Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra

Have you been feeling stuck in your relationship, frustrated with your body, or totally disconnected from your pleasure & desire? One-on-one coaching spots are available in my private practice and rates are going up January 1st, 2019, so now is the perfect time to book a discovery call and learn more about how coaching might help you. Check out the clients I work with and my rates today.  

Communicating with ease about sex, love, and fantasies with Stella Harris.

Stella Harris is a powerhouse in sex education. Her writing has long been something I've admired, and her vulnerability and storytelling are beautiful things. If you haven't seen her Bawdy Storytelling, go check it out.

So, this week's chat, to discuss Stella's new book, "Tongue Tied: Untangling Communication in Sex, Kink, and Relationships" is one I'm super excited about. You've heard me mention again and again on this show that nearly all the questions I receive are about saying the scary things.

Well, Stella is here to help us demystify talking about our fantasies, our boundaries, our needs, and to unpack some of our unspoken expectations and assumptions.

Plus, Patreon supporters - If you support the show at the $3 level and above, Stella and I are talking about THREESOMES! How can we set ourselves up for success with threesomes? Why are dudes who try to convince their girlfriends to have threesomes the worst? And how can you meet that elusive person to join in the fun? Listen and support the show at patreon.com/sgrpodcast

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

About Stella Harris:

Stella Harris is changing the way people experience their sex lives. As a certified intimacy educator and sex coach, she gives her students the tools and confidence to explore their sexuality safely and free of shame. A national and international speaker, Stella teaches everything from pleasure anatomy, to communication skills, to kink and BDSM. Stella writes a weekly sex advice column for Portland’s Willamette Week newspaper and her erotic fiction has appeared in more than a dozen anthologies. Stay in touch with Stella on Instagram and Twitter.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_225.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

Are you ready to sign up for Take Up Space, my online boundaries workshop? Grab your spot today for just $37. Ten lessons, ten worksheets, a lifetime of shifting how you feel about boundaries.

What even is the friendzone, how can a man come to terms with his submissive desires, and questioning desirability politics.

This week it's just you and me before we have another tsunami of awesome guests. 

First up, Angela wrote in with a question about friendzones. Why are they even a thing? Why did her friend suddenly close her out after she denied his advances without any conversation or warning?

Friendzones are bullshit, so I weigh in on the lies that are "friendzones". Plus, WendyCorduroy's Tumblr post on what the friendzone rhetoric has done to her is powerful stuff. Read it here. And, be sure to check out this thoughtful response to a guy who claimed he was "friendzoned" on Scarleteen.

Looking for a therapist who understands intersectionality and oppression? The Establishment has this great little resource to get you asking potential therapists questions that might reveal whether they're a good fit for you or not.

KinkyCarl wrote in because he wants to explore submission, but has trouble opening up to his wife about the depth of his desires. How can he explore submission for himself and bring her along, too?

DNA wrote in sharing some thoughts about dating people in larger bodies, and that brings me to some thoughts on desirability and ways we can open ourselves to so much more love and friendship.

If you haven't seen Nanette by Hannah Gadsby yet, GET THEE TO NETFLIX and watch it immediately. I share my thoughts about one particular part of her show - the predatory Lolita stories we've ignored and accepted by men in the arts and positions of power. Not. Any. More.

Would you like to support the show? Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast - you can support for as little as $1. Folks who support at $3 get bonus content every week and if you pledge $5, you get to help me answer listener questions. This week's bonus? A powerful question that cracked a lot of people open as well as some thoughts about what you might be ready to let go of.  Check it out.

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram.

About Host Dawn Serra:

What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives.

In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence.

It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_224.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 2:18pm EDT

Do you struggle to say no without over-explaining? Do you feel hurt when people you love set boundaries that disappoint you? Are you looking for ways to stop apologizing and to start taking up more space? Well, Take Up Space, my online boundaries workshop, is now available on demand. Grab your spot today

Dating. Sex. Boundaries. Fat bodies. Virgie Tovar must be here!

Virgie Tovar always makes me think and this chat is no exception. Holy smokes I love Virgie's brain, and she is going to take us into some BIG feels.

Let's talk about dating while fat. Let's talk about misogyny and sexism. Let's talk about access to pleasure and delighting in our bodies.

Let's explore the ways diets and dieting impact our ability to say yes and no in bed and in relationships.

Virgie has a new book about to hit shelves and it is small but VERY mighty in scope, so be sure to check it out courtesy of Feminist Press.

Patreon supporters - If you support the show at the $3 level and above, I read a few paragraphs from Virgie's new book all about sexual labor and boundaries for fat folks as well as the submission that comes with thinness and women. Plus, some very excited thoughts about the conference I just attended.

Listen and support the show at patreon.com/sgrpodcast

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

About Virgie Tovar:

Virgie Tovar is an author, activist and one of the nation's leading experts and lecturers on fat discrimination and body image. She is the founder of Babecamp, a 4-week online course designed to help women who are ready to break up with diet culture, and started the hashtag campaign #LoseHateNotWeight. She has been featured by the New York Times, Al Jazeera, NPR, Tech Insider and Self Magazine. Find her online at www.virgietovar.com and also on Facebook and Instagram.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_223.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

Do you struggle to say no without over-explaining? Do you feel hurt when people you love set boundaries that disappoint you? Are you looking for ways to stop apologizing and to start taking up more space? Well, Take Up Space, my online boundaries workshop, is now available on demand. Grab your spot today

Body trust, queer identity, pleasure in a fat body, and losing attraction for a partner with Sarah Thompson

In a few days, I head to Portland for the ASDAH (Association for Size Diversity and Health) conference which will happen over my birthday weekend. The next few weeks will be all about body trust, rejecting diet culture, research around health at every size, celebration, and fat acceptance.

I could not be more tickled, especially because this week Sarah Thompson, the Resilient Fat Goddess, is joining us to talk about how everything changed for Sarah - access to pleasure, setting boundaries, shifting into new queer and non-binary identities - after doing body trust work with BeNourished.

Sarah and I initially connected because of a new blog post Sarah put out to partners who no longer find their partner's attractive, especially after that partner has rejected diet culture and moved towards body acceptance. You can read it here.

So, we talk all about bodies, why we never owe our partners sex or attractiveness, trust, fat identity, queer identity, and all the feelings that brings up.

Plus, before my chat with Sarah, you get to hear Patreon supporters' responses to two listener questions. That's right - advice from YOU, the podcast supporters. If you support the show at $5 and above, you get to weigh in and share your advice in response to listener questions that I post.

Patreon supporters - If you support the show at the $3 level and above, Sarah shares how a religious upbringing, growing up in a small town, dealing with fat bias, and living with an eating disorder kept Sarah from understanding their queer and non-binary identity until very recently.

Listen and support the show at http://patreon.com/sexgetsreal

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

This episode is generously brought to you by:

Huge thanks to Sex Gets Real sponsor of the week, TomboyX - gender-neutral, fat-inclusive, eco-friendly undies for all of us. Listeners get 15% off with code SEXGETSREAL.

About Sarah Thompson:

Sarah Thompson is an eating disorder recovery coach, consultant, and writer focused on body liberation, fat liberation, and body positivity. Sarah is a white, fat, queer, non-binary femme. Their writing combines ideas from a wide range of philosophies - Body Trust®, Health at Every Size®, Intuitive Eating, Fat Liberation, eating disorder recovery, harm reduction, and more. Being committed to helping others finding more freedom and compassion in their lives is what led them to become a Certified Body Trust Provider. They were also the co-creator of Do No Harm Podcast. Sarah is constantly wondering how they can contribute to healing, justice, and liberation in our world where there is constant suffering. They love working with people who are asking these same questions!

Stay in touch with Sarah at resilientfatgoddess.com and on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter @rslntfatgoddess.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_222.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

Do you struggle to say no without over-explaining? Do you feel hurt when people you love set boundaries that disappoint you? Are you looking for ways to stop apologizing and to start taking up more space? Well, Take Up Space, my online boundaries workshop, is now available on demand. Grab your spot today

Radical love, resilient community, and never being discarded with Andy Izenson

I am so excited by this week's chat with Andy Izenson. I first saw Andy speak several years ago at a closing panel for Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit, and I was in awe. You'll see why when you tune into our rich conversation.

After reaching out to Andy, asking if they'd like to talk about restorative and transformative justice as well as building resilient communities on the show, Andy also said they were thinking a lot about:

-- the way orthodoxies of capitalism and scarcity infuse polyamorous community// polyamory should be inherently anti-capitalist
-- the way the state is conspiring with your trauma
-- disposability and anxiety and the fiction of moral purity
-- resilience and bravery in sex and relationships
-- what even is masculinity anyway

RIGHT?!?!

So, on this week's show, we talk about alternative justice, healing, building resilient relationships and communities, letting go of the fantasy of safety and why there are no good people, plus, we explore the power of anger, question what even is masculinity, and feel moved that the kids really will be alright.

Patreon supporters - If you support the show at the $3 level and above, Andy and I recorded a bonus chat all about polyamory and how capitalism infuses so much of how folks approach polyamory (especially lots of cis dudes). We talk about generosity and hierarchy and abundance, and why polyamory needs to be much more than just where you're getting your dick (or other bits) wet, as fun as that might be. Listen and support the show at http://patreon.com/sexgetsreal

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

This episode is generously brought to you by:

TomboyX - get 15% off your order at tomboyx.com/sexgetsreal with promo code SEXGETSREAL. And check out their drool-worthy Instagram.

Sugar Bear Hair - get your tasty hair vitamins at sugarbearhair.com/sgr

About Andy Izenson:

Andy Izenson is an attorney with Diana Adams Law & Mediation, PLLC, and is a collaborative practitioner, mediator, and passionate advocate, working to reframe conflict through a compassionate and transformative lens. As a member of the National LGBT Bar Association’s Family Law Institute and the National Lawyers Guild NYC Chapter Executive Committee, Andy is tirelessly committed to support for queer community and families as well as to a radical, anti-assimilationist politic.

You can find Andy on Twitter @AndyEyeballs, join the Diana Adams Law newsletter, or email Andy about speaking at your institution at andy.izenson at gmail dot com.

Direct download: Episode_221.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

Are you ready to sign up for Take Up Space, my online boundaries workshop? Grab your spot today for just $37. Ten lessons, ten worksheets, a lifetime of shifting how you feel about boundaries.

A passionate lover. Body trust. Trans sex woes. Self-harm scars.

Hello from Portland! I am here for BeNourished's Reclaiming Body Trust Intensive and it is hitting me hard. I'm still processing so much, and while I talk about the experience a bit this week on the show, I have some REALLY JUICY TIDBITS about trauma, bodies, trust, and healing in the Patreon bonus for the week. If you support the show at $3 and above, you get access to this truly special bonus and all the other bonuses, too. Check it out.

A huge thank you to the two generous sponsors of this week's episode:

TomboyX is gender-neutral, size-inclusive, eco-friendly undies and listeners get 15% off! How? Head to tomboyx.com/sexgetsreal and then use code SEXGETSREAL at check-out for 15% off. THIS COMPANY IS JOY. More please.

Sugar Bear Hair is a delicious hair vitamin that's vegetarian, packed with hair-healthy vitamins, and is allergen free. Want to check it out? Please do - it helps the show. Head to sugarbearhair.com/sgr.

So, what questions am I fielding this week?

PassionateLover shares a story of a new delicious lover who is pleasing her in the most unexpected and hot ways. Yay for folks in bigger bodies finding appreciative and generous lovers!

May has self-harm scars on her body and she wants to know when to bring it up with new partners and how. Is it a first date conversation? Is it something to hold off on? What if they realize she lied about more visible scars?

While I'm not a self-harm expert, I do have some thoughts about how May can tend to herself and be transparent when it feels good for her. Because we never owe someone our medical history and setting boundaries around that is OK.

Ellis has 99 problems and maybe being a transman is one of them. Why are the cis women Ellis is seeing not interested in penetration but then leave Ellis to be in a relationship with a cis dude? Is it bad luck? Is it something else?

Let's explore it.

Finally, Lala wants to know if I miss sleeping with women. Curious to know the answer? Tune in for more.

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram.

About Host Dawn Serra:

What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives.

In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence.

It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_220.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT

Are you ready to sign up for Take Up Space, my online boundaries workshop? Grab your spot today for just $37. Ten lessons, ten worksheets, a lifetime of shifting how you feel about boundaries.

Intersex-inclusive language. Resentment in relationships. Questions from YOU!

I am loving answering your questions this summer, and I'm so glad I'm getting a chance to get caught up on the backlog.

Resentment is something that comes up a lot in my coaching practice. People tend to harbor all kinds of resentment without realizing it. A friend recently posted that whenever she feels resentment come up she asks herself, what aren't you saying? 

And it's true - resentment breeds in the spaces where we silence ourselves, where are aren't witnessed and understood or heard and validated. When you're tolerating something, it's the launching pad for resentment. As soon as we stop being generous towards the people in our life, as soon as the little things they've always done start to irritate us or we get passive aggressive, resentment has shown up.

I also wanted to share this AWESOME resource by Interact about intersex-inclusive language. I share a few excerpts on the show, but if you'd like the entire document you can find it here. I also recommend checking out 4intersex.org for more resources on intersex issues and inclusion. Intersex folks are as common as redheads, so we all need to level-up in this space.

Enrique wrote in wondering what cis means and asked for a definition. 

Anonymous wrote in because her boyfriend asks her every single day for anal sex, or at a minimum, hounds her for intercourse as soon as she gets home. The problem is anal sex hurts her badly, she experiences vaginal tearing when they have intercourse, and she wants to cry and avoid going home because of it all. They were each other's firsts and she feels broken. What can she do?

I have big thoughts and big feelings on this one because too many men treat their partners like sex vending machines that owe them access to their bodies in exchange for being in relationship with them. That has got to stop. Sex should never be painful (unless it's intentional and mutually agreed up). Our bodies should tear. We shouldn't fear sex. Lots of thoughts on this one.

Kate wrote in wanting help getting her husband to unpack his fatphobia. After many years together, all of which she's been in a fat body, he recently said some hurtful stuff about her fat body. She is super clear that her body is NOT the problem, which makes my  heart endlessly happy. But what can she do to help him work through the fat shaming?

Truthfully, I think the issue is not at all her body and that he's got something else going on he can't express. That said, we can't make folks change their stories no matter how much we want them to. He has to want it deeply for himself. Tune in for my suggestions for Kate, including Sarah Thompson's blog post which comes out in mid-July 2018 about this very topic. Check it out at resilientfatgoddess.com.

Patreon supporters - I got a new sexy consent game called Consentacle. It's about a human and a tentacled alien finding ways to build trust and engage in mutually satisfying sex. I tried it a few times and share my thoughts, plus a little excerpt from Dr. Lori Brotto's new book on mindfulness and women's desire. Tune in to this week's bonus (and all of the other weekly bonuses) at http://patreon.com/sexgetsreal when you support at $3 and above!

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram.
 

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_219.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 3:41pm EDT

Do you struggle to say no without over-explaining? Do you feel hurt when people you love set boundaries that disappoint you? Are you looking for ways to stop apologizing and to start taking up more space? Take Up Space, my online boundaries workshop, is now available on demand. Grab your spot today for just $37. Ten lessons, ten worksheets, a lifetime of shifting how you feel about boundaries.

Tender masculinity, condom expirations, and your questions answered.

I recently came across an article called "In Praise of Tender Masculinity, the New Non-Toxic Way to Be a Man" by terra loire. You know I adore examining the ways gender show up in pop culture and the stories it teaches all of us about how to live our lives - who is failing and who is succeeding. I really love this language around tender masculinity.

So, I share a few tidbits from the article, talk about cultural expectations of toxic masculinity, and invite YOU to share with me other examples of tender masculinity similar to Samwise Gamgee, Rumus Lupin, and Magic Mike XXL. YES, MAGIC MIKE XXL.

A recent conversation came up in my circle about condom expiration dates, and I thought it might be an important thing to share with you, so let's talk about expiration dates and proper condom handling. TREAT YOUR CONDOMS WITH CARE!

Then it's on to listener questions.

Artemis is a trans woman Domme who loves being penetrated, but her submissive just doesn't like doing the penetration because it doesn't feel submissive. What can Artemis do?

I share some thoughts, and recommend going through The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy with her sub to find some middle ground. Plus, Sinclair Sexsmith's Submissive's Playground online course is a must.

Kat wrote in because she keeps seeing people in porn get fucked in the ass and then immediately sucking on the cock that was in their ass. Is it safe? Should you really do that?

Anonymous can't stop fantasizing about pegging her partner, but he has said no. Does she live with the fantasy or does she take action and find a way to peg someone else?

Wonderer is having wonderful sex with a larger dude, and they are looking for more sexual positions that are big body friendly. I cannot recommend Elle Chase's "Curvy Girl Sex" highly enough, plus Hanne Blank's "Big, Big Love" as starting points.

Patreon supporters - This week we are exploring the cult of pussy eaters and how pussy eating is treated by so many men as a MUST DO when so few vulva owners actually get off that way. It stems from a conversation I had with a friend and it made me refer back to this awesome article about the horror of dudes who insist on eating you out. Hear my thoughts (and all of the other weekly bonuses) at http://patreon.com/sexgetsreal when you support at $3 and above!

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram.
 

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_218.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 8:00am EDT

Do you struggle to say no without over-explaining? Do you feel hurt when people you love set boundaries that disappoint you? Are you looking for ways to stop apologizing and to start taking up more space? Well, Take Up Space, my online boundaries workshop, is now available on demand. Grab your spot today

Nadine is saving comprehensive sex ed

Ontario Canada recently elected a conservative leader named Doug Ford. One of his campaign promises is to roll back the comprehensive sex education program for Ontario schools.

Nadine refuses to let that happen, so she decided to do something about it. Check out her Go Fund Me campaign and donate here.

We talk all about what's in the comprehensive sex ed program and why life-long sex and relationship education is so crucial. What scares people and why do people want to roll it back?

We also talk about why it's important for kids to see adults mess up and do things awkwardly, plus we answer an amazing listener question from Kip about teaching her brother about sex when their parents are fans of abstinence only.

Queer the sex talks! GO KIP!

Patreon supporters - If you support the show at the $3 level and above, you can listen to this week's bonus all about the Bloomberg Businessweek piece on OneTaste and Orgasmic Meditation plus I read some fun erotica by Rachel Kramer Bussel. patreon.com/sgrpodcast

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

About Nadine Thornhill:

Nadine Thornhill has been helping families and educators talk to kids about sex for over a decade. She has a Doctor of Education in Child and Adolescent Sexuality and is a member of The Sexuality and Information Council of Canada. When she’s not working, Nadine enjoys adventures in the city with her husband and son, off-key crooning at karaoke, eating great food and watching reality television.

You can find Nadine at NadineThornhill.com. She’s also on Twitter @NadineThornhill and YouTube with awesome videos.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_217.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 1:09pm EDT

Heard about it on the show? The Sex Map game is just $9 and can be purchased here.

Your questions. Answered.

Katie has a new fat fling. She really likes him, but he talks about diets and weight loss a lot. She's been learning about diet culture, health at every size, and fact activism, so she needs help on how to set some boundaries with him to prevent discussions about the very things she's trying to overcome.

Loving Husband has lost his sex drive. On top of that, his wife only wants sex in the missionary position, and he feels so bored and uninspired by the sex they do have. Could that have an impact on his sex drive? And how can he talk to his wife about making things more interesting?

A listener from a previous episode was very angry with my response and sent several angry, pissy emails to me as a result. So I take a few minutes to talk about my process and how grateful I am for the generosity and kindness most of you extend to me.

Jake's girlfriend thinks masturbation and porn constitute cheating. But Jake really loves masturbating and he doesn't know how to talk her about his desire to have a sexual relationship with himself. Is it cheating? And what does he need to do to set their pending marriage up for success?

AnaBanana was ghosted, but not before the guy who ghosted her kept a bunch of her BDSM toys. She's asked for them back and hasn't gotten a response. Should she keep pursuing them or are they a lost cause?

Patreon supporters - I dive into the recent story of Chloe Dykstra coming out about the emotional and sexual abuse her ex Chris Hardwick subjected her to, plus some of the responses nerd culture is having to the story. Hear my thoughts (and all of the other weekly bonuses) at patreon.com/sgrpodcast when you support at $3 and above!

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram.

About Host Dawn Serra:

What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives.

In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence.

It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

  1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
  2. Check us out on Stitcher
  3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
  4. Pop over to Google Play
  5. Use the player at the top of this page.
  6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
  7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)

Direct download: Episode_216.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EDT