Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
tl;dr Can you change who you're sexually attracted to? Is someone gay for getting blowjobs from a guy? Is it OK to cheat with a sex worker?
Patrons who support at $3 and above, this week's bonus is several Am I The Asshole posts over at I want to know who you think is an asshole and who isn't, so come join me for some laughs and share your thoughts about these predicaments.
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We start by talking about the importance of treating sex workers with respect and we talk a little about a piece in The Guardian about self-care. Head to for the link. I love what it's offering about the ways self-care has been co-opted and what communal care can look like.
Then it's on to your questions.
First up, Q just got their masters degree and through grad school put on some weight. Their partner of 6 years told them they aren't as sexually attracted to them now because of that weight. Can someone change their sexual attraction?
Ohhhhh, do I have thoughts! If you want to hear more about situations like this, be sure to check out my chat with Carmen Cool at Explore More 2019, because we talked about this a lot, too.
Next, Britney is worried her boyfriend is gay. He was getting blowjobs from a gay guy in high school and might have done it again in college. Is he gay and how can she believe him when he's lied before?
Let's talk about sexual orientation and how it isn't always as simple as whether someone is gay or not. Plus, trust seems to be pretty damaged, so I weigh in on how I think they can re-connect.
Finally, Ryan is in a long-term relationship of six years. They have an active and amazing sex life. That said, he has a desire to work with a sex worker to get an erotic massage, but he worries his partner will see that as cheating. Does he deny himself this pleasure just because his partner might not like it?
Relationship agreements are important, folks, and if you can't abide by them, you shouldn't be in a relationship.
A huge thanks to the Vocal Few for their song in the opening and closing of the episode and to Hemlock for their awesome song "Firelight" which was used in this episode between questions.

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About Dawn Serra:

What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia.

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Episode Transcript

Check it out at
Direct download: Episode_293.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:12pm EST