Sun, 7 August 2016
There is something so delicious in talking about something that I have so little experience with. This week's chat with Princess Kali is just that - a fun, playful talk about erotic humiliation, objectification, mastering kink, and being a Dominatrix. It's rich, it's approachable, and it's terribly intriguing. Throughout the episode, Princess Kali drops truthbomb after truthbomb. I adore her story of how she got started as a stripper and Dominatrix. It's not often you find a woman who recognizes that men will be objectifying her simply because she's a woman, and so decides to make a profit off of that behavior. We dig into what humiliation is and why people crave it, how you can tap into your inner Dominant, and what happens when people stifle and ignore their deep sexual desires. Plus, tips for getting your submissive involved in scene planning! As Princess Kali says, kink is a team sport. I can't wait for you to hear this chat. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. Resources discussed in this episodeKinkAcademy.com - over 1400 educational videos on kink "Enough to Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation" About Princess KaliPrincess Kali takes her kink seriously and has spent over fourteen years exploring not only the how but the why of alternative lifestyles. Her experience working as a professional dominatrix has given her a unique understanding of the motivations behind erotic humiliation play as well as a passion for helping people participate in it more safely and enjoyably. Her dynamic and engaging style of presenting has been welcomed at more than 150 venues including kink events such as Dark Odyssey, Fetish Fair Fleamarket, Kink in the Caribbean, and IMsL as well as mainstream venues such as Harvard University and SXSW. Princess Kali is currently focusing on personal coaching and group workshops to help people safely discover their own style of kink with the benefit of her experience and guidance. Kali resides in the San Francisco area but travels often for workshops and events. You can also follower her on Twitter @princess_kali. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sun, 31 July 2016
It's just you and me this week. No guest. No interview. Just your questions and emails and me savoring every single one of them. We're talking transsexual fetish sex, pegging, exploring sex with a partner who is a rape survivor, what it means to be bad at sex, Hollywood myths about how sex should look, and ALL the ways to communicate with the folks we're fucking so that we can all be more successful in the sack. Psst...did you know you can follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook? It's true. Resources discussed in this episode"Radical Ecstasy" by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton SpareParts Joque harness - want one? I sell them. Contact me for details. Sex after rape. There's a great article here and here. About Dawn SerraFor those of you who have listened for awhile, you know more about my sex life than most people know about their partners, but I figured it was time for a little bio action. First, you can check out my sex & relationship coaching over at DawnSerra.com. You can follow me on Twitter @dawn_serra, on Facebook, and over on Instagram, too. Here's the official word: In a world that makes us feel like we aren’t enough, Dawn Serra is on a mission to rewrite the stories we’re told about sex, relationships, and our bodies. As a sex coach, sex educator, and fat-bodied trauma survivor, Dawn invites you to drop the shame, get curious, and explore sex on your terms, in whatever form that may take. Dawn is also the creator of the annual Explore More Summit. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sun, 24 July 2016
This week's chat is one of my favorites. Andre Shakti is an absolute delight. The first time I saw her in person at Sex Down South last year, I was in complete awe. She is this vibrant, powerful force to be reckoned with, and when she said she'd come on the show I was completely tickled. We dive into sex work, fetish wrestling, porn, and more. One of the things she mentions during our chat is how we do not have any resources in the world on how to be a good consumer of sex work or of porn. She draws an parallel between Julia Roberts and porn performers that is fantastic. Plus, we talk about the importance of letting go of goals in sex and instead, getting to know your body and celebrating what it's capable of, instead of obsessing over what you wish it could do. Psst...did you know you can follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook? It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. Resources discussed in this episodeViolet Blue and TinyNibbles.com - resources on ethically produced pornography About Andre ShaktiAndre Shakti is an educator, producer, activist, and professional slut devoted to normalizing alternative desires, de-stigmatizing sex workers and their clients, and not taking herself too seriously. She wrestles mediocre white men into submission and writes about sex work, queerness and non-monogamy for Cosmopolitan, Harlot, MEL, and more. She can frequently be found marathoning Law & Order: SVU under a chaotic pile of partners and pitbulls, and yes, she knows how problematic that show is. Follow Andre on Twitter @andreshakti and check out her super sexy website >AndreShaktiXXX.com (NSFW). Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sun, 17 July 2016
Body positivity is something I constantly bring up on the show - not only because it's an important part of my own story, but because I'm constantly getting questions from listeners about their own body shame and struggles. That's why I am so excited by this unapologetic and energizing look into pole dancing and burlesque with Kaila Prins. Not only did she use both to help her work through an eating disorder, but she has also discovered what it means to be embodied and to live in a deeply consensual place, as a result. From controlling the gaze of the audience to sharing what it's like to get naked on stage for the first time, we roll around in gender, safe spaces, embracing 'ugly' as a by-product of feeling empowered and attuned to your body, and so so much more. Psst...did you know you can follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook? It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. Resources discussed in this episodeStripcast: True Stories of a Stripper with a PhD by Lux ATL. About Kaila PrinsI’m a drag queen trapped in a cis-woman’s body. A ditcher of diet culture—after recovering from EDNOS/orthorexia, exercise addiction, and anorexia. A voiceover actor who is no longer afraid to use her voice. A burlesque and pole performer who found body acceptance and body positivity through dance. A certified health and wellness coach who teaches (and podcasts about) health at every size and discovery, not recovery. Kaila Prins is Performing Woman, a motivational speaker, workshop leader, wellness coach, and dance teacher. You can find her at PerformingWoman.com and on Twitter @performingwoman. Hearing from you is the best, so here's how to contact the show:
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Sun, 10 July 2016
A listener question sent me on a quest to find some folks who could share their coming out stories, specifically cis men, and that quest led me to TT Baum. Several colleagues had the most amazing things to say about him, and when we finally connected, I adored his calm energy and beautiful openness. This episode has so many tender moments - from his coming out story to his thoughts on sex education for youth to his journey to becoming a sacred intimate. I wanted to listen to him talk for hours. So, settle in and get ready for a great chat with TT Baum. Psst...did you know you can follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook? It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. Resources discussed in this episodeAbout TT BaumTTBaum is a Sacred Intimate and Sex Educator based in San Francisco. He has been dubbed a pleasure activist and a warrior of love. TT’s path to sexual awakening began over a decade ago. He has refined a powerful style of erotic facilitation that integrates his own sexual research with the teachings of his mentors (among them, Joseph Kramer, PhD., AnnieSprinkle, PhD. and Barbara Carrellas). TT has a unique approach to supporting clients mastering their own erotic energy. In his own words: “As a Sacred Intimate, I have been called to provide my clients with new tools and experiences to awaken into a more satisfying and intimate sexual existence. To this end I see my practice as a Sacred Intimate from a holistic place that requires me to consider the harmony of the entire being: physical, emotional, spiritual and mental.” Check out TT's website integral-eros.com and follow him on Twitter @integraleros. Hearing from you is the best, so here's how to contact the show:
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Sun, 3 July 2016
Trigger warning: talk of suicide From the early days of queer porn to managing sex positive feminist shops to getting internet famous for her epic orgasm quest, Crista Anne - the rainbowiest of rainbow people - joins the show this week. One of the things I've admired about Crista Anne for so long is her fierce, unapologetic approach to sharing her own struggles. She doesn't hide behind the internet and try to craft a perfect image. Her vulnerability and courage when it comes to her struggles with orgasm and depression caught my attention a while back, and I'm excited she's bringing that spirit to the show this week. Plus, some of THE funniest quotes we've had on the show in a while. Psst...did you know you can follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook? It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. Resources discussed in this episodeAbout Crista AnneCrista Anne is a rainbow colored pleasure revolutionary whose work focuses on starting conversations and busting stigmas surrounding the intersections of sexuality, mental illness and sex-positive parenting with her Partner XVO. With 15 years of working in different spheres of sexuality, Crista has been sharing her empowered sexuality online since before the term blog existed. You can find her work at CristaAnne.com and on Twitter @pinkness. Hearing from you is the best, so here's how to contact the show:
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Sun, 26 June 2016
Are you ready for a mastery level version of Sex Gets Real? Good. Because this week, Sarah Mueller from Smitten Kitten joins the show to share her research on lube, as well as her findings around herpes and STIs. Did you know some lubes (like KY) actually INCREASE the likelihood of STI transmission because the lube damages your genital tissue? And why does silicone lube damage silicone toys but condoms filled with silicone lube don't? We also field a question from a listener about bacterial vaginosis, which takes us down the rabbit hole of just how little the medical community knows about this condition as well as STI diagnoses. This is an episode you'll want to listen to more than once because the information is so damn important. Settle in and prepare yourself! Psst...did you know you can follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook? It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. Resources discussed in this episode Ella Dawson's amazing TED Talk about STIs is a must see. The Smitten Kitten carries most of the lubes mentioned above plus the She Pack for your vagina. About Sarah Mueller Sarah E. Mueller has been a Sex Educator at The Smitten Kitten since May of 2012. After nearly four years at Smitten Kitten Sarah realized personal lubricants are a huge contributor to people’s sexual satisfaction and health, but many struggle to find lubricants without adverse effects. Sarah then began an extensive research project on personal lubricant ingredients, regulations, and interactions with the body. Currently Sarah is the Lead Research and Education developer at The Smitten Kitten, and is expanding her research and educational offerings to topics from STIs, Cancer Treatment & Sexual Function, Menopause, and Social Justice within Gynecology. Her research has also allowed her to contribute to Allison Moon’s Girl Sex 101, contribute to the lubricant information in Joan Price’s The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty, and she has been interviewed as a Lube Expert on the Sexational Blog, VICE Magazine’s Blog, and Tristan Taormino’s Sex Out Loud Radio Show. Want to learn more about all of the awesome work Sarah is doing? Follow her on Twitter @sarah_e_mueller or by emailing her at sarah at smittenkittenonline dot com. Hearing from you is the best, so here's how to contact the show:
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Sun, 19 June 2016
JoEllen Notte is a sex educator powerhouse - she is revolutionizing the discussion about sex and depression, and also has a beautiful blog all about sex positivity, sex toys, and introversion. She recently reached out to me and asked if she could come on the show to talk about sex positivity versus sex performativity. Or, as we discuss in this episode, the way sex positive folks often exclude people by their actions and behaviors in a way that makes spaces feel unsafe. Sex positivity has been an incredible response to our sex negative culture, but it's also just that - a response to the existing paradigm. Not everyone wants to have all the orgies or flirt all of the time, and that gets overlooked a lot. So in this episode, JoEllen and I have a really frank discussion about some of the ways sex positive communities are failing us, and then we field two listener questions about using inclusive language and not being a creep at sex toy stores when you have questions about sex. Don't forget: I just revamped my one-on-one coaching packages and spots are filling up. If you need some help around sex, your relationship, and connecting with a loved one, you can check out the new options over on DawnSerra.com. About JoEllen Notte JoEllen Notte is a writer, speaker, and mental health advocate who has spent the last 2 years exploring the impact of depression on sex and relationships. Since 2012 she has written about sex, vibrators, mental health, and how none of us are broken on the award-winning RedheadBedhead.com as well as for xoJane, Bitch Media, Daily Dot, AlterNet and Kinkly. She has travelled North America touring the best sex shops in the US and Canada, led workshops on sexual communication, navigating consent, having casual sex kindly, and online dating, and has spoken at length on sex toys but she is happiest and most effective when writing and speaking on behalf of quiet people who have sex– check out her video series on attending conferences as an introvert and extensive work on sex and depression. JoEllen is certified as a sex educator through Planned Parenthood of Massachusetts Sexuality Education Certification Series and has spoken at Clark College, University of Chicago, Woodhull’s Sexual Freedom Summit and the Playground Conference. You can stay in touch with JoEllen over on Facebook and on Twitter @JoEllenNotte. Hearing from you is the best, so here's how to contact the show:
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Sun, 12 June 2016
Elle Chase joins the show this week, and it is such an incredible discussion. LadyCheeky, Elle's very famous Tumblr, is a resource that I mention regularly on this show. Lady Cheeky is not about getting off, but rather about getting aroused and sitting in those erotic experiences a little longer, savoring the sensual. We dive into the back story that brought her to this point with a world-renowned porn site. This episode is all about fat sex, fat bodies, and finding your own way to pleasure. Elle's approach to embodied consent is glorious, and her advice to a listener who can't orgasm without a vibrator is definitely worth a listen. Don't forget: Dawn just revamped her one-on-one coaching packages and spots are filling up. If you need some help around sex, your relationship, and connecting with a loved one, you can check out her programs over on DawnSerra.com. About Elle Chase: Sex educator and sexuality and body image coach Elle Chase, is a graduate of the comprehensive San Francisco Sex Information, Sex Educator Training Program and a member of the American College of Sexologists. Elle also serves as the Director of Education & Lead Sex Educator at the Los Angeles Academy of Sex Education, which offers pleasure inclusive classes, on sexuality, gender, sexual health and sexual lifestyles. She is also the author of the upcoming book "Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower your Sex Life," due out in January 20, 2017 from Fair Winds Press and as her alter ego Lady Cheeky, is the editor of the smash hit (very) adult coloring book, the #NSFW Totally Naughty Coloring Book by SheVibe.com. Elle is also the creator, curator & editor of two award-winning and highly trafficked sexuality websites, www.LadyCheeky.com (NSFW) which has been named as the number one site for porn for women, and its companion editorial site www.SmutForSmarties.com which has been L.A. Weekly’s choice for 'Best Sex Blog' since 2013. Follow Elle on Twitter @TheElleChase and @LadyCheeky (NSFW). Hearing from you is the best, so here's how to contact the show:
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Sun, 5 June 2016
Because it was such a huge week, I wanted to spend a little quality time with you. Despite having so many incredible interviews lined up and ready to go, I really wanted to field a few terrific emails and get cozy with you. Oh, and be sure to pop over to Kickstarter to check out the new sex game Weapons of Mass Seduction. It looks awesome and inclusive. In this episode, Dawn:
Don't forget Dawn just revamped her one-on-one coaching packages and spots are filling up. If you need some help around sex, your relationship, and connecting with a loved one, you can check out her programs over on DawnSerra.com. Resources discussed in this episode: Hearing from you is the best, so here's how to contact the show:
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Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
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