Sex Gets Real 246: Supporting an asexual teen, healing from trauma, & #SurvivingRKelly

Two things to get started:

1. Grab the official Sex Gets Real recommended reading list now! Not only will you have access to my most recommended books, but it will add you to the show's newsletter which is going to be crucial as social media networks purge sex education from their pages.
2. Enter to win "Girl Sex 101" and "Bad Dyke" by Allison Moon to celebrate the New Year! One lucky winner will be selected at random on January 15th, so enter now. U.S. and Canada folks only.

This week's Patreon bonus is some yummy poems (including one that ends with "Yes Mistress"), what it means to be an unchaste woman, and a super exclusive invitation for patrons to share their art for a project that's coming up this spring. Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast and support the show at $3 or more for exclusive access to this and every week's bonus content.

Time for your emails!

Heidi wrote in with some thanks. I hope it's clear that what I share on this podcast is an invitation, not a prescription. Take what works and leave the rest.

Amanda the Ace Mom wrote in because her son came out to her as asexual on Christmas Day. How can she support him?

Here are a bunch of asexuality resources:

• AVEN - the biggest resource on asexuality I'm aware of.
• AVEN's FAQ for Parents
• Asexuality Archive - A Parent's Guide to Asexuality
• Teen Vogue: "What Being Asexual Means to Me"
• Booklist of YA Books with asexual characters (there are many of these, so this is just a starting point)
• Everyday Feminism: "5 Things You Can Do to Support Asexual Youth of Your Life"
• Trevor Support Project's page on Asexuality

Jenny wrote in with a really touching and personal story about her experience with sexual assault, PTSD, and healing. 

I got an update from Anonymous who wrote in last year with a question about not being able to have vaginal intercourse. Well, things have changed a lot for Anonymous and now she has a new problem. She can't get enough intercourse and her fiancé misses their old methods before intercourse was an option. What can she do?

Finally, let's talk about #SurvivingRKelly. 

Dr. Sami Schalk wrote an awesome, thought-provoking piece for Bust called "A Call-In To White Feminists About 'Surviving R. Kelly'". For those of you who have not yet see the docuseries or who aren't aware of all the conversations happening about the violence black women and girls face, read it now.

Also, let's talk about centering survivors AND finding ways to accountability and healing that don't include prison. Because feeding the prison industrial complex helps no one.

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram.

About Host Dawn Serra:

What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives.

In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence.

It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia.

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