Sex Gets Real: Talking Sex, Relationships, and Kink with Dawn Serra

Masturbation May. Just a few days left to pop over to our exclusive sale with podcast-approved toys. Treat yourself to something deliciously naughty.

Showtime's new late-night show, Submission, is all about BDSM. We follow Ashley, a woman coming out of yet another sexually unsatisfying relationship, as she begins to explore her desire in the realm of power exchange and BDSM.

Written and directed by Jacky St. James, who has taken the feminist porn world by storm, the show offers us a more complex, empowered, dynamic, and accurate look into the world of pleasure, pain, psychological play, and more.

On this very special episode of Sex Gets Real, I sit down and chat with Jacky St. James and the show's lead actor, Ashlynn Yennie. We talk about how the show came to be, what it was like for porn director Jacky to shoot a mainstream show about sex, and how Ashlynn jumped into this world without any prior experience in kink.

It's hot, and it's about to get even hotter.

Submission airs Thursdays at 11pm ET on Showtime.

In this episode, Jacky, Ashlynn, and I:

  • Discuss what sets Submission apart from 50 Shades of Grey, including the important of having a lead character who chooses this path for herself instead of doing it for someone else.
  • Laugh over cock socks and simulated sex versus porn sex.
  • Explore consent and the role that it played in the creation of Submission. Jacky didn't want a polished version of BDSM, but a more flawed and real look at what BDSM can be.
  • Talk about what it was like on set for the actors who were naked and engaging in actual BDSM for many of the scenes.
  • Tease everyone endlessly with what's coming up next on the show. EPISODE 6! I NEED TO SEE IT.

About Jacky St. James

Jacky St. James is an award-winning writer and director in the adult entertainment industry dubbed by Salon.com as “the Woman Who Conquered Porn.” She’s guest lectured at UCLA, UCSB, and been featured in Slate, The Huffington Post, The Daily Beast, The Examiner, and many more.

Follow Jacky on Twitter @jackystjames and check out her SUPER sexy site over at missjackystjames.com/.

About Ashlynn Yennie

Ashlynn Yennie grew up in Wyoming and Colorado, she moved to NYC when she was 18 to train at the New York Conservatory for Dramatic Arts.

She started her career in commercials and bit parts on soap operas but it was landing the part of Jenny in the cult horror films The Human Centipede 1 & 2 that put her on the map. She has appeared in several other indie film including Fractured, The Scribbler and The Ghost and the Whale as well as on the popular television series NCIS and Undatable. She is starring as Ashley in the new Showtime series SUBMISSION.

You can find Ashlynn on Twitter @ashlynnyennie, Instagram @ashlynn_yennie, and on her website ashlynnyennie.com.

Hearing from you is the best, so here's how to contact the show:

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Episode_111.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 8:48am EST

Masturbation May. Have you gotten yours on yet? If not, pop over to our exclusive sale with podcast-approved toys and treat yourself to something deliciously naughty.

This week, August McLaughlin shares a little about her battle with anorexia and body dysmorphia, plus how that led her to creating Girl Boner.

We also field some wonderful questions from listeners on the way our bodies and genitals look, plus struggling with orgasms.

In this episode, August and I:

  • Laugh and cringe over the sad state of sex education in the United States. Rarely is pleasure ever mentioned to young people, but if it is, it's usually reserved for folks with a penis, while the only info we get about vulvas is that they have cramps and periods.
  • Explore August's eating disorder and body dysmorphia and how that led her to heal her relationship with her sexuality.
  • Dig into the importance of letting go of shame around our shame. How can we confront our own stories and beliefs to lead a more empowered and authentic life rather than the one put on us by others?
  • Contemplate a listener question about anal bleaching - is she doing it to please her husband and make herself feel more worthy or because she wants to do it as an act of power to celebrate her body?
  • Stress the importance of consuming porn that has body diversity, including a wide range of pubic hair, labia, penises, and body size.
  • Answer a question from a virgin who is worried that his uncircumcised penis is what's driving away potential lovers. (Our answer is a resounding NO.)
  • Discuss a listener question about orgasms - she can orgasm on her own but can't from intercourse and is worried her partner feels frustrated by it all. Has she tried toys? Various positions? Talking to him about it and making it a fun exploration
  • Gush over why we should replace "achieving orgasm" with "experiencing orgasm".

About August McLaughlin

August McLaughlin is an award-winning, nationally recognized health and sexuality writer and host and creator of Girl Boner®. Her work appears in Cosmopolitan, DAME Magazine, the Huffington Post, LIVESTRONG.com and more. Kirkus Reviews called her first novel, In Her Shadow, “an engaging story with an inventive structure and an intriguing focus on body-image issues.”

Her latest book, Embraceable: Empowering Facts and True Stories About Women’s Sexuality, is a celebration of women’s sexual empowerment. Each week on Girl Boner® Radio, she interviews relationship experts, celebrity entertainers and more, exploring women’s lives and sexuality “like no one else.” Known for melding personal passion, artistry and activism, August uses her skills as a public speaker and journalist to inspire women to embrace their bodies and selves, making way for fuller, more authentic lives.

Want to stay in touch with August? Find her at AugustMcLaughlin.com where you can also listen to Girl Boner radio. Be sure to like her on Facebook and follow her on Twitter, too.

Hearing from you is the best, so here's how to contact the show:

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here

 

Direct download: Episode_110.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EST

Masturbation May. Have you gotten yours on yet? If not, pop over to our exclusive sale with podcast-approved toys and treat yourself to something deliciously naughty.

Nadine Thornhill is someone I admire greatly. Not only was she part of the Explore More Summit, but her approach to parenting and talking to kids about sex is revolutionary. And this week, we're going deep into consent, kids, teens, being a parent, talking about porn, and much more.

I truly believe that future generations will be so much more consent informed and emotionally intelligent because of work like Nadine's. If all of us are better able to express ourselves and receive rejection gracefully, we'd have drastically healthier relationships and sex for it.

You can find Nadine at NadineThornhill.com. She's also on Twitter @NadineThornhill and YouTube with awesome videos. 

Resources discussed in this episode:

Dawn still has spots available for one-on-one sex and relationship coaching, so if you're interested pop over to her site to find out more.

Hearing from you is the best, so here's how to contact the show:

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here

 

Direct download: Episode_109.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EST

Masturbation May is in full swing, so pop over to our exclusive sale with podcast-approved toys and treat yourself to something deliciously naughty.

Victoria Rosa, from Open and Awesome, joins us this week. She shares stories from her journey with tantra and sacred spot massage.

Then we dive into listener questions. First up, a listener shares that her husband is horrible at oral sex and yet he thinks he is god's gift to her pussy. What can she do when he doesn't take direction well?

Orgasmically Challenged also needs help. Her sweet boyfriend cums before she orgasms and she is getting super frustrated. Between their anxieties and shyness, is the relationship doomed?

Hearing from you is the best, so here's how to contact the show:

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Episode_108.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EST

MASTURBATION MAY is here! And we are celebrating with an exclusive Sex Gets Real sale: njoy, Magic Wand, Lelo, Sliquid. Check it out now. Only happening for the month of May.

Comedian and 4-Play Baltimore host, Prescott Gaylord, joins us for a second HIQI.

Listener Dannyle wants to know how to talk to the guy she's dating about the fact that she can't orgasm from partnered sex. She cums on her own, but when she's with someone else, it just doesn't happen. How can she share that without turning it into a challenge?

Then, Stage Fright, a listener who has been in a friends with benefits situation for 12 years, wants to know being in a FWB for that long is normal.

Dawn still has spots available for one-on-one sex and relationship coaching, so if you're interested pop over to her site to find out more.

Hearing from you is the best, so here's how to contact the show:

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Episode_107.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EST

From BDSM to broken penises, from virgin stories to rope bondage. It's a packed week.

Dawn has some new client openings for sex and relationship coaching. Want to check it out? Pop over to her coaching page and jump on it ASAP.

This week is full of juicy questions. One listener reveals he has a broken penis and after being shamed by a few partners, needs help getting over the fear. How can he embrace his penis?

Another listener is eager to try rope bondage and wants stories from Dawn, plus resources on how to safely get started.

A virgin is super excited to write in with her first juicy story, even if it wasn't ideal. Also, where can you find BDSM conferences like the ones Dawn always goes to?

Oh, and one listeners received a prostate massage from two massage professionals that ended in orgasm, and how his wife feels like he cheated. What can he do?

Hearing from you is the best, so here's how to contact the show:

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Episode_106.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EST

Dawn woke up feeling like she wanted an intimate chat with you.

There's also a follow-up from a listener who wrote in recently about sex with vibrators.

Plus, a 20-year-old virgin just got her first vibrator and wants help on working on internal orgasms. A mom also has some thoughts on safer sex kits for college kids.

There are a few free replays from the Explore More Summit this week, so check it out at http://exploremoresummit.com.

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Episode_105.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 9:01am EST

Sarah and Brian from YaySex.ca join in the fun this week.

Since they recently started teaching an anal sex class, we start off with a question about anal sex myths.

A listener who wants to study sexuality asks for book recommendations and we have quite the list (see below).

Plus, a heartbroken listener is tired of his wife's interest in fast fucks and quickies. He wants lovemaking and slow sex. What can he do?

In this episode, we mentioned a ton of resources. Here are the books we discussed with links!

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Episode_104.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 5:00am EST

What if you're already in love before the sex happens?

Comedian and 4-Play Baltimore host, Prescott Gaylord, joins us for the first of two HIQIs.

First, we hear from Sophie about college hook-ups and how she worked all her FWBs on campus. Then, Katie writes in because she is about to have sex with her girlfriend of one year for the first time. But she's never been in love before having sex and needs advice.

We weigh in. Also, Prescott makes lots of t-shirts.

Want to check out Dawn's Facebook community? Pop over here.

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Episode_103.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 8:26am EST

Dirty Lola joins us this week!

First up, there is a free webinar on March 28th all about intimacy in relationships as you explore non-monogamy and opening an existing relationship up. Register here!

Second, Dawn is an expert speaking at the Love Detox online event that starts April 4th. Learn more here: http://www.thelovedetoxseries.com/dawn

This week's co-host is Dirty Lola, a sex toy extraordinaire at Shag in Brooklyn, and also the creator and host of Sex Ed a Go-Go.

After hearing all about Lola's new Daddy Dom, we jump into two listener questions.

One listener wants to know how to prepare for experimenting with their girlfriend's vibrator. We have lots of thoughts.

Another listener is sexually inexperienced and wants to know - how do you even get started with sex and how do you find people to experiment with? Prepare for LOTS of ideas.

Find Lola on Twitter and check out Sex Ed A Go-Go online or over at swingset.fm.

You know we love hearing from you, so here's how to reach us

  • Call or text: 747-444-1840 (standard messaging rates apply)
  • Email: info@sexgetsreal.com
  • Contact form: Click here
Direct download: Episode_102.mp3
Category:Health, Sexuality -- posted at: 10:46am EST