Sun, 28 May 2017
This week's episode is brought to you by Talkspace. Listeners get $30 off their first month of therapy with coupon code SGR, so check it out and spread the word to support the show. Don't forget: Patreons who support with just $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly bonus content, too. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sgrpodcast Curious about what has Dylan been up to? What's changed in her life? BIG THINGS, but only Patreon supporters will hear the juiciest of juicy details. Dawn talks about moving to Vancouver and watching the latest Four Chambers porn by Vex Ashley while having house guests. Then we field listener questions on nun and priest fetishes, how to eat pussy like a champ (again), and we rage over stealthing - because it's just not OK ever. You can hear round one of Dylan's oral sex tips way back on episode 5, but this is the new updated version after Dylan's latest adventures in pussy eating. Also, yay for the smell of pussy. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.About Dawn SerraSex is a social skill. I speak it. I write it. I teach it. I help you learn how to develop it. I am the creator and host of the laughter-filled, no-holds-barred weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real. I lecture at colleges and universities on sex and relationships, too. When I'm not speaking and teaching, I also work one-on-one with clients who need to get unstuck around their pleasure and desire. But it's not all work! In my downtime, I can often be found watching an episode of Masterchef Australia, cooking up something delicious, or adventuring with my sexy AF husband. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sun, 21 May 2017
This week's episode is brought to you by Talkspace. Listeners get $30 off their first month of therapy with coupon code SGR, so check it out and spread the word to support the show. This week's episode is very special to me. I want to thank all of the brave souls who responded to my call for abortion stories. To read their powerful words, visit sexgetsreal.com/ep162. In fact, start there before you dive into this chat with Carol Sanger about her new book, "About Abortion: Terminating Pregnancy in 21st Century America". Abortion can be a ridiculously charged topic in the United States, which is unique among countries with legal abortion. Carol's book is a fascinating and dare I say fun look into the legislation, the imagery, how technology has impacted the conversation, and more than anything focuses on what happens when people in marginalized positions are forced to choose secrecy over privacy. We tie abortion to sex work, kink, polyamory, HIV/AIDS, and of course, to the larger oppressive systems at play in our society like patriarchy and gender role bullshit. Despite the heaviness of abortion, this talk with Carol is delightful - there's intimate moments and several genuine laughs as we dive into all of the terrific research Carol has done and why it's more important than ever that we share our stories. If abortion is a hot topic for you, I invite you to listen and to be patient. The stories, more than anything, are critical for us all to hear and absorb. Oh! Don't forget: Patreons who support with just $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly bonus content, too. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sgrpodcast Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.Resources mentioned in this episodeCarol mentioned a paper called, "I Would Like to Give My Baby, Like, Everything In the World," which talks about women aborting to protect their children. While this is an academic paper that is not publicly accessible, Slate wrote about the paper here. Lindy West and Amelia Bonow started #ShoutYourAbortion and ShoutYourAbortion.com to share abortion stories. The Rewire book review by Katie Klabusich that Carol mentions in the episode. Check it out here. About Carol SangerCarol Sanger is the Barbara Aronstein Black Professor of Law at Columbia Law School. She teaches courses on contracts, family law, and others focusing on reproduction, the legal profession, and law and gender. Her recent book About Abortion (Harvard University Press) is centered on the regulation of abortion. You can follow Carol on Twitter @carolsangernyc Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sun, 14 May 2017
Patreons who support with just $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly bonus content, too. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sgrpodcast I am constantly on the lookout for people who are doing amazing, inspiring, fun things in the world of sex and relationships. So, you just know I had to reach out to Feminist Press when I saw they were publishing a children's book with the title, "Tell Me About Sex, Grandma." And what better time to celebrate kids and parenting and sex and divorce and healing than Mother's Day? Anastasia Higginbotham is the author of a series of books called Ordinary Terrible Things aimed at helping kids to understand and find words for things like sex, divorce, death, racism, and queerness. Anastasia's books are about centering kids' wisdom and giving them space to have a full range of feelings and permission to be who they are. But the magic of these books is also in their healing power for grown-ups. If you were raped or molested, "Tell Me About Sex, Grandma" will offer a balm to your young self about what happened. If your parents split when you were young, "Divorce is the Worst" gives you permission to sit in those big feelings you may have tried to hide years ago. This is the kind of stuff that overturns patriarchy and helps young people realize that they actually hold a tremendous amount of wisdom and power. Also, at the end of this week's episode is a sneak peek of next week's incredible episode on abortion. Please do stay tuned. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.Resources discussed in this episodeYou can pre-order "Tell Me About Sex, Grandma" and purchase "Death is Stupid" and "Divorce is the Worst" from Feminist Press, and you know I love supporting feminist, independent sources, so please do buy from them over Amazon or a big box retailer. About Anastasia HigginbothamAnastasia Higginbotham is a writer and artist who created the children’s book series Ordinary Terrible Things, published by the Feminist Press. The series includes Divorce Is the Worst (2015), Death Is Stupid (2016), and Tell Me About Sex, Grandma (2017). It’s been embraced by children and adults for empowering and trusting kids as the authority on their own lives. Higginbotham makes the books in collage on brown grocery bag paper with clippings from magazines and catalogs, and bits of fabric and jewelry that have special meaning. Higginbotham’s series is informed by more than 20 years as a speechwriter for New York City nonprofits that combat all kinds of injustice. For 10 years, Higginbotham taught full impact self-defense to kids and adults with Prepare Inc., coaching students ages 6 and up to breathe, talk, and fight their way through confrontation and attack scenarios. Her essays have appeared in Huffington Post, Ms., Bitch, The Sun, Women’s Media Center, and The Women’s Review of Books. She’s featured in the anthologies, Listen Up: Voices from the Next Feminist Generation, 30 Things Every Girl Should Know About Women’s History, and Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape. She is a 2015 Hedgebrook Fellow. You can stay in touch with Anastasia on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter @ahigginbooks. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sun, 7 May 2017
This week's episode is brought to you by Talkspace. And listeners get $30 off their first month of therapy with coupon code SGR, so check it out and spread the word to support the show. Don't forget: Patreons who support with just $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly bonus content, too. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sgrpodcast Andre Shakti is BACK! She has a new project called I Am Poly and So Can You, and we go deep into non-monogamy and polyamory this week after geeking out over Erotic Film School. When did Andre figure out she was non-monogamous, what advice does she wishes existed when she was a teenager, and what do you do if you cheated on your wife and now she wants to cheat on you? Well, we talk about allllll of that and more this week. Andre has stellar advice for a couple who are wanting to try a threesome for the first time, and we also get a charming email from R who is in a loving triad but who needs more sex. Poly pressure to have sex is real and Andre explores why sometimes it's OK to step off the sex train if everything else in your life feels great. Don't forget to send in your sex confessions about May's theme of FOOD! I created a guidelines page for you. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.Resources mentioned in this episode"I Love You, But I Don't Trust You: The Complete Guide to Restoring Trust in Your Relationship" by Mira Krishenbaum - Andre recommend this for working through trust issues in a relationship. About Andre ShaktiAndre Shakti is a journalist, educator, performer, activist, and professional slut living in the San Francisco Bay Area. She is devoted to normalizing alternative desires, de-stigmatizing sex workers and their clients, and not taking herself too seriously. Andre wrestles mediocre white men into submission and writes about sex work, queerness and non-monogamy for Cosmopolitan, Rewire, Thrillist, MEL, Vice, Autostraddle, and more. She can frequently be found marathoning Law & Order: SVU under a chaotic pile of partners and pitbulls, and yes, she knows how problematic that show is. Andre is the reigning "polyamory pundit" at her non-monogamy advice column, "I Am Poly & So Can You!", which you can visit - and submit questions to! - via IAmPoly.net. Visit her on Twitter @andreshakti, on FB as "Andre Shakti", and as a pleasure professional on the new inclusive educational platform O.School. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sun, 30 April 2017
Patreons who support with just $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly bonus content, too. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sgrpodcast This week Jaclyn Friedman is here. Known for her incredible work around sexual assault, sexual violence, consent, and sex education, it is a really intense discussion that I can't wait for you to hear. We talk about sexual liberation and why sex positivity must include conversations around sexual violence if it hopes to achieve it's aim. We dive into stealthing and why removing a condom without consent is rape. Jaclyn explores the ways that stealthing is dehumanizing and why this power move is about erasing the humanity of the person you're sleeping with. She also talks about what centering humanity in sex has meant for her - being able to relax into her truth by getting off the sexual Olympics train. Plus, why all this buzz about hook-up culture on college campuses is actually a myth and the impact that myth is having on students. Then we go deep into victim-centering justice, needing community to step in and hold sexually violent people accountable, why transformative justice is not the answer, and she even challenges me on being too generous around people who commit acts of sexual violence. We may not have answers, but we certainly have a lot of feelings and even bigger questions. So strap in and prepare yourself. Don't forget to send in your sex confessions about May's theme of FOOD! I created a guidelines page for you. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.About Jaclyn FriedmanJaclyn Friedman is a writer, speaker and activist, and creator of the hit books Yes Means Yes: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape (one of Publishers’ Weekly’s Top 100 Books of 2009, and #11 on Ms. Magazine’s Top 100 Feminist Nonfiction of All Time list) and What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl’s Shame-Free Guide to Sex & Safety. Her podcast, Unscrewed, is paving new paths to sexual liberation, and was named one of the Best Sex Podcasts by both Marie Claire and Esquire. Friedman’s work has popularized the “yes means yes” standard of sexual consent that is quickly becoming law on many US campuses. Her insistence that authentic sexual liberation is a necessary condition to end the systemic sexualization and violation of women led Lyn Mikel Brown (Co-founder of SPARK and Professor of Education and Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Studies, Colby College) to call her “this generation’s version of Dr. Ruth.” Friedman is a popular speaker on campuses and at conferences across the U.S. and beyond. She has been a guest on the Today Show, Nightline, PBS News Hour, the Melissa Harris-Perry Show, and numerous other radio and television shows, and her commentary has appeared in outlets including The New York Times, Vox, Time, The Washington Post, Glamour and The Guardian. Friedman is a founder and the former Executive Director of Women, Action & the Media, where she led the successful #FBrape campaign to apply Facebook’s hate-speech ban to content that promotes gender-based violence. Friedman also holds an MFA in creative writing from Emerson College. You can stay in touch with Jaclyn at jaclynfriedman.com, as well as on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter @jaclynf. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
Hearing from you is the bestContact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) |
Sun, 23 April 2017
Patreons who support with just $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly bonus content, too. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sgrpodcast NW Mom wrote in with her confession about the mess she's in with a married man. Can she find her way out? She's lonely, she just discovered her sexual pleasure after a 20-year marriage, and yet, this amazing man can't be there for her. He knows it's not easy on her, so ending things shouldn't be a shock for him. Jess wrote in about her improved sex life and the new body safe Fun Factory vibrator she just got. Listening to the show has helped her sex life in fantastic ways and I am tickled. Jenister has a problem. She is bisexual, has anxiety, and wants to explore group sex with her partner. The only problem is she and her boyfriend have had threesomes before to great success. But, she is finding herself feeling super jealous and insecure when they look for potential play partners and she feels terrible. How can she overcome her jealousy and make the group sex fun again? Also, let's just honor Jenister's frustration about telling straight guys that she's bi - it's like they assume it means threesomes are automatically in the cards. UGH. NO. How do we care for ourselves when we feel jealous? How do you make space for meltdowns and insecurity without judging yourself? If you're interested in one-on-one coaching, check out my options here. What do you do if your friend is obsessed with having a boyfriend and totally defines their worth based on whether they're dating someone or not? I have thoughts. We live in a world that tells us we should all be on a quest for relationship, and that our worth is defined by the romantic partners we have. It's a big box to unpack. Bree Speed has way too much cum in her life. Her boyfriend shoots everywhere and she is cleaning cum off of everything. Is she the only one in this position? I have big thoughts like why isn't HE cleaning up his own mess? Why isn't he doing his laundry and taking care of this? Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.About Dawn SerraSex is a social skill. I speak it. I write it. I teach it. I help you learn how to develop it. I am the creator and host of the laughter-filled, no-holds-barred weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real. I lecture at colleges and universities on sex and relationships, too. When I'm not speaking and teaching, I also work one-on-one with clients who need to get unstuck around their pleasure and desire. But it's not all work! In my downtime, I can often be found watching an episode of Masterchef Australia, cooking up something delicious, or adventuring with my sexy AF husband. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
Hearing from you is the bestContact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) |
Sun, 16 April 2017
Patreons who support with just $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly bonus content, too. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sgrpodcast I am reading a devastating, lyrical book called "Abandon Me" by Melissa Febos. I'm desperately working to get her on the show soon to talk about her memoir (and her former work as a dominatrix). In the meantime, this week's show is a fun, informative interview with Siouxsie Q. We dive into her work with the Free Speech Coalition combatting harmful anti-porn, anti-sex work laws, including talking about what we can do, as consumers of porn, to help protect workers in the industry. You'll be especially horrified at the new set of laws sweeping the U.S. in the wake of the "porn health crisis" that everyone is freaking out about - with zero evidence, I might add. Then we talk about why porn is her favorite, what her parents think of her adult industry career, and we wrap up our chat fielding some listener questions about polyamory and non-monogamy. Oh! And we dive into why sex is magic and why sex workers are some of the most powerful beings on earth. LOVE IT. It's a blast, Siouxsie is so sweet and smart, and I know you're going to love it. Don't forget to send in your sex confessions! I created a guidelines page for you. March & April's theme will be messes! Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.About Siouxsie QSiouxsie got her start in the business dancing at the unionized Lusty Lady Theater in San Francisco, and has worked as a performer in adult films since 2012, garnering two AVN Award Nominations and a Feminist Porn Award. During that time, she has been an unrelenting advocate for the rights of all sex workers. Siouxsie Q is an author, weekly columnist for SF Weekly, and the creator of The Whorecast, a podcast network showcasing the diverse voices of the adult industry. She has lectured extensively on sex and sex work, and is regularly quoted and featured in the mainstream media, including CNN, USA Today, Cosmopolitan, Wired, Buzzfeed and America with Jorge Ramos. Her first book, Truth, Justice, and the American Whore, was published this year through 3L Media to rave reviews. She joined The Free Speech Coalition, the trade association of the adult industry, in May of 2016, to help them soundly defeat both Cal/Osha Regulation 5193.1, and Proposition 60, both of which would have put adult film performers at immense risk. She recently has returned to performing in adult films, and is excited to continue campaigning for the rights of adult industry workers, specifically through combatting the harmful wave of legislation declaring pornography to be a "public health crisis." You can stay in touch by following Siouxsie on Twitter @whorecast, @siouxsieqjames, @fscarmy, by reading her book "Truth, Justice, and the American Whore," by checking out Free Speech Coalition, and by popping over to Instagram as TheRealWhoreNextDoor. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sun, 9 April 2017
Patreons who support with just $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly bonus content, too. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sgrpodcast Plus, some news about my personal life. I'm moving to Canada, FINALLY. Also, my Bartholin gland flared up - and I had to take my own advice around new ways to experience sex and touch when intercourse and masturbation were off the table for several weeks. Ugh. Bodies. This week's show features a listener confession from S about a mess she had in her life. We also get an update from Scarlett Grace about telling her friend that she doesn't want to have threesomes with her anymore. Hailey wrote in asking how she can support a friend who was raped but who doesn't want to call it rape and who hasn't asked for support. How can you be a good friend and let someone know you're there for them after sexual assault, trauma, or rape? Let's talk about centering survivors and what that might look like, even if it feels really terrible for the people around them. Also, I am planning a trauma summit in August. Get on the Explore More list to get the notification. It will be free. Kelsey wonders - what's the difference between having a type or having a fetish, especially when it's racist and oppressive? Kelsey has a co-worker who constantly talks about Asian women and why he loves them. It's tokenism and exoticism, and she wants to know what she should do. My thoughts include why we ALL have a responsibility to critically reflect and examine our fantasies. Kitty Stryker has a thought-provoking piece on this very thing that's linked below. Sometimes we need to feel ashamed and move through that to get to deeper, more meaningful understandings of ourselves. Micah loves Conner Habib's deep questions, especially about impossibility and opening up conversations to new thought. He wants to know - why do we so often jump to "never" when even bringing up new ideas around sex and love? I have loads of thoughts. A lot of it comes back to safety. Stephanie's boyfriend has premature ejaculation and it's impacting their sex life. Medicine hasn't worked. She hates her body. She's faking her orgasms. What can she do? Big big thoughts there on body neutrality, on removing goals and expectations from sex, and from trying something new when the things you're trying keep not working. You do NOT need to love your body to have enjoyable sex. If you're interested in one-on-one coaching, check out my options here. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.Resources mentioned in the showKitty Stryker's article about examining our fantasies and challenging ourselves when they're racist, sexist, and problematic. Elle Chases's new book, "Curvy Girl Sex: 101 Body Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life" About Dawn SerraSex is a social skill. I speak it. I write it. I teach it. I help you learn how to develop it. I am the creator and host of the laughter-filled, no-holds-barred weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real. I lecture at colleges and universities on sex and relationships, too. When I'm not speaking and teaching, I also work one-on-one with clients who need to get unstuck around their pleasure and desire. But it's not all work! In my downtime, I can often be found watching an episode of Masterchef Australia, cooking up something delicious, or adventuring with my sexy AF husband. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
Hearing from you is the bestContact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) |
Sun, 2 April 2017
Patreons who support with just $3 per month and above get exclusive weekly bonus content, too. Literally, every pledge sends me into an excited squeal of delight. patreon.com/sgrpodcast Andrew Gurza is here this week talking all about sex and disability. We geek out over Orphan Black, talk about his hashtag #diSAYbled, dive into body politics and ableism, and explore his experiences with sex and masturbation. It's such a delightful conversation full of giggles and the kind of awkwardness and realness that I adore. We also talk about hook-up culture and how difficult it can be to communicate around needs and desires, especially for gay men. We explore what it means to be "too much" and also the institutional ableism around insisting that folks with disabilities need a cure. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.About Andrew GurzaAndrew Gurza is a Disability Awareness Consultant and Cripple Content Creator working to make the lived experience of queerness and disability accessible to all. His written work has been featured in Huffington Post, This Magazine, The Advocate, Everyday Feminism, Mashable, and Out.com. He is the host of DisabilityAfterDark: The Podcast to Shine a Bright Light on Sex and Disability available on iTunes. You can find out more about his work at www.andrewgurza.com or connect with him on Twitter @andrewgurza. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sun, 26 March 2017
If you missed the Explore More Summit, you can still grab all of the talks for as little as $1.20 each plus loads of bonus materials. This weekend I am in San Francisco attending Madison Young's Erotic Film School. I'm learning how to make porn. YAY! If you want to see some of the behind the scenes pictures and videos of Andre Shakti and James Darling, all Patreon supporters at $1 or more will have access. It was fun to be the director and to actually see ethical porn being made in this rich, collaborative space. I also field listener emails this week since I'm on the road. First, a listener wants to share his experience watching trans and pegging porn after Lauren from last week's episode shared her concerns around porn. Then, Mona wants help shopping for some kegel exercisers. What's best? Dawn shares a story of her ben wa balls gone wrong. Scarlett Grace has a friend that she used to play with sexually with her husband, but Scarlett's friend is now super promiscuous and Scarlett doesn't want to have sex with her friend anymore. How can she tell her friend she's worried about her safety and why she doesn't want to play anymore? Delilah wrote in because she's in her first lesbian relationship and she wants tricks for making her girlfriend happy. So, how do you learn lesbian sex? What tricks and tips do I have? Long-time listeners will already know my answer to this. At a minimum, be sure to check out Allison Moon's, "Girl Sex 101" book. Ben is young and in love, but he and his girlfriend don't have much in common and he wants to have loads more sexual experiences. What should he do? Finally, Leah wants to know - how do polyamorous folks avoid town gossips and people talking about their affairs? I have lots of thoughts because there are so many possible situations to navigate. Also, check out Franklin Veaux's "More Than Two" or Tristan Taormino's "Opening Up" for more information on living in a non-monogamous situation. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.About Dawn SerraSex is a social skill. I speak it. I write it. I teach it. I help you learn how to develop it. I am the creator and host of the laughter-filled, no-holds-barred weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real. I lecture at colleges and universities on sex and relationships, too. When I'm not speaking and teaching, I also work one-on-one with clients who need to get unstuck around their pleasure and desire. But it's not all work! In my downtime, I can often be found watching an episode of Masterchef Australia, cooking up something delicious, or adventuring with my sexy AF husband. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
Hearing from you is the bestContact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) |
Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra (health, sexuality)
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