Sun, 11 September 2016
In the DC area? I'm teaching kink, anal sex, thriving relationships, blowjobs, and more in October and November. Check out the details at Secret Pleasures Boutique by popping over to their workshop page. How does traditional consent education fail us? What do you do if you're in a new open relationship and it just isn't working for you? Can someone really orgasm without having their genitals touched? This week, Yana Tallon-Hicks joins the show and we roll around in all those questions and more (don't miss Dawn's story of aiming a penis). It's a fun, laughter-filled talk and it's clear why TEDx invited Yana to do a talk on sex education recently. The listener questions this week are particularly delicious, especially the final question from Lady Lilly - both Yana and I are near tears as we listen to the pain and heartbreak of her question. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.Resources discussed in this episodeYana's resource guide to open relationships is here. Password: compersionimmersion Watch Yana's TEDx talk. Barbara Carrellas' book "Ecstasy is Necessary" A video of Barbara Carrellas having a brain-gasm (or thinking her way to an orgasm) in an MRI machine About Yana Tallon-HicksYana Tallon-Hicks is a consent, sex & sexuality writer and educator living in Northampton, MA. Her work centers around the belief that pleasure-positive & consent-based sex education can positively impact our lives and the world (like really though). Yana’s > workshops work to create a welcoming & comfortable space for all to explore crucial aspects of our sexual selves such as pleasure, communication, consent & the body and are taught at colleges, high schools, and sex toy shops all over New England. Read more about Yana & her work here, where you can also read her sex advice column, follow her on Instagram, Twitter, and watch her TEDxTalk: Is the Porn Brain Our New Sex Educator? during which she talks about watching porn with her husband, how we learn about sexual pleasure, and what that does for our concept of consent. Find out more about Yana and her work on her website, yanatallonhicks.com. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sun, 4 September 2016
In the DC area? Sign up for my workshops at Secret Pleasures Boutique by popping over to their workshop page. The October “From Curious to Kinky” isn’t up yet, so check back soon if you’ve got your eye on that. Sometimes I get intimidated or nervous about speaking with a guest. Other times I feel excited to dig in with a colleague or friend. But this week? The only word I had was delight. Karen BK Chan delights me with her words and thoughts and ideas. The way she questions our cultural stories and makes sense of them astounds me. I could listen to her talk for hours, honestly. So, when she agreed to come on the show, I didn’t know what to do with myself. How do you talk about all the things when you only have an hour? We go deep in this episode. Where we start off talking about kindness and consent, we quickly end up eyeball deep in discussions around the masks we wear to protect ourselves from rejection and being consent violators ourselves and finding those places within ourselves that are invested in perpetuating our stories about who we are. From rejection and emotional intelligence to a new approach to consent and digging into rape fantasies, it’s a packed show that left me brain boner-ing for days. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It’s true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.About Karen BK ChanKaren B. K. Chan is a sex and emotional literacy educator in Toronto. She has taught sex education and emotional literacy for 18+ years. Karen (aka BK) is dedicated to sex education that is plainly spoken, emotionally honest, and grounded in justice. Known for her accessible style and easy sense of humour, BK speaks internationally in classrooms and at conferences, to children, parents, and professionals. BK integrates curriculum content into stories, and theory into practice. Her 5-minute YouTube video “Jam” (which likens sexual experience to musical jamming) is used as a teaching resource internationally, and her chapter on sex and creative play was part of the AASECT Book of the Year in 2014. BK’s writing has appeared in publications like Sexology International, the Tete-a-Tete, SimplySxy.com, and national education manuals. In 2014, BK was named “Service Provider of the Year” by Planned Parenthood of Toronto for her work in sexual health. You can find BK over at karenbkchan.com and on Twitter @karenbkchan. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sun, 28 August 2016
In the DC area? Sign up for my workshops at Secret Pleasures Boutique by popping over to their workshop page. What can I even say about an episode that not only has Dylan, as the celesbian guest this week, but Dylan singing Rihanna? Yep. It was amazing having Dylan back on the show, beer in hand, for a fun, frank discussion and answering listener questions. She has been working so hard that we've had virtually no time to catch up. On this episode, we dig into strap-on sex, sex positions, cuckholding and sharing the fantasy, plus how to find your voice as a submissive and what to do if your new hook-up only likes one position. There's a lot of laughing and over sharing, but you knew that. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. Do it.About Dawn SerraFor those of you who have listened for awhile, you know more about my sex life than most people know about their partners, but I figured it was time for a little bio action. First, you can check out my sex & relationship coaching over at DawnSerra.com. You can follow me on Twitter @dawn_serra, on Facebook, and over on Instagram, too. Here’s the official word: In a world that makes us feel like we aren’t enough, Dawn Serra is on a mission to rewrite the stories we’re told about sex, relationships, and our bodies. As a sex coach, sex educator, and fat-bodied trauma survivor, Dawn invites you to drop the shame, get curious, and explore sex on your terms, in whatever form that may take. Dawn is also the creator of the annual Explore More Summit. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sun, 21 August 2016
In the DC area? Sign up for my workshops at Secret Pleasures Boutique by popping over to their workshop page. The October "From Curious to Kinky" isn't up yet, so check back soon if you've got your eye on that. We all have those people that we admire to the point of fandom, and for me, one of those people is Emily Nagoski. Her work has had a deep impact on my personal life and my professional life. She single-handedly changed the way I work with clients who have low desire or libido they aren't happy with. And her blog? It's one braingasm after another. So, needless to say this week was a dream come true for me. Because I've already spent so much time gushing over her book, "Come As You Are," on previous episodes, we don't actually spend a lot of time talking about it in this hour. Instead, we talk about pleasure and joy as political rebellion, feminism, the importance of creating context that works for your sexual enjoyment, being inclusive of all bodies, fat acceptance, research, and her new book on burn out. She also invites us to weigh in on her new romance novel. You can tweet at the show @sexgetsreal and @emilynagoski with your vote - terrorist or werewolf? And next week? Dylan is back! So stay tuned. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.Resources discussed in this episodeThe epic, the amazing, "Come As You Are" Emily's romance novel, "How Not To Fall" (published under Emily Foster) The Militant Baker blog on fat bodies and fat activism About Emily NagoskiEmily Nagoski is the author of the New York Times bestseller, COME AS YOU ARE: The surprising new science that will transform your sex life (Simon & Schuster, 2015). She has a Ph.D. in Health Behavior with a doctoral concentration in human sexuality from Indiana University (IU), and a Master’s degree (also from IU) in Counseling, with a clinical internship at the Kinsey Institute Sexual Health Clinic. She also has a B.A. in Psychology, with minors in cognitive science and philosophy, from the University of Delaware. While at IU, Emily worked as an educator and docent at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex Gender and Reproduction. She also taught graduate and undergraduate classes in human sexuality, relationships and communication, stress management, and sex education. A sex nerd among sex nerds, Emily has the lowest Erdős number of any sex educator in the world. She lives in western Massachusetts with two dogs, two cats, and a cartoonist. She’s funnier in real life (and hardly ever speaks in the third person). You can find Emily on Twitter @emilynagoski, Facebook, and follow her over on her blog, The Dirty Normal. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sun, 14 August 2016
Conner Habib generously agreed to jump on the phone with me at the last minute for this week's episode, and our conversation is incredibly political and philosophical in ways you don't often hear on the show. This is my second time interviewing Conner and both times we've chatted, I've felt challenged and inspired to think bigger. Strap on your thinking cap and get ready to feel stretched by some of Conner's ideas about feminism, sex work, consent, and oppression. I also invite you to listen to the entire conversation before forming your ideas and thoughts about some of the radical things Conner has to say. He often makes me uncomfortable with his visionary approach to sensitive subjects like consent, but as you'll hear, he is as self-aware and thoughtful as he is provoking. Sit with any discomfort that comes up and then let me know what you think. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. About Conner HabibConner Habib is an author, a lecturer, a porn performer, and a sex workers’ rights advocate. He serves as Vice President of the Adult Performer Advocacy Committee and a member of PEN America. His essays have appeared in dozens of print and online publications, includingThe Stranger, Vice, Salon, Slate, and more. He gives lectures around the country about sexuality, spirituality, pornography, science, and art. He teaches writing one-on-one and in groups. For seven years, he was an award-winning gay adult performer, and continue, occasionally, to perform in adult film. He is the only person who has ever won awards for writing, teaching AND porn. Follow him on twitter @ConnerHabib. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sun, 7 August 2016
There is something so delicious in talking about something that I have so little experience with. This week's chat with Princess Kali is just that - a fun, playful talk about erotic humiliation, objectification, mastering kink, and being a Dominatrix. It's rich, it's approachable, and it's terribly intriguing. Throughout the episode, Princess Kali drops truthbomb after truthbomb. I adore her story of how she got started as a stripper and Dominatrix. It's not often you find a woman who recognizes that men will be objectifying her simply because she's a woman, and so decides to make a profit off of that behavior. We dig into what humiliation is and why people crave it, how you can tap into your inner Dominant, and what happens when people stifle and ignore their deep sexual desires. Plus, tips for getting your submissive involved in scene planning! As Princess Kali says, kink is a team sport. I can't wait for you to hear this chat. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. Resources discussed in this episodeKinkAcademy.com - over 1400 educational videos on kink "Enough to Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation" About Princess KaliPrincess Kali takes her kink seriously and has spent over fourteen years exploring not only the how but the why of alternative lifestyles. Her experience working as a professional dominatrix has given her a unique understanding of the motivations behind erotic humiliation play as well as a passion for helping people participate in it more safely and enjoyably. Her dynamic and engaging style of presenting has been welcomed at more than 150 venues including kink events such as Dark Odyssey, Fetish Fair Fleamarket, Kink in the Caribbean, and IMsL as well as mainstream venues such as Harvard University and SXSW. Princess Kali is currently focusing on personal coaching and group workshops to help people safely discover their own style of kink with the benefit of her experience and guidance. Kali resides in the San Francisco area but travels often for workshops and events. You can also follower her on Twitter @princess_kali. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sun, 31 July 2016
It's just you and me this week. No guest. No interview. Just your questions and emails and me savoring every single one of them. We're talking transsexual fetish sex, pegging, exploring sex with a partner who is a rape survivor, what it means to be bad at sex, Hollywood myths about how sex should look, and ALL the ways to communicate with the folks we're fucking so that we can all be more successful in the sack. Psst...did you know you can follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook? It's true. Resources discussed in this episode"Radical Ecstasy" by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton SpareParts Joque harness - want one? I sell them. Contact me for details. Sex after rape. There's a great article here and here. About Dawn SerraFor those of you who have listened for awhile, you know more about my sex life than most people know about their partners, but I figured it was time for a little bio action. First, you can check out my sex & relationship coaching over at DawnSerra.com. You can follow me on Twitter @dawn_serra, on Facebook, and over on Instagram, too. Here's the official word: In a world that makes us feel like we aren’t enough, Dawn Serra is on a mission to rewrite the stories we’re told about sex, relationships, and our bodies. As a sex coach, sex educator, and fat-bodied trauma survivor, Dawn invites you to drop the shame, get curious, and explore sex on your terms, in whatever form that may take. Dawn is also the creator of the annual Explore More Summit. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sun, 24 July 2016
This week's chat is one of my favorites. Andre Shakti is an absolute delight. The first time I saw her in person at Sex Down South last year, I was in complete awe. She is this vibrant, powerful force to be reckoned with, and when she said she'd come on the show I was completely tickled. We dive into sex work, fetish wrestling, porn, and more. One of the things she mentions during our chat is how we do not have any resources in the world on how to be a good consumer of sex work or of porn. She draws an parallel between Julia Roberts and porn performers that is fantastic. Plus, we talk about the importance of letting go of goals in sex and instead, getting to know your body and celebrating what it's capable of, instead of obsessing over what you wish it could do. Psst...did you know you can follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook? It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. Resources discussed in this episodeViolet Blue and TinyNibbles.com - resources on ethically produced pornography About Andre ShaktiAndre Shakti is an educator, producer, activist, and professional slut devoted to normalizing alternative desires, de-stigmatizing sex workers and their clients, and not taking herself too seriously. She wrestles mediocre white men into submission and writes about sex work, queerness and non-monogamy for Cosmopolitan, Harlot, MEL, and more. She can frequently be found marathoning Law & Order: SVU under a chaotic pile of partners and pitbulls, and yes, she knows how problematic that show is. Follow Andre on Twitter @andreshakti and check out her super sexy website >AndreShaktiXXX.com (NSFW). Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sun, 17 July 2016
Body positivity is something I constantly bring up on the show - not only because it's an important part of my own story, but because I'm constantly getting questions from listeners about their own body shame and struggles. That's why I am so excited by this unapologetic and energizing look into pole dancing and burlesque with Kaila Prins. Not only did she use both to help her work through an eating disorder, but she has also discovered what it means to be embodied and to live in a deeply consensual place, as a result. From controlling the gaze of the audience to sharing what it's like to get naked on stage for the first time, we roll around in gender, safe spaces, embracing 'ugly' as a by-product of feeling empowered and attuned to your body, and so so much more. Psst...did you know you can follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook? It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. Resources discussed in this episodeStripcast: True Stories of a Stripper with a PhD by Lux ATL. About Kaila PrinsI’m a drag queen trapped in a cis-woman’s body. A ditcher of diet culture—after recovering from EDNOS/orthorexia, exercise addiction, and anorexia. A voiceover actor who is no longer afraid to use her voice. A burlesque and pole performer who found body acceptance and body positivity through dance. A certified health and wellness coach who teaches (and podcasts about) health at every size and discovery, not recovery. Kaila Prins is Performing Woman, a motivational speaker, workshop leader, wellness coach, and dance teacher. You can find her at PerformingWoman.com and on Twitter @performingwoman. Hearing from you is the best, so here's how to contact the show:
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Sun, 10 July 2016
A listener question sent me on a quest to find some folks who could share their coming out stories, specifically cis men, and that quest led me to TT Baum. Several colleagues had the most amazing things to say about him, and when we finally connected, I adored his calm energy and beautiful openness. This episode has so many tender moments - from his coming out story to his thoughts on sex education for youth to his journey to becoming a sacred intimate. I wanted to listen to him talk for hours. So, settle in and get ready for a great chat with TT Baum. Psst...did you know you can follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook? It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram. Resources discussed in this episodeAbout TT BaumTTBaum is a Sacred Intimate and Sex Educator based in San Francisco. He has been dubbed a pleasure activist and a warrior of love. TT’s path to sexual awakening began over a decade ago. He has refined a powerful style of erotic facilitation that integrates his own sexual research with the teachings of his mentors (among them, Joseph Kramer, PhD., AnnieSprinkle, PhD. and Barbara Carrellas). TT has a unique approach to supporting clients mastering their own erotic energy. In his own words: “As a Sacred Intimate, I have been called to provide my clients with new tools and experiences to awaken into a more satisfying and intimate sexual existence. To this end I see my practice as a Sacred Intimate from a holistic place that requires me to consider the harmony of the entire being: physical, emotional, spiritual and mental.” Check out TT's website integral-eros.com and follow him on Twitter @integraleros. Hearing from you is the best, so here's how to contact the show:
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Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra
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