Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra

Pleasure can be complicated, hunger can feel like a betrayal, but our bodies were built for pleasure and it's time for you to reconnect with what it means to feel good, to prioritize what brings you delight and joy, and to unpack the old stories that keep you stuck in shame and guilt. My new online course, Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy, will start enrolling soon, so join the notification list now and get first dibs on the course.

Ev'Yan Whitney on sensuality, the erotic, and body hair

I've followed Ev'Yan on Instagram for quite a while and been enchanted by the ways she shares and expresses herself there. As soon as she said yes to being on the show, I was excited.

We talk about sensuality and how Ev'Yan struggled with the ways sensuality and sexuality were bound together culturally. Her process of teasing out her sensual self and separating it from her sexuality has opened her up to so much more pleasure and the erotic.

What happens when you start sharing your sensual self with the world, like so many people recently did with the #SensualSelfieChallenge? And how does Ev'Yan tend to her self-care through the senses?

We also talk about body hair and how women's bodies have been policed for capitalism purposes, plus navigating non-monogamy in her long-term partnership with her husband.

Plus, Patreon supporters - If you support the show at the $3 level and above, Ev'Yan and I talk about sensual rituals. How can we create rituals that honor our bodies, our cycles, the erotic, and our senses? Delight in it with us and support the show at http://patreon.com/sexgetsreal

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

About Ev'Yan Whitney:

Ev’Yan Whitney is a writer and sexuality doula who helps facilitate, educate, and hold space for women and femme-identifying individuals who want to heal and liberate their sexuality. She's also the host of the podcast, The Sexually Liberated Woman, which is an ongoing dialogue about sexual awakening and identity. You can find out more about Ev'Yan's work at sexloveliberation.com and see her brazenly celebrating her sexuality on Instagram at @evyan.whitney.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

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  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
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Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_231.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 9:44am EDT

Pleasure can be complicated, hunger can feel like a betrayal, but our bodies were built for pleasure and it's time for you to reconnect with what it means to feel good, to prioritize what brings you delight and joy, and to unpack the old stories that keep you stuck in shame and guilt. My new online course, Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy, will start enrolling soon, so join the notification list now and get first dibs on the course.

Donna Zuckerberg on pickup artistry, Red Pill, and the classics

The last Harvard University Press book I had a chance to review for the show was "About Abortion" by Carol Sanger, which was such a spectacular experience. So, I was incredibly excited when HUP sent me a copy of Donna Zuckerberg's new book, "Not All Dead White Men."

Not only do we take a critical look at pickup artistry, Red Pill communities, and how many members of these communities have co-opted the classics to serve their patriarchal vision, but we also talk about the ways that PUAs dehumanize women, approach dating, and treat boundaries and consent as optional.

It's fascinating, important, and eye-opening, to say the least. (Also, we really had a blast recording the Patreon bonus - it might be even better than the full episode!)

Grab your copy of "Not All Dead White Men" at Harvard University Press or on Amazon. It's such a thought-provoking read.

Plus, Patreon supporters - If you support the show at the $3 level and above, Donna and I talk about negging, seduction techniques, and pickup artistry moving online. What question might a PUA lead with on an app like Tinder and why does it get under Donna's skin so much? Why is name calling and escalating to rage and threats part of the pleasure? Delight in it with us and support the show at http://patreon.com/sexgetsreal

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

About Donna Zuckerberg:

Donna Zuckerberg is a Silicon Valley–based classicist who received her doctoral training at Princeton University. She is the founder and Editor-in-Chief of Eidolon, a prize-winning online Classics magazine.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_230.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

Pleasure can be complicated, hunger can feel like a betrayal, but our bodies were built for pleasure and it's time for you to reconnect with what it means to feel good, to prioritize what brings you delight and joy, and to unpack the old stories that keep you stuck in shame and guilt. My new online course, Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy, will start enrolling soon, so join the notification list now and get first dibs on the course.

Listener questions, pleasure, and reproductive justice with Monica Raye Simpson of SisterSong.

DeeLo wrote in with an a-ha moment around Hannah Gadsby's "Nanette" and something I said a few weeks ago. Yay bodies and rewriting stories.

Julie wanted to offer some thoughts around mindfulness, anxiety, PTSD, and working with a professional after hearing Dr. Lori Brotto's episode a few weeks ago. Co-signed!

Anonymous needs help. Her new partner's erection lasted for hours. Is he just nervous or anxious? Maybe things will get better? Is there something she can do?

I got help answering this question from Patreon supporter Crystal Force, and then weigh in myself.

And then, there's Monica.

The first time I saw Monica speak at Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit, I was moved to tears. Her clarity about the work she does, who she does it for, and how she wants to be in the world is extraordinary. She understands the importance of sexual freedom and the role that happiness, pleasure, and queer acceptance play in our overall lives, and how reproductive justice can be a gateway to freedom in so many aspects of our lives.

I can't wait for you to hear it.

Plus, Patreon supporters - If you support the show at the $3 level and above, this week's bonus is an exploration into a relationship charter. I'll offer you some questions to reflect on and even talk to a loved one about, as a jumping off point for being more deliberate and co-creative in the way you do relationship with each other. Listen and support the show at http://patreon.com/sexgetsreal

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

About Monica Raye Simpson:

Monica Raye Simpson, a queer, black, NC native, has organized extensively against human rights abuse, the prison industry, racism, and systemic violence against Southern black women and LBGTQ people. A proud graduate of the historically black Johnson C. Smith University, she earned a bachelor’s in Communications and organized for LGBTQ rights on and off campus. She then became the Operations Director and the first person of color at the Charlotte Lesbian & Gay Community Center. Next, she trained black youth in activism, philanthropy, and fundraising as the Ujamaa Coordinator for Grassroots Leadership. In 2010, she moved to GA to be SisterSong's Development Coordinator; she was promoted to Deputy Coordinator in 2011, Interim Executive Director in 2012, and Executive Director in 2013.
 
Stay in touch at SisterSong's new website, and follow along at FacebookTwitter, and Instagram.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_229.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:30am EDT

Pleasure can be complicated, hunger can feel like a betrayal, but our bodies were built for pleasure and it's time for you to reconnect with what it means to feel good, to prioritize what brings you delight and joy, and to unpack the old stories that keep you stuck in shame and guilt. My new online course, Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy, will start enrolling soon, so join the notification list now and get first dibs on the course.

Developing body trust, examining masculinity, and exploring pleasure with Aaron Flores.

This episode is generously brought to you by Casper sleep solutions. Get $50 toward select mattresses by visiting Casper.com/SGR and using SGR at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. 

I had the delight to hear Aaron Flores speak at the ASDAH conference in August, and while I knew I really wanted to have him on the show, I was even more excited when I learned about his men's body trust course.

So, how does body trust relate to the sex we have, the pleasure we feel, and the ways we enjoy or police our desire? What does it mean that so many men and boys learn about sex and pleasure from porn? Well, Aaron and I dive into the importance of body trust, how diet culture and toxic masculinity cut us off from our pleasure, and why vulnerability is so crucial to men's healing.

I had a BLAST talking with Aaron, and I can't wait to have him back on the show.

Plus, Patreon supporters - If you support the show at the $3 level and above, this week's bonus Aaron and I dive even deeper into porn, pleasure, and teaching kids about consent. Listen and support the show at http://patreon.com/sexgetsreal

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

About Aaron Flores:

Aaron Flores is a registered dietitian nutritionist based out of Los Angeles, California. With nearly 10 years of experience, Aaron has worked with eating disorders in a variety of settings. A large part of his career was spent working at the VA Greater Los Angeles Healthcare System where he helped develop and launch one of the first Binge Eating Disorder programs to help Veterans struggling with this disorder. Since leaving the VA, Aaron has continued to work in the eating disorder community helping run groups and providing individual counseling to adolescents and adults. He currently works part-time at Center for Discovery and part-time in his private practice in Calabasas, CA. He is a Certified Body Trust® provider, and his main areas of focus are Intuitive Eating and Health at Every Size®. In his work, Aaron helps individuals learn how to make peace with food and develop body-positive behaviors. His work has been featured during Weight Stigma Awareness Week, in blogs for the National Eating Disorder Information Centre and National Eating Disorder Association. Aaron is a frequent speaker and has presented at the 2016 and 2017 Binge Eating Disorder Awareness Annual Conference and the upcoming 2018 International Conference on Eating Disorders. Along with his work with eating disorders, he also is a co-host of the podcast, Dietitians Unplugged.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_228.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 2:33pm EDT

Have you been feeling stuck in your relationship, frustrated with your body, or totally disconnected from your pleasure & desire? One-on-one coaching spots are available in my private practice and rates are going up January 1st, 2019, so now is the perfect time to book a discovery call and learn more about how coaching might help you. Check out the clients I work with and my rates today.  

The power of mindfulness on our pleasure, connection, and desire.

In person interviews are some of my favorite, and Dr. Lori Brotto was able to pop over for this in-person conversation all about her 15 years of sex research on the power of mindfulness, which she's turned into a fabulous book called, "Better Sex Through Mindfulness."

So, this episode is  all about what mindfulness is, how it affects our levels of libido and desire, why mindfulness might be a key to more pleasure, and how to balance mindfulness and fantasy.

We also talk about depression, responsive desire, responsibility in relationships, and how we can get started with mindfulness.

Plus, Patreon supporters - If you support the show at the $3 level and above, this week's bonus is a little mindfulness exercise and some journal prompts around pleasure. Listen and support the show at http://patreon.com/sexgetsreal

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

About Dr. Lori Brotto:

Dr. Brotto completed her PhD in Clinical Psychology from the University of British Columbia (UBC), where her research focused primarily on psychophysiological aspects of sexual arousal in women diagnosed with sexual dysfunctions. Her psychology internship at the University of Washington (UW) specialized in the use of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for mood, anxiety, substance abuse and psychotic disorders. Following her internship, Dr. Brotto’s Fellowship in Reproductive and Sexual Medicine at UW was mentored by Dr. Julia Heiman, director of the Kinsey Institute.

As a registered psychologist, Dr. Brotto offers psychological therapy to patients referred from both UBC Departments of Obstetrics & Gynaecology and Psychiatry, as well as the BC Cancer Agency. Dr. Brotto also sees private patients.

Her new book, Better Sex Through Mindfulness, published by Greystone Books, is a scientifically-informed translation of her research on mindfulness to improve women’s sexuality. It can be ordered here or here or on Amazon via my affiliate link.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_227.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

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