual Fantasies", "The Ultimate Guide to Kink", "Playing Well with Others", and "Radical Ecstasy."

Christian, a 32 year old gay man who comes from an anti-sex religious background wrote in. After years of hiding his sexuality and using porn as a coping mechanism, he now has a boyfriend but doesn’t know how to enjoy sex with another person. He is having trouble staying hard and wonders if his porn use destroyed his sexuality. 

I have a lot of thoughts, including the importance of spending time worshipping your partner without needing to have an
erection, or without needing to focus on orgasm, or sex as the goal. Learn what happens when you slow down.

Dega Glitter is a self-identified 34 straight female virgin who is terrified about sex but avidly reads erotica. She writes in about a complex, secret, problematic relationship with an older man she had in her early twenties and the psychological ripples of that liaison. This is an emotional one and I do my best to tread tenderly. Therapy and professional support are often our best resources when we're struggling.

TS writes in to asks about Dawn’s opinion on the Five Love Languages book. Do you prefer receiving gifts, quality time, or acts of service? Find out what Dawn’s favorite love languages are and which ones she’d rather not receive anymore.

Don't forget to join me every Wednesday at 8pm EST/5pm PST on o.school for my free livestream, Pop Culture Undressed. I have so much fun talking all about the messages we learn about love, sex, and romance we learn from pop culture.

I am now pre-enrolling three new on-demand workshops that you can take from the privacy of your own home, entirely online. They are affordable, fun, and will give you an opportunity to learn new things and engage with new ideas, either on your own or with a new partner. Head to dawnserra.com/courses to see all of the courses that are available.

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

About Dawn Serra

I am the creator and host of the laughter-filled, no-holds-barred weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real. I lecture at colleges and universities on sex and relationships, too.

When I’m not speaking and teaching, I also work one-on-one with clients who need to get unstuck around their pleasure and desire.

But it’s not all work! In my downtime, I can often be found watching an episode of Masterchef Australia, cooking up something delicious, or adventuring with my sexy AF husband.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_198.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

Talking to other sex educators, researchers, and experts is one of my favorite things in life, especially when the conversations are rich, personal, nuanced, and challenging.

I met Cavanaugh Quick through O.School (where we both live stream sex ed for free), and the first time I saw Cavanaugh talk about feminist porn, I knew I wanted to have them on the show.

This episode is incredibly beautiful and real. From the reality of being awkward to practicing being aroused in public, from consent and non-verbal body cues to kink and getting your first vibrator, Cavanaugh offers a warm, kind, thoughtful perspective that feeds my soul.

You'll also want to check out our bonus chat on Patreon all about using techniques Cav learned for managing chronic pain to induce pain during sadistic kink play. SO FUN. Patreon supporters at the $3 level and above get access, so head over and listen. http://patreon.com/sexgetsreal

If you want to grab my latest workshop on ethical porn and how to use porn in your relationship or any of my other online courses and workshops, you can check that out at dawnserra.com/courses.

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

About Cavanaugh Quick:

Cavanaugh Coury Quick is a queer, trans, polyamorous, AfroLatinx adventurer with a passion for critical thought and personal autonomy. He uses strengths-based techniques and reflective practice to assist folk of all ages in exploring the intersections of their personal and professional identities, beliefs, and behaviors. He also plays the tuba.

Stay in touch with Cavanaugh on his website, and also on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter @Heyawkwardology.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_197.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

What do butt play, pegging the patriarchy, non-sexual Dominance & submission, strap-ons, and sex clubs have in common? Why, Luna Matatas, of course.

She is joining me this week to talk about all the delicious, yumminess that is kink and pleasure. As a fellow O.School Pleasure Professional (check out her Fuck Like a Goddess weekly live stream), she loves talking about sex club etiquette, anal and how to seduce the anus, pee play, and strap-ons.

We go all the places, plus we field a few listeners questions while we're at it.

Plus, we have a yummy bonus chat all about piss play exclusively for Patreon supporters. Not yet a supporter of the show? Head to Patreon.com/sexgetsreal to join the fun.

If you want to grab my latest workshop on ethical porn and how to use porn in your relationship or any of my other online courses and workshops, you can check that out at dawnserra.com/courses.

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

About Luna Matatas:

Luna Matatas is a sex and pleasure educator, crafting goddess and burlesque performer wannabe. She celebrates femininity, sex and body-positivity and all things that glitter. Luna packs over 10 years of experience internationally and locally in health and sexuality education. She takes a playful, realistic and open-minded approach to adult education. As a self-identified pleasure pusher, Luna facilitates accessible, judgement-free and safe spaces for people to be curious about their bodies, desires and relationships with themselves and others. Her workshops are refreshingly funny, warm and inviting. She loves hugs and is terrified of spiders and eggplant.

Stay in touch with Luna on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter @lunamatatas, and on Fetlife where she is somethingshiny.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_196.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 11:50am EDT

Mona Darling is here to talk all things kinky. As a former pro Dominatrix with over 20 years of experience dominating folks in the kinkiest of ways, she has some fantastic advice on how to get started in kink, the skills most people overlook that actually make kink juicy and meaningful, and how to find your inner Domme if you're just getting started.

She has a new kinky activity book that's soon to be published and helps me field listener questions on how to do punishments and rewards in a 24/7 dynamic and also for newbie Daddy/Little Girl dynamics.

It's a fun, kink-tastic chat.

Plus, we have a yummy bonus chat exclusively for Patreon supporters. Not yet a supporter of the show? Head to Patreon.com/sexgetsreal to join the fun.

Psst - looking for more details on working with me? Check out my coaching details now!

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

About Mona Darling:

Mona Darling is a former professional dominatrix who now teaches women and couples to discover, embrace and communicate their kinks.

You can stay in touch with her on Facebook and Twitter @MsMonaDarling. If you're female-identified, you can also join her private Facebook community.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_195.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

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