Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra

NOW ENROLLING!

  1. Check out my new pleasure course which is enrolling now through April 22, 2019 (we'll enroll again in June!). It's called Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy and runs for five weeks online. I'd love to see you there.

On to your emails!

Adam wrote back after hearing his email on the show with an emotional thank you.

Beginning Gusher and Waterboarding Victim both wrote in with the same question from opposite perspectives. How can you prevent squirting?

I share some thoughts and advice from other sex educators before weighing in with my thoughts. Essentially, our bodies are going to do what our bodies are going to do, and instead of stopping something natural from happening, a better question is what ELSE can someone do that feels pleasurable and connecting that might not lead to squirting if it must be avoided.

Naive Nancy has a question about condoms. Her boyfriend claims that he can't wear condoms because he's circumcised. Is she being naive? Her friends think so, but they're also having all sorts of other kinds of sex that works for them. Is it a big deal?

Maybe. Maybe not. Because male entitlement to pleasure is the gold standard right now, many dudes have internalized this sense of "I don't want to so I won't" when it comes to condoms. That said, all bodies are different, and one person's experience may be different than another's. Practicing with condoms during masturbation, trying differing amounts of lube on the inside of the condom, and eroticizing condoms can all help.

But, bottom line, as long as he's respecting Nancy's boundaries, he can have whatever experience he has and it doesn't have to be about anything more.

Nic wrote in about being someone who was emotionally and sexually abused. How can Nic find feminist community? Where can Nic find folks who AREN'T invested in misogyny and sexism? Let's talk about finding community and the ways we survive.

Among the things discussed, I mention Laura van Dernoot Lipsky's books "Trauma Stewardship" and "The Age of Overwhelm", "Healing Sex" by Staci Haines, as well as "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk and Peter Levine's books.

Want to support the show? EVERY DOLLAR MATTERS SO MUCH. The best part is if you support at $3 per month and above, you get weekly bonus content that doesn't exist anywhere else. This week we're talking self-care and fantasizing about your girlfriend's mom and aunt. Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast and support the show or to tune into your bonus content.

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram.

About Host Dawn Serra:

What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives.

In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence.

It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_253.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 2:27pm EDT

NOW ENROLLING!

  1. Check out my new pleasure course which is enrolling now through April 22, 2019 (we'll enroll again in June!). It's called Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy and runs for five weeks online. I'd love to see you there.

On to your emails!

Kim wrote in with a sweet note about hearing a trauma story on episode 246 and how much it reminded her that she's not alone in her healing and trauma. Thanks for the support, Kim!

Katie has a request. As someone who is a sex researcher and who does a lot of work around sex, the thing that shocks people the most is that she didn't have intercourse for the first time until she was 30. She'd love to hear more conversations about people who don't have sex until later in life and the benefits and struggles that presents.

I have so many thoughts which include not only the importance of talking about this, but also how it ties to sex work and a sexually equitable future.

Future Mrs. is three months from getting married but she's never been less sure about whether this is what she wants. Her fiancé wants her to have threesomes with other women, and even though she's tried, she just doesn't want. But he keeps bringing it up and it's led to arguments and a lot of conflict. What can she do?

Let's talk about what it looks like to respect someone's boundaries, to have the maturity to hold that our desires will be bigger than our lives can hold, and why expectations are the enemy of connection and trust.

Finally, Distraught has had a few angry outbursts recently that have been rather abusive towards their boyfriend, and while their boyfriend does have some boundary work to do to care for themselves around it, Distraught is hoping for resources to help with anger management amid a chronic illness, changing career, and shrinking financial security. Help!

My recommendations include Karla McLaren's Gift of Anger post and her other anger post, as well as Soraya Chemaly's "Rage Becomes Her", Rebecca Traister's "Good and Mad", and Brittany Cooper's "Eloquent Rage". It might also be helpful for Distraught to check out Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha's "Care Work" and this crip lit round up on Autostraddle around the grief and realities of a body changed by chronic illness.

I also cannot recommend Cristien Storm's boundary book, "Living in Liberation" highly enough to everyone everywhere.

(All of the books are linked to Amazon with my affiliate link. Check with your local, independent bookstores first, if you can!)

Want to support the show? EVERY DOLLAR MATTERS SO MUCH. The best part is if you support at $3 per month and above, you get weekly bonus content that doesn't exist anywhere else. This week we're talking spiritual bypassing and I'm fielding a question on invisible and emotional labor that women often do. Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast and support the show or to tune into your bonus content.

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram.

About Host Dawn Serra:

What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives.

In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence.

It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_252.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 7:11pm EDT

Two important things before we get started:

  1. Register for Explore More Summit, my free online conference! It starts February 25th, 2019 and the theme this year is PLEASURE. You do NOT want to miss it. Check it out here at exploremoresummit.com.
  2. Support Shine Louise Houston's crowdfunding campaign for her new erotic film, Chemistry Eases the Pain. Details are here.

On to your emails!

First up, CuriousMom was raised with a lot of sexual shame and body shame. As a mom of two daughters, she is doing her best to raise them in a sex positive way (and it sounds like she's doing a GREAT job), but she doesn't know what she doesn't know. Where can she find resources and support on raising kids in a sex positive home?

I cannot recommend my chat with Melissa Carnagey from Sex Positive Families highly enough. It's at this year's Explore More Summit on the VERY FIRST DAY, so get on that. Also, Sex Positive Families is a MUST for all folks with kids in their lives. Check out their recommending reading list, too. It's for kids and adults.

Also check out Nadine Thornhill, Cory Silverberg's books "What Makes a Baby?" and "Sex is a Funny Word", and once your kids are teens, they MUST know about Scarleteen.

Next up, E wrote in with a sweet note about the ways the show has changed. I am so grateful for all of you!!!

Then, Unimportant wrote in because they feel neglected by my lack of an email response. Let's talk about the realities of what happens on my end and why every single email is so treasured even if you don't hear back from me. Let's do this imperfectly!

Finally, Adam wrote in. His wife has a very limiting disability and it's led to a sexless marriage. He's been hiring escorts to help with his sexual needs because he loves his wive and their children, and just isn't sure what to do. 

And...THE AMAZING Shine Louise Houston joins us to talk about her new film, Chemistry Eases the Pain. Help support the film, check out the awesome perks, and spread the word. We need more awesome queer smut!

Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast and support the show at $3 or more for exclusive access to this and every week's bonus content. This week? Supporters are getting something NO ONE ELSE IS GETTING! An exclusive extended clip from my chat with Melissa Carnagey of Sex Positive Families! 

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram.

About Host Dawn Serra:

What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives.

In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence.

It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_251.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:40pm EDT

Before we get started there's a huge thing you should know about:

  1. Explore More Summit 2019 is HAPPENING! The 4th annual free online conference is all about pleasure this year. You do not want to miss these conversations. They are incredible. Check out the line-up and register FOR FREE at exploremoresummit.com.

Embodiment as our path to pleasure

What are the ways we can access pleasure? What if pleasure isn't accessible to us? And how does trauma impact the body?

Sage Hayes is here to tell us all about embodiment, trauma, healing, safety, and the phenomenal pleasure available to us when we learn how to listen more deeply.

It's a beautiful, deep exploration of what it means to be in a body in a world that isn't very kind to bodies. We also talk about the wisdom of our coping mechanisms, why leaving the body is wise, and ways we create feelings of danger or erode safety in our relationships through unspoken expectations and demands.

Rich stuff ahead!

Want to hear my bonus chat with Sage all about co-regulation and helping each other when we are anxious, triggered, or in a tough spot? Pop over to Patreon! Folks who support the show at $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly content that you can't find anywhere else. Hear it and all the other bonuses at patreon.com/sgrpodcast 

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

About Sage Hayes:

Sage Hayes is interested in creating collective conditions for embodied healing and liberation. In their work, Sage weaves together principles and practices rooted in somatic experiencing, biodynamic craniosacral, systemic constellations, quantum physics and love. Offering one-on-one support and workshops, Sage is curious about the evolutionary possibilities at the intersection of emergent life and a multi-layered consciousness focused on justice and liberation.  Pronouns: she/he/they - whatever your experience is of Sage in the moment.

Stay in touch at embodiedliberation.com.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_250.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 12:45am EDT

ONE BIG THING before we get started:

  1. Register for Explore More Summit! It starts February 25th, 2019 and the theme this year is PLEASURE. It's free and online, and you do NOT want to miss it. Check it out here at exploremoresummit.com.

On to your emails!

First up, where can people go for alternatives to Tumblr now that it's banned porn? I found two articles with many of the same recommendations. Check out the Refinery29 piece and the Cosmo piece (this one is by Elle Chase, known as Lady Cheeky). As always, pay for your porn!

Francis wrote in because they are struggling with being on top during sex. Is there something wrong? Why doesn't it feel good? They feel like everything is wrong, unsexy, and unfeminine and they are worried their ex broke up with them over not being able to do this position.

The short of it is that not every position is for every body. We are all built differently and what we see in movies and in porn is meant to sell pleasure, not be a marker for "normal" or "real" sex. So instead, what would be pleasurable? What would feel yummy? Move in the direction of things that feel good and leave the rest. That's why sex can be so fun - it's an opportunity to be endlessly creative in all the ways our bodies are and possibly fit with other bodies.

EEP! is struggling because their spouse is having some big feels and not managing them in a very skilled way. How can someone new to expressing emotions find a way to wield them with more care and how can EEP! care for their own needs through it all?

First up, I highly recommend pre-ordering the new book "Burnout" by Emily & Amelia Nagoski which is all about stress, overwhelm, and ways we can process our stress feelings in better ways.

I also recommend Tea & Empathy cards (which are in re-print status right now, so stay tuned by following Kate Kenfield). A free alternative is the feelings wheel.

Aussie gal wants to know if having more disabled folks in porn will make them MORE likely to be abused since they're so vulnerable. Let's talk about invisibilizing and erasing folks in an attempt to "protect" them. NO NO NO.

Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast and support the show at $3 or more for exclusive access to this and every week's bonus content.

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram.

About Host Dawn Serra:

What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives.

In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence.

It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_249.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:42pm EDT

Before we get started there are three HUGE things:

  1. This episode is generously brought to you by LOLA. Listeners get 40% off their subscription at mylola.com using discount code SGR. Have organic cotton pads, tampons, wipes, and even condoms delivered discretely to your door at exactly the interval you need for your body. When you use the discount code it helps the show so so much.
  2. We hit 5 MILLION downloads and to celebrate, I made a little video plus a huge giveaway. Three lucky folks will be randomly selected to win three different prizes. Watch the video and put your name in the hat to win at sexgetsreal.com/five.
  3. Explore More Summit 2019 is HAPPENING! The 4th annual free online conference is all about pleasure this year. You do not want to miss these conversations. They are incredible. Check out the line-up and register FOR FREE at exploremoresummit.com.

How have you been domesticated?

 

One of my favorite things to do is to have deep, wandering conversations with people I love and admire. It feels intimate, expansive, playful, and important. The kinds of conversations that I think about for days or weeks, mulling over new perspectives and confronting new edges.

Leonore Tjia is one of those magical people that I LOVE diving deep with. I first met Leonore years ago when she was working with Amy Jo Goddard and I attended a few webinars. Leonore's fierce softness made an immediate impression.

Over the years, Leonore's practice has expanded and shifting into this incredible practice around wildness, movement, sexuality, and the erotic. 

So this week's episode is like a little peek behind the curtain. What happens when two folks who think about, write about, and dig deep into the caverns of sexuality and the erotic get together and dance? This is that conversation.

We talk about wildness, the erotic as an expansive resource we are in relationship with rather than a thing we own, our inner critic, and why so often when we crave newness in relationship it's not actually new people we're wanting but newness in ourselves.

This episode is literally an hour of brain sex. Yum.

Plus, Patreon supporters, if you support the show at $3 per month and above you get exclusive weekly content that you can't find anywhere else. This week, Leonore and I talk all about the ways BDSM can help us heal past traumas. Hear it all at patreon.com/sgrpodcast

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

About Leonore Tjia:

Leonore is a feminist sexuality educator who helps people create more presence, play, pleasure and power in the bedroom and beyond. As a trained practitioner of Internal Family Systems therapy, she assists people in recovering the parts of their sexual selves that have been exiled and repressed. Her workshops and teaching bring an ecological focus to sexual empowerment, helping people to reconnect to erotic vitality and step into sexual wildness.
 
Stay in touch with Leonore at luminoussex.com and on Instagram.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_248.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

Before we get started there are three HUGE things:

  1. This episode is generously brought to you by LOLA. Listeners get 40% off their subscription at mylola.com using discount code SGR. Have organic cotton pads, tampons, wipes, and even condoms delivered discretely to your door at exactly the interval you need for your body. When you use the discount code it helps the show so so much.
  2. We hit 5 MILLION downloads and to celebrate, I made a little video plus a huge giveaway. Three lucky folks will be randomly selected to win three different prizes. Watch the video and put your name in the hat to win at sexgetsreal.com/five.
  3. Explore More Summit 2019 is HAPPENING! The 4th annual free online conference is all about pleasure this year. You do not want to miss these conversations. They are incredible. Check out the line-up and register FOR FREE at exploremoresummit.com.

adrienne maree brown is one of my heroes and she makes my heart sing.

I am over the moon to get to share this with you. adrienne maree brown is one of my biggest heroes. Her work has influenced me on a very deep and transformative level, so getting to speak with her about her new book, "Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good" was a dream come true.

We talk pleasure, pleasure activism, drugs, sex, and so much more.

adrienne explains how pleasure activism is anti-capitalist because it's not about spending more money, but about tapping out of believing something is wrong with you and instead realizing you are enough as you are and you can access enough-ness and satisfaction through your body today.

We talk about what gets taken from us, what it means to center the most marginalized when we consider access to pleasure, what it means to be satisfiable versus numbing out, and why all of this helps us to settle more deeply into our own wisdom and healing.

AK Press, an independent anarchist publisher, has "Pleasure Activism" on sale RIGHT NOW for just $15 before February 24th when it gets released. Support them, support adrienne, buy it today.

Plus, Patreon supporters, if you support the show at $3 per month and above you get exclusive weekly content that you can't find anywhere else. This week, I'm rolling around in a listener question. Hear it all at patreon.com/sgrpodcast

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

About adrienne maree brown:

adrienne maree brown is author of the soon to be released "Pleasure Activism The Politics of Feeling Good by AK Press, "Emergent Strategy: Shaping Change, Changing Worlds and the co-editor of Octavia’s Brood: Science Fiction from Social Justice Movements. She is a writer, social justice facilitator, pleasure activist, healer and doula living in Detroit.
 
Stay in touch with adrienne on Instagram @adriennemareebrown.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_247.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 6:00am EDT

Two things to get started:

  1. Grab the official Sex Gets Real recommended reading list now! Not only will you have access to my most recommended books, but it will add you to the show's newsletter which is going to be crucial as social media networks purge sex education from their pages.
  2. Enter to win "Girl Sex 101" and "Bad Dyke" by Allison Moon to celebrate the New Year! One lucky winner will be selected at random on January 15th, so enter now. U.S. and Canada folks only.

This week's Patreon bonus is some yummy poems (including one that ends with "Yes Mistress"), what it means to be an unchaste woman, and a super exclusive invitation for patrons to share their art for a project that's coming up this spring. Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast and support the show at $3 or more for exclusive access to this and every week's bonus content.

Time for your emails!

Heidi wrote in with some thanks. I hope it's clear that what I share on this podcast is an invitation, not a prescription. Take what works and leave the rest.

Amanda the Ace Mom wrote in because her son came out to her as asexual on Christmas Day. How can she support him?

Here are a bunch of asexuality resources:

Jenny wrote in with a really touching and personal story about her experience with sexual assault, PTSD, and healing. 

I got an update from Anonymous who wrote in last year with a question about not being able to have vaginal intercourse. Well, things have changed a lot for Anonymous and now she has a new problem. She can't get enough intercourse and her fiancé misses their old methods before intercourse was an option. What can she do?

Finally, let's talk about #SurvivingRKelly. 

Dr. Sami Schalk wrote an awesome, thought-provoking piece for Bust called "A Call-In To White Feminists About 'Surviving R. Kelly'". For those of you who have not yet see the docuseries or who aren't aware of all the conversations happening about the violence black women and girls face, read it now.

Also, let's talk about centering survivors AND finding ways to accountability and healing that don't include prison. Because feeding the prison industrial complex helps no one.

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram.

About Host Dawn Serra:

What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives.

In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence.

It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_246.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 3:42pm EDT

Enter to win “Girl Sex 101” and “Bad Dyke” by Allison Moon to celebrate the New Year! Cut off for entries is January 15, 2019. One lucky winner will be selected at random , so enter now. U.S. and Canada folks only.

Also, if you're looking for support around healing your relationship with your body, deepening your relationship with a partner, unpacking your desire, and finding more pleasure, I'd love to work one-on-one with you. Learn more at dawnserra.com.

ALOK is here. It's time to question everything.

ALOK is someone I've long admired and learned so much from. Their talk at Explore More Summit 2018 was a fan favorite by a landslide. And for good reason. ALOK is not only an incredible thought-leader, but they are utterly transparent about the violence, harm, and vulnerability of living in the world as someone who is gender non-conforming - the rawness of how they show is important.

We start our chat by fielding a listener question from SC who is struggling with HSV, PCOS, and hirsutism which means SC has body hair in a lot of places that cause distress and shame.

ALOK talks about the ways the body positivity movement has failed to account for body hair diversity. Also, the ways ALOK was animalized and othered for their body hair, even as a younger person.

What does it mean to be gender non-conforming and why is the gender binary so violent? ALOK has such honest, raw truths to share here.

We also talk about why so many movements leave the most marginalized behind and why liberation and freedom are not conditional. Those folks who are cut out are the ones we should be centering - if the most marginalized are free, all of us are free. But framing queer freedom around gay marriage or body positivity over only cis "healthy" bodies actually reinforce the violence.

Read the interview ALOK did with Mia Mingus on ugliness here. IT IS SO GOOD.

Let's talk about why we want validation from people and institutions that do not see our worth and humanity, and why that's so scary. How art will set us free and imagine new worlds. And much much more.

Plus, Patreon supporters, if you support the show at $3 per month and above you get exclusive weekly content that you can't find anywhere else. This week, I'm rolling around in a listener question: he would rather self-pleasure and fantasize than engage intimately with his wife. Is that OK? Hear it all at patreon.com/sgrpodcast

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

About ALOK:

ALOK is a gender non-conforming writer, performer, & fashionist@
 
You can find them on Instagram @alokvmenon.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_245.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 2:14pm EDT

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