Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
tl;dr What should you do with sexy pics of your ex and what if you still get off to them? How can you have more pleasure if you have herpes and your partner does not? And what should you do if you can't stop thinking of someone who drifted out of your life?
  1. The October Cohort of my 5-week online course, Power in Pleasure, is enrolling NOW. We kick off TODAY Sunday, October 20th and it's going to be amazing. Learn more and enroll here: (it costs as much as a single coaching session but includes six live calls and five weeks of daily emails bursting with powerful prompts and questions). Join us!
This week, it's me and you!
First up, I want all of us to know about with Nadine Thornhill and Eva Bloom. It's for kids and adults with kids in their lives, but let's be honest. We could all use a refresher. Check it out.
Thinking wrote in about still thinking a lot about an old friend who drifted out of their life. Sometimes those memories are erotic and sometimes not, but is this because Thinking loves them or never got closure?
Crystal from Patreon had a few thoughts for Thinking. And then I weigh in about memories and how they can serve to support the stories we need in our lives. But it's important that we use memories to nourish us or to feel into something that we enjoy rather than investing in the truth of this fiction we've spun.
It's normal to look back, as long as looking back doesn't keep us from living in the present.
Increase My Pleasure Please has herpes and their boyfriend does not. They are using gloves and condoms, but they'd really like to try oral sex. IMPP is on anti-viral meds, but there's still a chance to shed the virus, so what is safe? How can IMPP increase their pleasure without increasing risk?
I love this question because current stats show that 90% of Americans have some form of the herpes virus, which means it's SUPER common. And the more all of us know, the more pleasure we can all experience!
Because I'm not a herpes expert, I turned to a few great resources for data and suggestions. Head to for the full list of links.
The long and the short of it is whether we are in a relationship with differing STI statuses, with disability, with chronic pain, with aging bodies, with fat bodies, with differing needs, or just want to have more options for pleasure, we can experience deep sexual fulfillment and erotic expression when we use our imaginations to connect around the infinite ways we can enjoy each other's bodies - lap dances, mutual masturbation, erotic massage, tickle fights and wrestling, power exchange, bondage, reading erotica together, clothes-on humping and making out, toys, fucking machines - the sky is the limit on pleasure.
Kate has a super short question that I find fascinating. Is it wrong to keep sexy photos of an ex and to sometimes get off to them? What if you're in a new relationship?
Let's talk ethics and respecting people and how the digital age can make us feel entitled to someone's body long after we're with them.
Finally, Patrons, this week's bonus will be some erotic breathwork practices. Join me! If you support the show at $3 per month, you can get access at If you want to help me answer listener questions, the $5 level is for you. Your support means so much!
Have questions of your own you'd like featured on the show? Send me a note using the contact form in the navigation above!

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram.

About Dawn Serra:

What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Use the player at the top of this page.
  2. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Episode Transcript

Head to for the transcript.
Direct download: Episode_281.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 12:12pm EST