Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra (Health, Sexuality)

Sarah and Brian from YaySex.ca join in the fun this week.

Since they recently started teaching an anal sex class, we start off with a question about anal sex myths.

A listener who wants to study sexuality asks for book recommendations and we have quite the list (see below).

Plus, a heartbroken listener is tired of his wife's interest in fast fucks and quickies. He wants lovemaking and slow sex. What can he do?

In this episode, we mentioned a ton of resources. Here are the books we discussed with links!

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

Direct download: Episode_104.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

What if you're already in love before the sex happens?

Comedian and 4-Play Baltimore host, Prescott Gaylord, joins us for the first of two HIQIs.

First, we hear from Sophie about college hook-ups and how she worked all her FWBs on campus. Then, Katie writes in because she is about to have sex with her girlfriend of one year for the first time. But she's never been in love before having sex and needs advice.

We weigh in. Also, Prescott makes lots of t-shirts.

Want to check out Dawn's Facebook community? Pop over here.

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

Direct download: Episode_103.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 8:26am EDT

Dirty Lola joins us this week!

First up, there is a free webinar on March 28th all about intimacy in relationships as you explore non-monogamy and opening an existing relationship up. Register here!

Second, Dawn is an expert speaking at the Love Detox online event that starts April 4th. Learn more here: http://www.thelovedetoxseries.com/dawn

This week's co-host is Dirty Lola, a sex toy extraordinaire at Shag in Brooklyn, and also the creator and host of Sex Ed a Go-Go.

After hearing all about Lola's new Daddy Dom, we jump into two listener questions.

One listener wants to know how to prepare for experimenting with their girlfriend's vibrator. We have lots of thoughts.

Another listener is sexually inexperienced and wants to know - how do you even get started with sex and how do you find people to experiment with? Prepare for LOTS of ideas.

Find Lola on Twitter and check out Sex Ed A Go-Go online or over at swingset.fm.

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

Direct download: Episode_102.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 10:46am EDT

Dylan's official last episode and we talk blowjobs.

If you have any parting messages for Dylan, just use the email down below to send them to Dawn and she'll pass them along.

On this Hit It and Quit It, we heard from a listener about some horrible advice that Anna Faris and Adam Corolla recently gave on Anna's podcast, Unqualified. Just because your partner wants to watch you have sex with someone else does NOT mean they want a divorce. Ugh.

Also, a listener wrote in feeling horrible about how grossed out she gets with blowjobs. Do we have any thoughts?

But (butt?) of course we do.

Also, we have an ask! Can you review us in iTunes? We are trying to move up in the ratings charts. Just search for us in iTunes and leave a review.

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

Direct download: Episode_101.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

100 episodes of Sex Gets Real!!!

Wow.

100 episodes.

What an amazing 2+ years it's been. And it also seems appropriate that today is the day Dylan is announcing she's leaving the show.

As sad as Dawn is about the news, Dylan has an opportunity that is amazing and something she's been wanting for a long time.

The show isn't going anywhere though, so don't worry. We'll be having loads of amazing guest co-hosts and contests, so episode 100 is simply a chance for us to try something new with our next 100 episodes.

And this episode doesn't disappoint - questions about threesomes and unicorns and ass sex and precum and much much more.

Also, we have an ask! Can you go review us in iTunes? We are trying to move up in the ratings charts. Just click the iTunes link below.

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

Direct download: Episode_100.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 6:00am EDT

CAN YOU TAKE THE PLEASURE?!?!

It's OK to change your mind, just like Dawn did at a recent BDSM class.

A few listeners write in with stories and thanks. Plus, our listener Dirty Daughter has a very embarrassing story to share about how her father responded to seeing her sex toys.

And the age old question, should you tell him if he sucks in bed?

Dawn and Dylan share their perspective, which may surprise you.

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, even if you listen on Spreaker or Spotify.

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

Direct download: Episode_99.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 10:39am EDT

Dawn attended a BDSM conference for Valentine's in Canada and tried several new things. Dylan scored a ton of presents.

We have a backlog of listener emails, too. One listener wants to give his girlfriend a vibrator but she's inexperienced and he isn't sure where to start.

Another listener is a virgin and wants to know, should she just have sex and get it over with? How do you even start? What's sex like?

It's a lot of laughter and lots of fun this week, plus some sweet texts from new listeners. We love you, too!

Also, we have an ask! Can you go review us in iTunes? We are trying to move up in the ratings charts. Just click the iTunes link below.

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

Direct download: Episode_98.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

That fits where?

It all starts with an article about modesty and how women should expect to be treated poorly based on what they wear. You know Dawn can't let that go. So, let's put on our ranty pants and rage against the sexist notion that what you wear has anything to do with your value, intelligence, or ability.

Then, we jump into a fun question from a listener who thinks she wants to try her fantasy. What is it? Fisting!

We talk about lube and gloves and communication, plus why mainstream porn is NOT the place to go if you want to learn what it's about.

Don't forget to leave us a review on iTunes, even if you listen on Spreaker or Spotify.

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

Direct download: Episode_97.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 9:29am EDT

Dawn got her hands on a new sex toy that's a clitoral stimulator. She wants to give it a few more test drives, but offers her first impression.

Then, we field listener questions on Bad Dragon dildos, taking money for sex off a craigslist ad which leads us to ranting about sex work laws, and a question about lesbian bed death.

If you can't talk about sex with a partner, you probably shouldn't be having sex. And don't expect sex to be what you want it to be if you can't talk about it. It has to start there.

Also, we have an ask! Can you go review us in iTunes? We are trying to move up in the ratings charts.

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Episode_96.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

Butt stuff. It's all about the butt.

Over 3,500 people turned in for the Explore More Summit. Hundreds of reviews poured in and people loved it. If you want to check out the 30 interviews for yourself, you can still buy them for just over $1 per talk.

A listener needs advice on how to get started with anal. He has a new boyfriend, and he'd like to find a way to practice the sex.

So, we talk butt plugs, fingers, dildos, and prostate massagers.

Plus, what's with the bad anal experiences? Oh, and Dylan thinks she pulled a muscle shoveling all that damn blizzard snow.

Also, we have an ask! Can you go review us in iTunes? We are trying to move up in the ratings charts.

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Episode_95.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

This is what happens when we have coffee and record first thing.

Head over to Explore More Summit at exploremoresummit.com to register for Dawn's free 10-day online summit. It all starts January 28th, 2016, but if you see this after the event, you can still check out the interviews.</em>

We're a little hyper this time around because we recorded SO early in the morning, but what can you do?

We talk ass hooks, porn, clown sex, intersex, and...a listener wrote in from the country of Iran and he is having some shame around masturbation and porn.

So, we weigh in. Can you ever know everything there is to know about sex? Do you WANT to? And what if you're raised in a community or a culture that is very sexually repressed? Let's see where we end up.

Also, we have an ask! Can you go review us in iTunes? We are trying to move up in the ratings charts.

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Episode_94.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 8:49am EDT

Head over to Explore More Summit at exploremoresummit.com to register for Dawn's free 10-day online summit. It all starts January 28th, 2016, but if you see this after the event, you can still check out the interviews.

Dawn has a new coloring book that is all gay men and group sex. Dylan loves it.

Mike wrote back about the rape that he witnessed.

And our listener Marcella wants to know which book Dawn recommends for new techniques for pleasing a penis.

A few of the suggestions include:

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Episode_93.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

Register for the summit!

As of January 17th, there are over 600 people signed up for the Explore More Summit that Dawn created. Ready to join in the fun? Head to exploremoresummit.com. It's free, and Dawn has 30 interviews for you to watch over the course of 10 days, starting January 28th. It's amazing and even has celebrity guests.

We've got listener stories about sex, a question about why a group of swingers needed SO MANY DAMN TOWELS at this hotel, a transphobic politician trying to make horrible laws in Virginia, and a lot more.

One listener writes in saying he tried to talk to his wife about group sex and it went really poorly. Is it him? Why did it go so wrong? Dawn and Dylan have LOTS of ideas on this one.

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Episode_92.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 6:00am EDT

Dawn has a HUGE announcement. 

Head over to Explore More Summit at exploremoresummit.com to register for Dawn's free 10-day online summit. She's been slaving over it for 3 months, in secret, and you do NOT want to miss all of the experts and celebrities she interviewed.

It all starts January 28th, 2016, but if you see this after the event, you can still check out the interviews.

A listener asks about what it's like when we watch cam sites and porn.

Then, we talk about Buck Angel and his awesome vagina, trans bodies, intersex folks (they're SO much more common than anyone realizes) and the trauma of being non-binary and trying to go to the bathroom.

Oh, and Dylan doesn't like Salon.com's suggestion that we all use gender-neutral pronouns, but Dawn is a huge fan. We discuss.

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Episode_91.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

Well, Dylan is sick now, but we're still recording because we missed you.

Listeners write in about getting caught by their parents giving a blow job and getting picked up by lesbians at a conference. Dawn gets a new remote controlled vibrator and has some fun with it.

More on James Deen and Stoya. Plus, Cooper Beckett is offering a special on his new book, A Life Less Monogamous.

And finally, we have a really intense discussion about a listener who witnessed a friend get raped at a play party. What was his responsibility in all of it? What can he do to move on? It's such a tough topic, Dawn reached out to some sex educator friends for their thoughts, as well.

Next week Dawn has a HUGE announcement, so stay tuned for that.

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Sex_Gets_Real_Episode_90.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

 

Yes, we're on a break for the holidays, but Dawn just couldn't take it.

To tide us over until January 3rd, here is a short little erotica reading called "Pink" by Helena Black.

Talk to you in 2016!

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Holiday_special.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 3:14pm EDT

A listener wants us to be really real. Just how messy is anal play? She wants to try it, but she's psyched herself out over the poop.

That sends us off on a bender on all things butts - from hair to the doorbell technique to Dylan getting REALLY excited about all the things she likes in her butt. And of course, loads of practical advice and personal stories on real butt sex and the mess factor.

Dylan closes the show with a little victory statement about Rhonda Rousey losing her fight after the lube fiasco of a few weeks ago.

Have a great holiday season, everyone! We had an amazing 2015.

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Episode_89.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

Straight guys having sexing with straight guys?

We want to start the episode by saying that we stand in solidarity with Stoya after she named James Deen as her rapist. It takes tremendous courage to speak up, especially when the person you're naming is so popular and beloved.

Let's talk about the psychology of victim blaming. Let's also talk about supporting victims and focusing on healing.

Bondage Bands sent us a free sample of their bands, so Dawn has Dylan try them out on-air. Hilarity ensues.

A listener wants to know if their straight fantasies mean they are cheating or less queer. Plus, listeners write in about self-sucking.

Finally, what's with straight guys having sex with other straight guys? Is this is a thing? Does that mean you're gay? We dig in.

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Episode_88.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 6:00am EDT

Sex. The scariest thing in the world?

Dawn really loved this conversation about STI stigma. A recent article in The Atlantic (link below in the show notes) talked about some research findings that show people are terrified of sex.

People judge someone more harshly for transmitting a mild case of curable chlamydia than killing someone with swine flu. Why? Because someone with chlamydia likely had prior sexual encounters and people see that as completely unforgivable.

Unfortunately, our abstinence-only focus on teaching kids how super scary sex can be - STIs can kill and pregnancy can ruin your entire life - means that as adults we simultaneously crave and vilify sex. It's a recipe for lying about STI status, taking huge risks to avoid shame, and driving behaviors into the closet.

Plus, Dawn got a new therapist to help with some relationship feels and it's blowing her mind. Permission to be messy: granted.

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Episode_87.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

We're finally back on track after losing some episodes a few weeks back. We revisit a listener email about self-sucking. Should he introduce his talent to his wife? The thought kind of turns him on.

Then, Dawn and Dylan talk about masturbation being a sin along with a new superpower: zombiefying vagina goo. Scary stuff.

If you like a cushy, gel-like lube for anal, what's a body safe option? Online dating and hook-ups - it's SO easy to send a horrible first message.

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Episode_86.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 6:00am EDT

Dawn & Dylan take a moment to talk about the Paris attacks, plus the lack of visibility on attacks in Beirut, Baghdad, and when the violence is against people of color. We wish peace for all us, but if we want human rights to be upheld, we need to acknowledge when racial justice issues arise.

Dawn is in the process of creating a badass online summit that will be free with some of the world's leading experts in sex, relationships, sensuality, and body love. So, a listener wrote in with a question for the summit experts. Dawn and Dylan dig in a bit.

Should a man married 14-years to a super monogamous spouse just accept that he can't have non-monogamous experiences or does he need to end the marriage with someone he loves in order to have these sexual adventures?

Plus, a kid on a bus does the jerk off motion AND throwing the spooge on cars passing by, including Dawn. She reacts.

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Episode_85.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 6:00am EDT

We have a full episode for you this week. From listener stories about fingering circles as a teenager to warnings against soapy blowjobs, our listeners are certainly adventurous.

Plus, one listener wants to know what can be done now that his wife has had a full hysterectomy and has zero desire for sex. Is there any hope?

Dawn talks pubic hair, and Dylan horrifies us all with a story about a woman using a sausage to pleasure herself in a public bathroom. No, folks. Just no.

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click her
Direct download: Episode_84.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

Dylan is back from Hawaii. Basically, it was really hot and there was boob sweat.

Dawn attended Sex Down South where she saw a hand sex demo, did a masturbation circle, and generally had an amazing time learning from Tristan Taormino and Amy Jo Goddard.

Plus, we have so many listener emails - a sex newbie wants to know if she should carry condoms. A swinger reports back on her latest adventures. Peoria Illinois apparently had a rad Pride. And what if your boyfriend ONLY wants to do reverse cowgirl anymore?

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Episode_83.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 4:00am EDT

Dawn had a shitty week. Not only was she battling Strep, but she fried her laptop and lost this week's episode. So, we're doing a HIQI in place of our longer episode and we'll be back on track in 2 weeks.

So, what are we talking about this week besides Dylan's vacation to Hawaii? Well, a listener, who is a special needs dad, wrote in with some feedback about the interview we had on sex and disability.

Sex and a child with a social or developmental disability gets really complicated? What's right for them? How do you protect them from abuse? Can you? And when is medical treatment actually eugenics in disguise?

It's a tough conversation full of some ableist language, but we have to start somewhere.

Also, retirement communities and STIs. Teach your grandparents and parents about safer sex!

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Episode_82.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:30am EDT

We've reached a new level of gross, folks.

So many listeners stories and confessions - from a new gross word for spooge to a story about an orgy in high school, our listeners are adventurous to the max!

And, one listener wants to know if she went too far with her sister...was it OK or did it cross the line?

We can't stress enough, either, how much we don't want unsolicited dick pics unless they're from Benedict Cumberbatch or Joseph Gordon-Levitt or George Clooney or something. And even then, an ask would be nice.

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Episode_81.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 6:00am EDT