Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra

tl;dr When the sex stops after you move in together, non-binary pregnancy, and why sex with fat folks is not revolutionary.

Patrons who support at $3 and above, there's a new bonus at Let's explore some of what we want to let go of and what we'd like to bring in for 2020, plus the most magical gift list I've ever read.

This week’s episode is you and me and your emails. Before we get to that, a few announcements.

First, you must read this magical thread by @shaanlashun on having sex with fat people. Share it widely. Sing it from the rooftops. The articles they mentioned are linked at

I also am sharing two tweets from @pangmeli and you can find them here and here.

On to your questions!

First up, Lee recently moved in with her partner and the sex has stopped. What gives? Why did the sex stop as soon as they moved in together? The sex was kind of boring before that, so Lee is wondering how to talk to her partner about having sex, how not to build this up into A Thing, and if they can stack complaints of the things that aren't working?

Let's talk about building a solid foundation of positive experiences and trust. We need to all be practicing our sex talk with partners when things are good because it's so upsetting to be in a relationship where the only time you talk about sex is when something is wrong.

I know lots of people are in this situation, so I've got lots of questions and recommendations for Lee, including reading Esther Perel's Mating in Captivity.

Next, Ama wrote in because she was raped twice by her best friend. It's been a year, but she can't stop crying and feeling unlovable. She's been trying to date, but she keeps choosing men who are unavailable.

Finally, H is a non-binary person trying to get pregnant, but they are feeling all sorts of homophobia come up around their masculine body in this quest to have a baby.

I found some awesome resources for non-binary and trans folks who are trying to get pregnant and who are pregnant. Check out the huge list of resources at

Also, huge thanks to Hemlock for their awesome song "Firelight" which was used in this episode between questions. I'm digging it!

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram.

About Dawn Serra:

What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia.

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Episode Transcript

Visit for the transcript.

Direct download: Episode_289.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EST