Sex Gets Real: Talking Sex, Relationships, and Kink with Dawn Serra

Guess what? Christopher Zeischegg is here this week. You may know him as porn performer Danny Wylde.

I had a chance to read his book, "The Wolves that Live in Skin and Space," and we talk all about his writing, the horror genre, leaving porn, bi-phobia within the porn world, why he's grateful to be in a monogamous relationship, how he got involved in creating a hot sauce called Wyldefire and a whole lot more.

Have you signed up for my Sex is a Social Skill group calls yet? It's a fun online group video chat every 2 weeks where we practice talking about sex, love, and life. Join in the fun and let's level up together. Learn more and enroll here. The next call is today, Sunday, September 3rd at 4:00pm Pacific.

Oh! Don't forget: Patreons who support at the $20 level and above get FREE access to the group calls. Of course, you can support the show at any level from $1 and up and it means so much to me. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sexgetsreal

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

Resources from this episode

Vice article on Chris and his hot sauce

Chris' creepy essay "Moral Imperative of Sexual Suffering"

About Christopher Zeischegg (Danny Wylde)

Christopher Zeischegg is a writer, musician, and filmmaker who spent eight years working in the adult industry as performer, Danny Wylde.

He's the author of two novels, Come to my Brother and The Wolves that Live in Skin and Spaceand has contributed to The Feminist Porn BookBest Sex WritingComing Out Like a Porn StarSplit Lips, and a variety of digital publications, such as Somesuch and Nerve.

His industrial metal band, Chiildren, released their second EP, The Circle Narrows, through Records Ad Nauseam in 2015.

He became the face of Wyldefire Hot Sauce in 2016.

Zeischegg lives in Los Angeles with his two cats, Victoria and Isis.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

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  2. Check us out on Stitcher
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  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
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Hearing from you is the best

Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_176.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EST

Guess what? LOLA is sponsoring this week's episode. You can get pads, tampons, and liners delivered to you, via their rad subscription service, at 60% off your first order when you subscribe. Just use promo code SGR when you visit mylola.com and get started.

My bi-weekly Sex is a Social Skill calls are a fun conversation where we practice all sorts of skills and geek out over sex and relationships. Check out the details and join in the fun.

This week it's you and me and all your emails. Let's dive in.

Ariyanna wrote in about how the show changed her life. Coleman, too! Yay for learning from this show.

Jess needs help finding BDSM porn that isn't extreme or just about the fucking. She wants sensual, intimate, connected porn that is also kinky. Where can she turn? I have a few suggestions, including EroticFilms.com. That's my affiliate link, and all the films on the website are curated by Erika Lust, so most of them are super sensual. Also, check out Jackie St. James, Crashpad, and Madison Young.

Johnny wrote in wanting to give his partner an orgasm.  He says all his previous partners orgasmed from penetration alone (which I highly doubt). But his current girlfriend has never had an orgasm and he NEEDS to give her one because he's horrified. Long time listeners know this is one of those questions that gets me up on my soapbox, so let's talk about why orgasm is NOT the goal of sex. Also, the fastest way to not orgasm is to expect an orgasm. I have some big thoughts for Johnny, all of which I'm sure he won't like.

Broad City Broad wants to know how she can find high quality lovers who actually want intimacy and connection, even if it's not a romantic relationship. How did I do it? A lot of it was luck, but being honest in your dating profile is a big part of finding good lovers. I share a few more thoughts.

Greeney is struggling because she recently broke off a 10 year monogamous relationship. She developed a relationship with a polyamorous man, who just recently moved away. She's rekindling her relationship with the monogamous ex and wants to try and make all of it work. My thoughts? Don't. Hiding & lying as a way to claim you're trying not to hurt someone aren't the way to not hurt someone.

Darkness Wonderer is worried that the sex with her partner is sporadic and that she gets turned on by women. Is she secretly a lesbian? Should their sex be more consistent? Why doesn't she want sex like she used to? There's a lot to unpack.

A high school sophomore wants to ask out bisexual junior. How can he find out whether she prefers women or men and how to ask her out. Ahhh high school.

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

About Dawn Serra

I am the creator and host of the laughter-filled, no-holds-barred weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real. I lecture at colleges and universities on sex and relationships, too.

When I’m not speaking and teaching, I also work one-on-one with clients who need to get unstuck around their pleasure and desire.

But it’s not all work! In my downtime, I can often be found watching an episode of Masterchef Australia, cooking up something delicious, or adventuring with my sexy AF husband.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_175.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EST

Wanna hang out and chat with me every other week? That's exactly what the Sex is a Social Skill group calls are for. It's like hanging at a coffee shop and having juicy conversations with me and other rad folks about all sorts of things in love, sex, pleasure, life... We'd love to see you there. Learn more and enroll here. The next call is today, Sunday, August 20th at 3:00pm Pacific/6:00pm Eastern.

I wanted to open this week's episode with a note about racism and white supremacy in light of the Charlottesville crap that's recently unfolded. I mentioned a bunch of places where you can donate money to help fight racism and support the folks on the ground doing the work. Find them here and here.

On to this week's episode... This week I'm joined by author Rachel Hills and model Jennie Runk to talk about Rachel's book "The Sex Myth" and the new play by the same name starring Jennie that will run for 5 days in New York this week.

We talk about all of the cultural myths that are keeping us trapped in pain and shame around sex. I particularly love Rachel's analysis on the myth that our worth as a human is determined by how other's see us sexually. This is a huge part of why we are all performing so hard to be seen as sexy and adventurous and wanted.

Jennie also talks about being a plus-sized model and exploring her identity as a lesbian in the stage production of The Sex Myth.

Oh! Don't forget: Patreons who support at the $20 level and above get FREE access to the group calls. Of course, you can support the show at any level from $1 and up and it means so much to me. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sexgetsreal

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

About Rachel Hills

Rachel Hills is an Australian journalist, TED speaker, and writer based in New York. Her critically-acclaimed book The Sex Myth is a call for a generation to question how systems of power pull at the strings of our sexual experience. A devised play based on the book will debut in New York City in August 2017.

Follow along with The Sex Myth's updates and play at thesexmyth.com, and over on Instagram and Twitter @thesexmyth.

You can also find Rachel on Instagram and sign-up for her Tiny Letter.

About Jennie Runk

Jennie Runk is an American model represented by JAG Models in New York. Born in Georgia and raised in Missouri, Jennie was discovered in a Petsmart while volunteering for a cat adoption service. A proud (and recently married!) member of the LGBTQ community, Jennie is passionate about inclusion and empowerment for all people. Considered plus-size by the fashion industry, Jennie starred in the H&M summer swimwear campaign, graced the April cover of Marie Claire France and stars in the Straight/Curve documentary where she shares her compelling perspective on the future of her industry.

You can stay in touch with Jennie on FacebookInstagram, and Twitter @jennierunk.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_174.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EST

Have you signed up for my Sex is a Social Skill group calls yet? It's a fun online group video chat every 2 weeks where we practice talking about sex, love, and life. Join in the fun and let's level up together. Learn more and enroll here. The next call is today, Sunday, August 6th at 4:00pm Pacific/7:00pm Eastern.

Riley J Dennis is someone I've been watching on YouTube for a little while and completely admiring. I adore her passion for anti-oppressive work, talking about feminism, politics, sex, trans issues, and a bunch more.

So, I decided to reach out and invite her on the show. When she said yes, I immediately went to work watching as many of her YouTube videos as I could find. Some of the most fun homework because I spent hours geeking out over the topics and rolling around in her facts and super logical approach to things that a lot of people really hate.

We not only talk about trans identity policing, trans porn, and being visible online, but we also explore what it's like to be so hated in the online space and why Riley's sex toy video for trans folks completely melted my heart.

It's super fun and I can't wait for you to hear it.

Oh! Don't forget: Patreons who support at the $20 level and above get FREE access to the group calls. Of course, you can support the show at any level from $1 and up and it means so much to me. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sexgetsreal

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

About Riley J. Dennis

Riley J. Dennis is a trans, non-binary, gay, polyamorous woman who makes YouTube videos about intersectional feminism, politics, queer stuff, and a whole lot of other topics. She thinks all TV shows and movies should be gayer.

You can follow her on FacebookInstagram, and Twitter @rileyjaydennis.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_173.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EST

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