Sun, 26 March 2017
If you missed the Explore More Summit, you can still grab all of the talks for as little as $1.20 each plus loads of bonus materials. This weekend I am in San Francisco attending Madison Young's Erotic Film School. I'm learning how to make porn. YAY! If you want to see some of the behind the scenes pictures and videos of Andre Shakti and James Darling, all Patreon supporters at $1 or more will have access. It was fun to be the director and to actually see ethical porn being made in this rich, collaborative space. I also field listener emails this week since I'm on the road. First, a listener wants to share his experience watching trans and pegging porn after Lauren from last week's episode shared her concerns around porn. Then, Mona wants help shopping for some kegel exercisers. What's best? Dawn shares a story of her ben wa balls gone wrong. Scarlett Grace has a friend that she used to play with sexually with her husband, but Scarlett's friend is now super promiscuous and Scarlett doesn't want to have sex with her friend anymore. How can she tell her friend she's worried about her safety and why she doesn't want to play anymore? Delilah wrote in because she's in her first lesbian relationship and she wants tricks for making her girlfriend happy. So, how do you learn lesbian sex? What tricks and tips do I have? Long-time listeners will already know my answer to this. At a minimum, be sure to check out Allison Moon's, "Girl Sex 101" book. Ben is young and in love, but he and his girlfriend don't have much in common and he wants to have loads more sexual experiences. What should he do? Finally, Leah wants to know - how do polyamorous folks avoid town gossips and people talking about their affairs? I have lots of thoughts because there are so many possible situations to navigate. Also, check out Franklin Veaux's "More Than Two" or Tristan Taormino's "Opening Up" for more information on living in a non-monogamous situation. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.About Dawn SerraSex is a social skill. I speak it. I write it. I teach it. I help you learn how to develop it. I am the creator and host of the laughter-filled, no-holds-barred weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real. I lecture at colleges and universities on sex and relationships, too. When I'm not speaking and teaching, I also work one-on-one with clients who need to get unstuck around their pleasure and desire. But it's not all work! In my downtime, I can often be found watching an episode of Masterchef Australia, cooking up something delicious, or adventuring with my sexy AF husband. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
Hearing from you is the bestContact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) |
Sun, 19 March 2017
Reid Mihalko is here this week and our conversation goes deep. We start by geeking out over Reid's latest adventures into anti-oppression work, learning about emotional labor as a cis white guy, and he even tears up over just how important it is for dudes to level up in these spaces, even if it's just 10 or 20%. Then, we dive into listener emails. First, Lauren writes in wanting to know if her recent interest in lesbian porn means her sexual orientation is changing. Is she no longer straight? Jenny needs some advice around polyamory. Her and her partner have discussed it, but Jenny isn't feeling like her needs are getting met and their communication isn't great. Reid's advice around poly is beautiful and gives all of us - in any relationship style - tons to think about. Finally, Riffle needs help navigating a threesome with his fiance. Riffle wants their third to be a stranger, but Riffle's partner wants it to be someone they Reid. Reid, certainly a threesome expert, lets his wisdom shine with some awesome advice. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.About Reid MihalkoAmerica’s favorite sex geek, Reid Mihalko of ReidAboutSex.com and Sex10xOnline.com helps adults and college students create more self-esteem, self-confidence and greater health and satisfaction in and out of the bedroom using an inspiring mixture of humor, keen insight, and comprehensive sexual health information. Reid appeals to audiences of all orientations, backgrounds, ages and identities. He’s one of the only male sex and relationship experts touring the country today who can speak pragmatically to nearly all areas of sexual self-expression, intimacy, dating and relating. Reid’s mission is to give men and women new tools to transform their love lives into fulfilling, satisfying, and sustainable expressions of self. Stay in touch with Reid on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
Hearing from you is the bestContact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) |
Sun, 12 March 2017
I am eyeball deep in the Explore More Summit. Day 5 is unfolding today (March 12th) and you can sign-up for the Explore More Summit here. It's free and goes until March 17th. Anyway, because I'm so busy summitting, today is a hit it and quit it. First, I rant about a new piece of wearable technology that tracks penis thrusts and calories for condom wearers. Or, in other words, it is all about measuring all the wrong things and promotes bad sex - NOT sex that is about pleasure and communication. So terrible and frustrating. Then, I share a listener confession about being raped and healing from that rape with an erotic dream. If you're a survivor, be gentle with yourself around this story. The final question is from a young listener about being in a new relationship and feeling too excited to sleep. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.About Dawn SerraSex is a social skill. I speak it. I write it. I teach it. I help you learn how to develop it. I am the creator and host of the laughter-filled, no-holds-barred weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real. I lecture at colleges and universities on sex and relationships, too. When I'm not speaking and teaching, I also work one-on-one with clients who need to get unstuck around their pleasure and desire. But it's not all work! In my downtime, I can often be found watching an episode of Masterchef Australia, cooking up something delicious, or adventuring with my sexy AF husband. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
Hearing from you is the bestContact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) |
Sun, 5 March 2017
It's a very special episode this week because you are getting to hear exclusive, never before heard clips from nine of the Explore More Summit talks. You'll hear from Tristan Taormino, Allison Moon, Virgie Tovar, Melissa Toler, Dirty Lola of Sex Ed a Go Go, Cyndi Darnell, Betty Martin, Aida Manduley, and Orpheus Black. I also field listener questions on pussy slapping, pegging problems when your guy is 14 inches taller than you, foursomes where erections never happened, and ethical porn. It's a packed week of goodies and advice. Be sure to sign-up for the Explore More Summit. It starts March 8th and it's FREE. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.About Dawn SerraSex is a social skill. I speak it. I write it. I teach it. I help you learn how to develop it. I am the creator and host of the laughter-filled, no-holds-barred weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real. I lecture at colleges and universities on sex and relationships, too. When I'm not speaking and teaching, I also work one-on-one with clients who need to get unstuck around their pleasure and desire. But it's not all work! In my downtime, I can often be found watching an episode of Masterchef Australia, cooking up something delicious, or adventuring with my sexy AF husband. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
Hearing from you is the bestContact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) |
Sun, 26 February 2017
Enrollment for the 2017 Explore More Summit is OFFICIALLY open. The summit is free, runs for ten days, and features interviews with 30 incredible thought-leaders. You can sign-up at exploremoresummit.com. It all starts March 8th, 2017. This week, Madison Young is here to talk all about porn, submission, motherhood and sex, and her Erotic Film School, which I'm attending in a few weeks. Madison has had the unique and powerful opportunity to document so much of her sexual journey and personal stories on film, thanks to porn. And now, she is hard at work writing books on submission and BDSM, DIY porn, and parenthood. We roll around in all of the things she's learned and experienced, plus we share our struggles as people who have trouble prioritizing self-care (which many of you can relate to). Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.Resources mentioned in this episode"Daddy: A Memoir" by Madison Young "DIY Porn Handbook: A How-To Guide to Documenting Our Own Sexual Revolution" by Madison Young About Madison YoungMadison Young is an artist and activist dedicated to creating space for revolutionary love. This body-based performance artist grew up in the suburban landscape of Southern Ohio before moving to San Francisco in 2000. Since then this Midwestern gal has dedicated her days to facilitating safe space to dialogue on the topic of fringe identities and cultures as well as documenting healthy expression of sexuality. Young’s breadth of work, in the realm of her artistic manifestations, intersects the fields of sexuality, identity, and pornography. Her work spans from documenting our sexual culture in her Internationally screened and award-winning feminist erotic films to having served as the Artistic Director of the forward-thinking nonprofit arts organization Femina Potens Art Gallery for over a decade. Young has exhibited Internationally with her performance art, video art installations, and photography. Young values sexual freedom and self expression of queer identity in her work and has taught workshops, lectures, and acted as a panelist on the topics of sexuality, feminist porn studies, the politics of BDSM and queering the body with in the arena of performance art, at institutions including at Yale University, Hampshire College, Northwestern University, University of Toronto, University of Minnesota, and UC Berkeley. Her memoir, Daddy, was published in February 2014 through Rare Bird. Madison Young lives and creates work in Berkeley, California where she recently completed her second book The DIY Porn Handbook: Documenting Our Own Sexual Revolution (Greenery Press). Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
Hearing from you is the bestContact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) |
Sun, 19 February 2017
This episode is sponsored by HotelsByDay. Save 5% with code SGR5off.Enrollment for the 2017 Explore More Summit is OFFICIALLY open. The summit is free, runs for ten days, and features interviews with SOO many incredible thought-leaders. You can sign-up at exploremoresummit.com. It's been incredible creating these talks, so I hope you'll check it out. It all starts March 8th, 2017. This week, I'm so excited that Matie Fricker and Hunter Riley from Self Serve Sexuality Resource Center are here. We talk about community sex education, sex toy testing fatigue, and how they make their sex store welcoming and empowering. Matie goes deep into toxic toys and what happened when they gave customers a choice between toxic and non-toxic toys. Plus, their testers have to fill out an 8-page survey about each and every product the store carries. We also dive into bad sex toy design, the ONE product that Matie has been searching for for 10 years and has not found a decent one, orgasm stuckness and toy loyalty and why that can inhibit pleasure, and my frustration with sex classes... why do blowjob classes consistently sell out at stores across the country but not cunnilingus classes? Yeah. Let's name it.
Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.Resources mentioned in this episodeHunter's blog post all about the drama at UNM's sex week That Travel & Leisure article on hotel sex that I mentioned in the intro. About Matie FrickerMatie Fricker is a smut peddling sweetheart with a deep love for the odd and tender. She owns Albuquerque’s best sex shop, Self Serve Toys. Self Serve is a shiny bubble of love and safety for those seeking pleasure and joy in their lives. One of her proudest accomplishments was causing Rush Limbaugh to say “female orgasm” on-air multiple times. Matie has been awarded the 2008 Tough Cookie Award from the National Association for Women Business Owners, Best Sexy Shop in ABQ’s Alibi Weekly Newspaper for 9 years and Albuquerque Pride’s Outstanding Retail Store Award. About Hunter RileyHunter Riley is the manager of operations and outreach at Self Serve, a sex educator, speaker and social media maven. She helps young adults find their voice and comfort level around conversations about sex and sexuality. After earning degrees in psychology, Spanish and journalism, she moved on to teaching classes in English and Spanish about pleasure, sex toys, communication, safer sex, consent, oral sex, kink, non-monogamy, birth control and more! She has authored several sex columns for newspapers and online media outlets in New Mexico including the Daily Lobo, the Santa Fe Reporter and Albuquerque Free Press. She has partnered with organizations like Planned Parenthood, the University of New Mexico, UNM Hospital, Enlace Comunitario, Santa Fe Care Center and more. Anyone interested in hiring Hunter or learning more about the services she provides can contact Hunter via email: hunter@selfservetoys.com for more information. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
Hearing from you is the bestContact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) |
Sun, 12 February 2017
This episode is sponsored by HotelsByDay. Save 5% with code SGR5off.You are the first in the world to know that enrollment for the 2017 Explore More Summit is OFFICIALLY open. The summit is free, runs for ten days, and features interviews with SOO many incredible thought-leaders. You can sign-up at exploremoresummit.com. It's been incredible creating these talks, so I hope you'll check it out. It all starts March 8th, 2017. And... Because I've been conducting so so so many intense, deep interviews, I wanted to take a break and make this week nice and easy - you and me, powering through a ton of listener emails and keeping it casual and intimate. So, what are we talking about this week? Mike ALWAYS gives his wife an orgasm and the last three times they've had sex, she hasn't cum. Will it happen again? What can he do? Deb is a bottom but her husband wants her to top him sometimes. Can she find a way to enjoy being dominant? Ali wants more information on how people become strippers. I'm not a sex worker, so I can't speak to this, but I do reflect on some previous conversations with folks like Andre Shakti, Madison Young, Kitty Stryker. Big Vulva wrote in about how she feels about the way her labia look and it's wonderful. Plus, I get called out for an ageist comment, someone wants to know how common CFNM fantasties are, Mary wonders about whether anal sex will ever feel good for her, and can a porn addict husband be trusted to watch porn with his wife?
Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.Resources from this episodeErika Lust's EroticFilms.com is a great place to find loads of feminist, ethical erotic films. (I'm an affiliate, too!) Siouxsie Q's podcast, The Whorecast, which is all sex workers talking about their stories, experiences, and issues. Check out my Anal 101 online workshop. Tristan Taormino's "The Ultimate Guide to Kink" which includes an awesome essay by Midori on FemDomme, female domination and how to get started. ForteFemme.com - Midori's website for her weekend intensive on female domination Midori's Facebook Live video on female domination. Check it out on Vimeo. About Dawn SerraIn a world hellbent on making us feel like we aren't enough, Dawn Serra is on a mission to rewrite the stories we're told about sex, relationships, and our bodies. Dawn is the creator and host of the laughter-filled, no-holds-barred weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real. She also teaches adult sex ed workshops online and in person, and works one-on-one with clients who need to get unstuck around their pleasure and desire. When she's not podcasting, lecturing, or writing about all of the ways we relate to each other, Dawn can often be found watching an episode of Hoarders, cooking up something delicious, or adventuring with her husband. Dawn's epic Explore More Summit is unfolding again now. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
Hearing from you is the bestContact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) |
Sun, 5 February 2017
This episode is sponsored by HotelsByDay. Save 5% with code SGR5off.Elle Chase is back, which delights me to no end (though, I'm wrong in the episode - Kate McCombs was the first repeat guest!). I adore this chat despite some audio issues, because we get so personal - sharing sex stories and awkward moments and keeping sex so very real, especially for folks who are fat and curvy. Her brand new book, Curvy Girl Sex, just hit stores, and of course, I use her beautifully curated LadyCheeky.com anytime I want to turn myself or my sweetie on. Rawr. So, here we are talking fat tummies and fat butts and bad backs and awkward sex noises and all the glory of anything-but-elegant sex.
About Elle ChaseSex educator and sexuality and body image coach Elle Chase, is a graduate of the comprehensive San Francisco Sex Information, Sex Educator Training Program and a member of the American College of Sexologists. Elle also serves as the Director of Education & Lead Sex Educator at the Los Angeles Academy of Sex Education, which offers pleasure inclusive classes, on sexuality, gender, sexual health and sexual lifestyles. She is also the author of “Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower your Sex Life,” from Fair Winds Press and as her alter ego Lady Cheeky, is the editor of the smash hit (very) adult coloring book, the #NSFW Totally Naughty Coloring Book by SheVibe.com. Elle is also the creator, curator & editor of two award-winning and highly trafficked sexuality websites, www.LadyCheeky.com (NSFW) which has been named as the number one site for porn for women, and its companion editorial site www.SmutForSmarties.com which has been L.A. Weekly’s choice for ‘Best Sex Blog’ since 2013. Follow Elle on Twitter @TheElleChase and @LadyCheeky (NSFW). Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. Hearing from you is the bestContact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) |
Sun, 29 January 2017
This episode is sponsored by HotelsByDay. Save 5% with code SGR5off.Patreons who support with just $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly bonus content, too. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sgrpodcast Sometimes, you luck into an incredible opportunity. That happened to me when I heard Mariya Karimjee's story on The Heart or This American Life. It's about her experience with female genital mutilation and having part of her clitoris removed when she was a young girl. I reached out to Mariya and invited her on the show to talk about being an FGM survivor, what it's been like in her life since her story went global, and she also brings some voices of other survivors to share with us. We talk about Muslim women, sex, changing relationships with our parents, patriarchy, and the importance of sex education. It's an important conversation that I hope you'll enjoy. I know I did. Resources discussed in this episodeMariya's episode on The Heart podcast Mariya's story on This American Life Additional voices on FGM"I’ve asked your mother many times since this occurred, why an educated woman who resides in a country where this is illegal subjected her daughter to this practice? I never received a valid reason. Simply saying that “it’s in our religion” is not a good enough answer for me to accept that my daughter went through this." Anonymous father "I had started to understand the terrifying implications of the practice which differed from person to person and the physical and mental trauma some of my own sisters and close friends had to go through, and are still going through. I also came across many justifications for the practice, some from my family elders which went along the lines of, 'This is done to curb a girl’s sexual desire so that she can put her mind to other things', among many others." Insia Jaliwala "It may have been just a pinch of skin, but it was a part of me, a part of my femininity and a part of my womanhood." Mariya Ali "I also don’t know whether girls from other communities enjoy better sex or not. There have been many reports about this that I am unsure of. There is actually a lot of vagueness on this topic that I would like to have some clarification on." Ummehani, from India "One of my main insecurities about sex was that I felt like I was driving without the headlights on. Often times, I didn’t know where to go or how to guide my driver. I felt like a failure. To this day, I still have not experienced orgasm. While sex is enjoyable for me and I could describe what I can achieve as a “mini-climax”, I am bothered by the fact that I may never get to experience this wonderful part of life. While it’s no secret many women who have not been “circumcised” struggle with the same issues, a part of me will always wonder if that would have been true for me had this not happened. I will never know." Anonymous "For the record, I have never been mutilated. I am not traumatized, damaged, or broken. Yes, something unfortunate happened to me that I wish had not; but I do not want to be labeled a survivor. Personally, I feel the word is inappropriate to my situation because my life was never at risk. What I do want is to live in a world where what happened to me no longer happens to others. The reason I want this is because although I have come to forgive my loved ones, accept what has happened to me, and move past the trauma, not everyone who has undergone khatna has been so fortunate." Anonymous, age 30 About Mariya KarimjeeMariya Karimjee is a freelance writer based in Karachi, Pakistan. She's currently working on a memoir about home and identity to be published by Spiegel and Grau. You can learn more at MariyaKarimjee.com, and follow along with her adventures on Twitter @m_karimjee and Instagram. Be sure to also check out Sahiyo for more information and voices/quotes from survivors and people impacted by FGM. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. Hearing from you is the bestContact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) |
Sun, 22 January 2017
This episode is sponsored by HotelsByDay. Save 5% with code SGR5off.Patreons who support with just $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly bonus content, too. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sgrpodcast This week there are two listener confessions - one at the beginning of the episode and another at the end after the interview. And who am I chatting with this week? The incredible Erika Lust about being an erotic filmmaker, the porn industry, evoking powerful performances from her actors, and her new non-profit helping parents to talk about porn with their kids. Of all the erotic filmmakers doing ethical porn in the world, Erika's videos are some of the most arousing for me. I adore the humor and shamelessness of her stories. She seamlessly incorporates beauty, eroticism, and playfulness into each and every video in a way that I find endlessly delicious. So here is me, geeking out over getting to chat with someone I deeply admire. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.Resources discussed in this episodeErika's IKEA video, which is very funny, is in the XConfessions Volume 1 set. About Erika LustErika Lust is a filmmaker, mother, writer, blogger, owner and founder of Erika Lust Films where she offers an alternative to the mainstream porn industry. She is also the creator of groundbreaking audiovisual project XConfessions.com, the first crowdsourced series that brought adult film to cinema screens. Born in 1977 in Sweden, she studied political sciences, feminism and sexuality at the University of Lund. Tired of chauvinistic and tacky mainstream porn, she moved to Barcelona in 2000 where she took classes in film directing before bursting into the adult industry in 2004, with the indie short film The Good Girl - a humorous statement of principles using the “pizza delivery boy” trope. The immediate success of this first attempt encouraged her to pursue a career in adult cinema. Erika has directed four multi-award winning features: “Five Hot Stories For Her”, “Barcelona Sex Project”, “Life Love Lust” and “Caberet Desire”, and has also written five books including “Let’s Make A Porno” and her acclaimed erotic novel “La Canción de Nora” (“Nora’s Song”). In 2013 Erika began the XConfessions series, a site where users watch short films based on their own anonymous sexual confessions. Every month Erika Lust picks two of her followers’ fantasies and turns them into erotic explicit short films. Now in it’s third year, Erika has filmed over 100 short films, released XConfessions seventh volume and has now invited guest directors to be part of the project, supporting the burgeoning alternative talent across the globe. In 2015, she gave her “It’s Time for Porn to Change” talk at TEDxVienna which gained her notoriety for her campaign to change porn. Erika’s philosophy for a new adult cinema is based on 4 main ideas: women’s pleasure matters, adult cinema can have cinematic values, we need more body types, different ages and diverse races and the production process has to be ethical. She defends the importance of the female gaze and the need of having women behind the camera in all key positions. Erika lives in Barcelona with her partner and husband Pablo and their two daughters, Lara and Liv. You can also see Erika's new project bringing together erotic filmmakers at eroticfilms.com and her non-profit helping parents talk to their kids about porn at thepornconversation.org. Want to connect on social media? Erika is on Twitter @erikalust and on Instagram. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
Hearing from you is the bestContact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) |
Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
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