Sex Gets Real: Talking Sex, Relationships, and Kink with Dawn Serra

An updated Patreon you say? Why yes. Yes it is. Check out the sweet new rewards (that I can actually deliver).

What happens when two sex educators get together and geek out? You get this spanking new episode featuring Bex Caputo from the Dildorks podcast.

If ever there was an episode that covered all the things, it's this one. We talk about piss play and watersports. We giggle over fisting. We talk about kitten play and puppy play which leads us into talking power exchange and being a good submissive.

But it doesn't stop there. We also talk about the incredible awesomeness that is platonic kink - a thing that way too many people don't know is a thing. Then there's sex labs and practicing sexy stuff before you want it to BE sexy and the stunning advice Bex received when considering going on testosterone.

What if you don't have to wait to be miserable to want to change your body or your gender, your relationship or your job? What if you simply want to be happier? What if joy was enough of a reason?

We're going everywhere, so tune in and join the fun.

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

Resources from this episode

Read Bex's Woodhull wrap-up here.

About Bex Caputo

Bex Caputo is a sex educator, blogger, speaker, podcaster, and dildo peddler. They’ve been a proud and undeniable kinkster ever since they insisted on being served their meals in a dog bowl at the age of 8, (and even before that, probably). They’re a Virgo, a Hufflepuff, a pup, and a nonbinary queerdo who grew up into the pop punk skater boy they had a crush on in high school.

Stay in touch with Bex on InstagramTwitter @BexTalksSex.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_180.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EST

Guess what? LOLA is sponsoring this week's episode. You can get pads, tampons, and liners delivered to you, via their rad subscription service, at 60% off your first order when you subscribe. Just use promo code SGR when you visit mylola.com and get started.

This week it's you and me and all your emails.

But before I answer your questions, let's talk about the Seattle Erotic Film Festival and Dan Savage's HUMP! Festival, both of which I attended this week.

The Seattle Erotic Film Festival had a lot of films that really weren't my cup of tea. Which is OK, but it did tell me a lot about what I enjoy watching and what I don't.

I mentioned "Cake" by Anne Hu, and you can see the trailer here. It was truly delightful. Boner Loaner and How to Date a Couple were also favorites. Oh, and two films with scat play! Color me surprised.

HUMP had a lot more that I enjoyed and laughed over, but I was still bummed that the best sex films were both awarded to thin, young, cis, hetero-presenting couples.

Jnix wrote in wanting to know what the definition of "cis" is. Great question.

Shane not only showers me with love but needs some help with a new girlfriend who is scared of spanking and flogging. What can Shane do? I share my first experience with flogging and how I didn't really enjoy it. But now flogging and spanking are huge parts of the sensation and kink I enjoy.

Marisa is worried that her new love of being restrained might become a problem is she does it too much. Will it stay exciting if she does it a lot or should she try and hold back so it continues to feel special? My thoughts include adopting an attitude of curiosity and wonder - whether we're talking about monogamy, restraints, or anything else in our life.

I also touch on why newness doesn't always have to be the goal, despite what we're constantly sold in this world.

Hopelessly Devoted to Boot is desperately in need of help because his boot fetish is ruining his marriage of 20 years. He needs boots, and while his wife used to accommodate his fetish by wearing boots, more recently she's been refusing to wear the boots he needs for sexual arousal and pleasure. Now their sex is virtually gone. What can he do?

All the thoughts on fetishes, the humanity of our partners, and navigating tough spots in relationships.

Sad Gay Millennial wrote a long, eloquent letter to me about his loneliness, his violations with gay male culture, and his fear of bottoming even though he loves it. I adore that he acknowledges a lack of consent culture and widespread patriarchy which is present in gay male culture. In addition to therapy & professional sexual help, hear my thoughts on how to navigate love, dating, and trauma when you feel alone and totally empty.

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

Resources mentioned in this episode

My Sex Map game is only $9 and can help you find new ways to talk about sex. Grab it here.

About Dawn Serra

I am the creator and host of the laughter-filled, no-holds-barred weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real. I lecture at colleges and universities on sex and relationships, too.

When I’m not speaking and teaching, I also work one-on-one with clients who need to get unstuck around their pleasure and desire.

But it’s not all work! In my downtime, I can often be found watching an episode of Masterchef Australia, cooking up something delicious, or adventuring with my sexy AF husband.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_179.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EST

What happens when you get a herpes diagnosis? And more importantly, what happens if you begin hiding that you have herpes?

Dr. Sheila Loanzon, an OBGYN who gives amazing PAP smears, is here to talk about her very personal story and new book, "Yes, I Have Herpes."

From advice on how to deal to details about what herpes really is, Dr. Sheila has practical advice as well as powerful personal stories about why she didn't tell her partners about her herpes for many years and what it was like to go back and tell them the truth.

We also talk about why it's so important to work on ourselves if we want healthy relationships, how to set yourself up for a successful PAP smear, tips for trauma survivors and trans folks to find a good doctor, why ALL vulvas are beautiful, and the strangest question Dr. Sheila has ever had from a patient.

You don't want to miss this.

Have you signed up for my Sex is a Social Skill group calls yet? It's a fun online group video chat every 2 weeks where we practice talking about sex, love, and life. Join in the fun and let's level up together. Learn more and enroll here. The next call is today, Sunday, September 17th at 4:00pm Pacific.

Oh! Don't forget: Patreons who support at the $20 level and above get FREE access to the group calls. Of course, you can support the show at any level from $1 and up and it means so much to me. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sexgetsreal

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

Resources from this episode

Interested in Dr. Sheila's book? Check it out here: "Yes, I Have Herpes"

About Dr. Sheila Loanzon

Dr. Sheila Loanzon, also known as the "Compassionate Gynecologist," is a board certified obstetrician and gynecologist with over 15 years of patient and personal experience with the diagnosis of herpes. Dr. Loanzon offers women specific tools to shift their perspective, gain insight, and move forward confidently and in self-love. Dr. Loanzon received her BA in biochemistry at Vassar College and completed medical school at the College of Osteopathic Medicine of the Pacific. She currently works at a large multispeciality practice in California. You can find her on Twitter @DrSheilaGyn.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_178.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EST

How can you thrive as a sex worker, navigating the fact that you have no real safety while also performing erotic fantasies and sex at the same time? How can you care for yourself as clients bring in their pain, shame, and fear and expect you to heal them?

Lola Davina is here to help us answer those questions and more. Her new book, "Thriving in Sex Work," is like a big sister's guide to caring for yourself as a sex worker.

We talk about the unrealistic expectations clients often come in with, being financially responsible, setting boundaries and trusting your gut, creating rituals to celebrate small and big wins, and a whole lot more.

It's fascinating and practical. It's one of my favorite chats, and I think you'll hear why.

Have you signed up for my Sex is a Social Skill group calls yet? It's a fun online group video chat every 2 weeks where we practice talking about sex, love, and life. Join in the fun and let's level up together. Learn more and enroll here. The next call is today, Sunday, September 3rd at 4:00pm Pacific.

Oh! Don't forget: Patreons who support at the $20 level and above get FREE access to the group calls. Of course, you can support the show at any level from $1 and up and it means so much to me. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sexgetsreal

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

Resources from this episode

Grab Lola Davina's book, "Thriving in Sex Work: Heartfelt Advice for Staying Sane in the Sex Industry: A Self-Help Book for Sex Workers"

About Lola Davina

Lola Davina has spent more than 25 years in and around the sex industry, working as a stripper, dominatrix, porn actress, and escort over a fifteen-year period. She has earned an M.A. in Human Sexuality and an M.S. in Nonprofit Fundraising, and writes a self-care and wellness column for YNOTcam.com.

You can stay in touch with Lola at loladavina.com, on Facebook, and on Twitter @Lola_Davina.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_177.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EST

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