Sex Gets Real: Talking Sex, Relationships, and Kink with Dawn Serra

This episode is sponsored by HotelsByDay. Save 5% with code SGR5off.

It's Christmas Day! What better way to celebrate a holiday than with a sexy, fun chat with not one but TWO fellow sex educators? And from New Zealand, no less.

Kate McCombs and Louise Bourchier are here to help me answer questions from you about getting started with anal sex after a bad first experience, dealing with big emotions after losing your virginity, feeling sexually frustrated in a relationship after moving in with your boyfriend, the importance of empathy, and a whole lot more.

These two women are smart, kind, and endlessly fascinated in sexuality and communication. I adore them both.

Don't forget to check out the details about submitting your listener confessions because I want to hear from you.

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

Resources from this episode

Dawn's online anal course is here.

"Mating in Captivity" by Esther Perel

"When Your Sex Drives Don't Match: Discover Your Libido Types to Create a Mutually Satisfying Sex Life" by Sandra Pertot

"The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women" by Tristan Taormino

"The Ultimate Guide to Kink" by Tristan Taormino

"The New Topping Book" and "The New Bottoming Book" by Dossie Easton

"Baby Got Back: Anal Erotica" by Rachel Kramer Bussel

"Enough to Make You Blush" by Princess Kali

Kink Academy for all those kinky how-to videos

About Louise Bourchier

Louise Bourchier, MPH knows sex. She presents workshops on sexual health, sexual pleasure and communication in relationships. Her focus is on the feel‐good aspects of sex, delivered with a healthy dash of humour. Equipped with a vulva puppet and anatomy diagrams, you can guarantee this is not the sex education you received in school. As a leading sex educator, Louise has taught over one hundred workshops to diverse adult audiences. She has presented at Sexpo Australia, spoken at universities including University of Sydney, University of Melbourne, and University of Auckland, as well as working with a wide range of professional and community groups. Louise has a Masters of Public Health, specialising in sexual health, from the University of Melbourne, and lives in Auckland, New Zealand.

You can find Louise at LouiseBourchier.com, and follow her on Twitter @louiselabouche and Instagram.

About Kate McCombs

Kate McCombs, MPH is a sex & relationships educator who’s geeky about empathy and connection.

Ultimately, all of her work is about helping people feel more comfortable talking about sex and feelings. She believes that meaningful conversations and accurate information can help us create a healthier and more joy-filled world.

To that end, she writes articles and facilitates workshops on how to build amazing relationships. You can find out more about Kate at KateMcCombs.com. You can also follow her on Twitter @katecom and on Instagram.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

 

Direct download: Episode_141.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

Did you hear the announcement about listener confessions being part of the show? Visit sexgetsreal.com/ep140 to check out details, examples, suggestions, and how to get them to me. It's time to make you part of the show!

Rain DeGrey and I have been trying to make this interview happen for over 2 years, and it's FINALLY here. I thought it would be a perfect pre-holiday episode so everyone who is traveling for the holidays could have a fun little distraction.

As you'll hear, Rain does not hold back on all of the things she loves doing with her body when it comes to BDSM and exploring her edges. She loves intensity and pushing herself to the limit. There may be some things discussed in this episode that are a bit intense, so settle in and prepare yourself for talk of being buried alive, black eyes, injuries, wrestling, needing CPR, breath play, and much much more.

Plus, what it's like to have zero fucks to give and why more of us should stop worrying and start living.

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

Resources from this episode

Rain's tweet about Christian's wanting to fuck her.

About Rain DeGrey

Rain DeGrey is an international educator, writer, presenter and performer that has been teaching kink and sex education classes since 2009. After getting her start as a fetish model and Pro Domme, she was motivated to branch out into education, something she is extremely passionate about. Demystifying sexuality and presenting in a clear and humorous way are trademarks of her teaching style and she believes strongly in making sex education fun.

She has taught on a wide variety of topics at Harvard, Northwestern University, Kink.com, The Citadel, Pure Pleasures, Stormy Leather, Folsom Fringe, The Looking Glass, KinkAcadamy, PassionateU, Mission Control and Boundcon in Germany.

Her work has been featured in such places as Playboy TV’s “69 sexiest things to do before you die”, Seattle Erotic Arts Festival, The SF Fetish Ball, Exotic Erotic, Rope::Burn, Kink-e-zine and Femina Potens. Additionally, she is a regular contributor to multiple online magazines.

You can find Rain at RainDeGrey.com, as well as on Twitter, Facebook, and Fetlife as Rain DeGrey.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_140.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

This episode is sponsored by HotelsByDay. Save 5% with code SGR5off.

Did you hear the announcement about listener confessions being part of the show? Visit sexgetsreal.com/ep139 for all the details and guidelines.

I am so so so excited about hearing your voices and stories.

Anyway, back to this week's episode. I have a ton of listener emails in the queue, so I was happy to get to a few this week on munches and online handles, pubic hair trends, and finding a sex position therapist.

Plus, if your wife says she can get a bunch of sex toys for super cheap, does that mean they're bad? I weigh in on how to find affordable sex toys that are body safe.

Then, I chat with Lora Ivanova from myLAB Box, an at-home STI testing service for folks in the United States. She has soooooo much information on STIs, tests that doctors often miss, and ways to reduce stigma around something over 30% of us experience in our lives.

You can get 20% off STD and HIV test through myLAB Box until December 31, 2016 using code GIVETHANKS16.

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

About myLAB Box

myLAB Box is a first-of-its-kind service that delivers STD screening solutions to your doorstep allowing you to keep private things private. Best of all, you can enjoy FREE prescriptions without setting a foot outside if you ever test positive. Uncomplicate your life and get results with a click!

We’ve worked with some of the best experts in the U.S. to design a program that allows you to screen anytime and anywhere. Each test can be completed in less than 5 minutes (including reading the instructions) with no need to drive, schedule appointments or wait in line. We will remind you when it’s time to test again so you will never have to worry or keep track. And best of all, our revolutionary system is so affordable, you won’t believe you ever lived without it.

Check them out at mylabbox.com and follow them on Facebook.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

 

Direct download: Episode_139.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

This episode is sponsored by HotelsByDay. Save 5% with code SGR5off.

Content note: talk of suicide.

I always love when I get to have nuanced conversations about topics like sex work, porn, consent, and polyamory. So, when Kitty Stryker said she'd come on the show, I knew the discussion would be a gritty one.

Kitty is currently working on an anthology book all about creating consent culture that comes out in 2017. We dig into what that looks like and how she's centering marginalized voices.

Then we talk about what consent means within the context of capitalism and work. If you can't leave sex work because traditional employers won't hire former porn performers and you have to remain in sex work even if you're ready to leave, can you truly be consenting to the work? If we started focusing more on labor issues and capitalism, could we bridge the gap between anti-sex work feminists and pro-sex work feminists to find a common ground where nuance was encouraged?

Kitty also shares a personal story about suicide and how it ties into kink and poly communities. What does a community actually mean, anyway?

At the end of the hour, we field a question from a listener about polyamory and whether it's right for her.

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

Resources from this episode

Kitty's article "Porn Didn't Ruin Your Sex Life. Sorry."

"So Someone You Love is Suicidal" by Kitty can be read here, too.

The Five Love Languages

About Kitty Stryker

Kitty Stryker is a writer, activist, and authority on developing a consent culture in alternative communities. She was the founder of ConsentCulture.com, a website that ran for 4 years as a hub for LGBT/kinky/poly folks looking for a sex critical approach to relationships and which will be relaunched on 2017. Kitty also cofounded the artsy sexy party Kinky Salon London, as well as creating the award winning Ladies High Tea and Pornography Society, the SF based kink party Whippersnappers, and acting as head of cosplay for queer gaming convention GaymerX.

Now working on "Ask: A Discussion of Consent Culture", an anthology through Thorntree Press coming out in 2017, Kitty tours internationally speaking at universities and conferences about feminism, sex work, body positivity, queer politics, and more. She lives in Oakland, California with her fiancee and two cats, Foucault and Nietzsche.

You can find Kitty at kittystryker.com, on Twitter @kittystryker, and on Facebook.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_138.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 6:00am EDT

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