Sun, 13 May 2018
Dreaming of quitting your day job to start your own business? Join the free virtual training, True Freedom Symposium: The When, What, Why, and How to Quit Your Day Job and What's Really On The Other Side, starting May 14th. It's free, online, and I'm a speaker alongside Modern Family's Ed O'Neill, Dinner and a Movie's Paul Gilmartin and the amazing Pam Slim of "Escape From Cubicle Nation." Sign up here. Your questions. Answered.Ana just started graduate school. She's working on becoming a sex educator, and needs a side hustle to make more money. She was thinking about a sex toy party business, but wants to find a company that is ethical and offers body safe products. Any recommendations? Anonymous wants his wife to have more sexual pleasure, but she doesn't masturbate, she doesn't like oral, and he bought her a vibrator that he wants her to use. How can he introduce it to her? To which I say, WHHOOOOAAA. You're putting the cart before the horse on this one. Here's where he should really start. Sam wrote in scared that his closeted gay relationship is about to end. In the beginning, he and his boyfriend had the most incredible NRE (new relationship energy). But things have been fizzling and his boyfriend is about to move 4 hours away. Is the relationship over? Sometimes people email me and I sit on their email until I feel resourced enough to reply. Joseph wrote in a few months ago with an email that made my blood boil, so I've waited until now to field it. His question? How can we possibly be sex positive when the differences between the genders are just SO HUGE? Anyone who listens to this show knows I've got some big feelings about gender, so here we go. Soapbox time. WiltingTulip has a heartbreaking email and needs support. Her partner spends hours a day downloading, categorizing, and watching porn. For seven years, there have been tears, fights, guilt, and shame. She feels like it's destroying their relationship and she doesn't know how to be more pro-porn when it feels so awful. Especially because the women he watches look nothing like her. Is there any hope? I'm actually quite proud of my answer for this one and I hope you'll give it a listen. I think the answer may surprise you and give you something yummy to think about. Patreon supporters - This week I'm reminiscing about masturbation in TV and movies. What was the first masturbation-related scene you remember? And did you know there's an entire college textbook just on masturbation in pop culture? Of course, I had to buy it. Let's talk solo sex, shall we? Supporters get access if they support at the $3 level and above. Tune in and support the show here: patreon.com/sgrpodcast THIS EPISODE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY LOLA. My LOLA, the subscription service for organic tampons and pads has just launched Sex by LOLA. You can subscribe to receive body safe non-toxic condoms, water-based aloe vera lube, and personal wipes (gynecologist approved!) sent directly to your door. I LOVE IT. Listeners get 40% off their first order at mylola.com with Promo Code SGR40 at checkout. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram.Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sun, 6 May 2018
Did you miss Explore More Summit 2018? Not to worry. All of the talks are available for you to bring home, plus some yummy bonuses! See your options and explore your more in life, love, and sex: exploremoresummit.com. It's time for more listener questions.You know I love talking with super smart awesome folks on the show, and I also adore fielding your questions. So that's what we're doing this week - your questions. Jon thinks he might be bisexual. What should he do? Pete wants to try pegging, but he is up in Alaska without any shops nearby. Where can he and his partner get everything they need for newbie pegging? Of course, I recommend the SpareParts Joque and also dildos by Tantus. Ronman7 wrote in because he is in love and feeling happy with the woman in his life. The problem is he has a secret fantasy and he doesn't know what it means. Should he act on it? How can he be monogamous AND also true to this fantasy he carries? Anonymous wrote in because she just can't feel attracted to her boyfriend, especially after seeing pictures of him when he had a more "traditionally attractive" body. Anonymous feels entitled to a partner whose body looks a certain way, so what can she do? I'll boil my advice down to one thing: leave him. He deserves better. Sassy Cassie is a 21 year old who struggles with body image and has never had sex. She things her body image issues are keeping her from diving into the sexual adventures she wants to experience, so how can she find more confidence in her body? And finally, Dismay is a 19 year old who finds herself being disgusted about sex. She feels guilty when she masturbates, and she isn't sure if she's asexual, demisexual, or something else. What's with the strong, intense reaction about sex? What can she do? Patreon supporters - A little rant about incels. Because we need to talk about the toxicity of feeling like others owe you access to their body and the violence that erupts from that entitlement. patreon.com/sgrpodcast THIS EPISODE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY HIMS. For a $5 first month trial, head to forhims.com/real. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.About Host Dawn Serra:What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real and the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sun, 29 April 2018
SIGN UP NOW! Explore More Summit 2018 is happening now. It ends May 2nd, so grab your all-access pass for free before it's too late. exploremoresummit.com. What is changing in the wake of the #MeToo movement? How do we talk about sex and power?Amy Jo Goddard is joining me this week to talk about BIG things. Amy Jo is a powerhouse of change, fierce and uncompromising in her commitment to sexual liberation and social change. I've been working with her on her Sex, Power, and Leadership Conference - which is a free online conference all about liberation, social change, pleasure, and the world in a post #MeToo movement. It. Is. So. Fucking. Good. So, this episode is us geeking out about sexual liberation, tolerating touch in relationships, the importance of pleasure activism if we want to experience real change, the Bill Cosby verdict, what transformative and patient-centered gynecology can look like, and holy shit - so much more. If you want to sign-up for the conference, it's all happening April 30th - May 7th. It features Jaclyn Friedman, Carol Queen, Betty Martin, Dr. Willie Parker, adrienne maree brown, Dr. Chris Donaghue from LoveLine, Andre Shakti, Tina Horn, Dalychia Saah from Afrosexology, and many more. This is actually orgasmic for me - these conversations are speaking my love language. I hope you're join us. Patreon supporters - If you support the show at the $3 level and above, you can listen to this week's bonus which is me chatting with Sinclair Sexsmith all about strap-on sex. SO MUCH STRAP-ON STUFF. You do not want to miss it. patreon.com/sgrpodcast Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.About Amy Jo Goddard:Hailing from Military Dad and Recovering-Catholic-Proudly-Sandra-Dee-Mom, Amy Jo Goddard had no other choice but to become a sex educator just to sail the shaky waters of human experience and help her family survive. Actually they don’t really take sex advice from her. But thousands of others have—Amy Jo is author of Woman on Fire: Nine Elements to Wake up Your Erotic Energy, Personal Power and Sexual Intelligence and co-author of the best-selling classic Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men, recently published in second edition. She earned her Master’s degree in Human Sexuality Education at New York University and has been teaching and speaking about feminism and sexuality for over two decades. She facilitates sexual empowerment programs for women, queer folks and couples, and works with companies to create workplace cultures that honor consent, equality, stellar communication and collaborative leadership. Join the conversation and sign-up for the Sex, Power, and Leadership Conference - it is free and online, happening April 30 - May 7, 2018. See you there. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sun, 22 April 2018
SIGN UP NOW! Explore More Summit 2018 starts in just a few hours and runs for the next 10 days. It's free and online. Grab your ticket now at exploremoresummit.com. What if we could not only write ourselves whole after trauma, but write our way into the erotic and desire?This week, Jen Cross, author of "Writing Ourselves Whole: Using the Power of Your Own Creativity to Recover and Heal from Sexual Trauma," is here to talk about healing and the power of the page. Let's start with the giveaway! Jen generously provided me with a signed copy of her book to offer as part of a giveaway to SGR listeners. If you'd like to put your name in the running, there's a handy-dandy entry form here. Jen and I talk about trauma and the ways it can impact us, plus the power of writing and storytelling to move beyond our trauma. There is something extremely meaningful in sitting in a group of people who understand the ways we move through the world and having that witnessed and held. We also talked about the importance of the people around survivors (partners, family, friends) in getting their own support and holding space for the pain that comes with trauma. Despite the heaviness of the topic, the conversation is surprisingly light and I had such a great time connecting with Jen. We also field a listener question from Fearful about dissociating during sex and why we have such high expectations for ourselves around staying present - with and without trauma. Patreon supporters - Jen and I talk about writing the erotic and how to get started with it. Pop over to Patreon and if you support the show at $3 and above, you can tune into all the bonus content from each week. patreon.com/sgrpodcast Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.About Jen Cross:Jen Cross is a widely-published author and the founder of Writing Ourselves Whole, an organization that offers Amherst Writers & Artists writing workshops, creating spaces in which the true and complicated stories of the body can emerge. Jen has worked with hundreds of writers, through private workshops and in collaboration with colleges, social change organizations and other institutions throughout the U.S. For more information, visit www.writingourselveswhole.org. You can stay in touch with Jen on LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter @VozSutra. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sun, 15 April 2018
Eager to sign-up for this year’s Explore More Summit? It kicks off April 23rd, 2018 and you can enroll for free at exploremoresummit.com. It's your questions this week, folks, and there are so many amazing ones to get to. KiltmanFL wrote in about AC's question in episode 203 wanting kink classes in Florida. Kiltman has some great resources for all you Florida listeners. Bee wrote in with a long thank you note, but basically Bee was inspired to have some really scary conversations with her partner and now some much-needed changes are happening in her relationship. Yay for courageous conversations. A listener wrote in with a subject line of Virgin. You know I love these. This listener doesn't want to have sex until marriage but her girlfriend wants to have sex before marriage to make sure it's a good fit. How can she talk about sex when she's had zero experience? Among other suggestions, I also recommend Allison Moon's, "Girl Sex 101", Barbara Carrellas' "Ecstasy is Necessary" and "Urban Tantra." Jon & Mandi just discovered the joys of anal fisting, but is there a such thing as stylish, above the elbow, silicone safe gloves? They need something practical and pretty. I asked a bunch of experts and offer some input. Unihorn is having lots of sex via dating apps. Unihorn has never been in a relationship and is worried that all the sex means they aren't developing the skills needed for a healthy relationship later. Should they be worried? I have thoughts about sex, relationships, and what Unihorn should do. Betrayed wrote in with a very vulnerable share about an abusive ex-husband, vulvodynia, sexual pain, and dissociating during pleasure. Betrayed asks: How can people still explore sexual things without having the goal be orgasm? How do you know when to stop if you're not using climax as the finish line? How can I find different ways to enjoy sex in general? I have so many thoughts and I really hope you savor this because it's helpful for so many of us. Patreon supporters - this week's bonus is a really juicy clip from my talk with therapist Shadeen Francis for the Explore More Summit. It's all about honesty versus transparency, especially after betrayal. Her analogies are spot on and she gave me language for feelings I'd held for so long and didn't know how to articulate. GOOD GOOD stuff. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.About Dawn SerraWhat if everything you've been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, and of the new weekly stream Pop Culture Undressed, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It's not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sun, 8 April 2018
Eager to sign-up for this year's Explore More Summit? It kicks off April 23rd, 2018 and you can enroll for free at exploremoresummit.com. What is intersectional sex ed? What does sexual liberation look like?This week, I'm joined by Roan Coughtry, a super rad sex educator who believes in having big conversations about how our pleasure and our bodies are impacted by the larger systems of our culture. We talk about Roan's beautiful personal statement for Trans Day of Visibility and how Roan started finding language for their gender and identity. We also explore what it means to be masculine and femme. Then, we roll around in intersectional sex education and what it brings to the table beyond comprehensive sex ed. Because we all know whatever's being taught now isn't working. And, sexual liberation - what does that mean to Roan? What can we imagine beyond where we are? Would consent even be a conversation we needed to have if we were all free? We also geek out about queer trans love stories and the ways queer trans folks have been portrayed in movies. We need more diversity! More stories! More trans actors! And Patreon supporters - Roan and I talk about cis men who get off on trans woman porn and what the politics of our fantasies can mean. Pop over to Patreon and if you support the show at $3 and above, you can tune into all the bonus content from each week. patreon.com/sgrpodcast Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.About Roan Coughtry:Roan Coughtry, MSW, is a writer, facilitator and healing artist based out of Atlanta, GA. With a background in social work, integrative energy work and social justice organizing, they’re passionate about kindling the connection between healing, embodied practice and liberation. For 7 years they’ve served as a gender and sexuality consultant for the UN, where they write and research on violence prevention. They’re a lead producer of Sex Down South, a sexuality conference in Atlanta spearheaded by and centering folks of color and queer folks, and they’ve helped organize conferences such as Facing Race and Money for our Movements. They’re a co-founder of the national Sexual Liberation Collective, and they provide weekly livestreams on comprehensive sex education for the innovative platform O.School. They facilitate conversations around the country on gender, race, sexuality, spirituality and violence prevention, and they also provide coaching and healing sessions for clients. You can find out more about their work at www.roancoughtry.com. Plus, you can stay in touch on Facebook and Instagram. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
Hearing from you is the bestContact form: Click here (and it's anonymous) |
Sun, 1 April 2018
Are you joining us for the 3rd annual Explore More Summit? It kicks off April 23, 2018 and it's free and online. Grab your spot now at exploremoresummit.com. We did it. We did a live recording of the show with about a dozen of you joining in the fun. So, this is your chance to not only hear me fielding questions live, on the spot, but you'll also hear other people's thoughts and perspectives, too. I had a blast and I hope we do it again soon. So what did we chat about? DL has found that pleasure, sex, and embodiment aren't really talked about in the context of sobriety. How do they regain sensation? Why isn't anyone talking about this? On the call, I offered a few resources for DL, but afterwards, I reached out to my networks and asked for more. Head to sexgetsreal.com/ep207 for the full list of recommendations. Emily has trouble with her body and specifically her belly. How can she heal that relationship because it's impacting how she experiences sex with her boyfriend. Another participant asked how we can grapple with the fact that as our definition of sex expands, so much our definition for sexual assault. How do we reconcile these things and hold space for them? One listener needs help with communication. She is constantly walking on eggshells with her partner to avoid another fight or blow-up. How can they get better at communicating about the tough stuff? And finally, someone wrote in asking about having a fantasy about teaching a bunch of male virgins how to be expert lovers. They think it's a fetish, and they're worried it's a problematic one. We roll around in this and it's pure delight. Patreon supporters - this week's bonus is a world exclusive. It's an extended sneak peek of my Explore More Summit chat with therapist Quinn Gee. The clip talks about being a better parent and then the ways that Quinn has fun, which includes the funniest story of this year's conference. It's about a strap-on. Trust me - you want to hear it. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.About Dawn SerraWhat if everything you've been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives. In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, and of the new weekly stream Pop Culture Undressed, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence. It's not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia. |
Sun, 25 March 2018
Eager to sign-up for this year's Explore More Summit? It kicks off April 23rd, 2018 and you can enroll for free at exploremoresummit.com. Are you a witch, a slut, or a feminist?Then this episode is for you because Slutist founder Kristen J. Sollée is here to chat with me, Dawn Serra, about her new book by ThreeL Media, "Witches, Sluts, Feminists: Conjuring the Sex Positive." I'm not sure how much I've talked about it on the show, but I spent several years in my early twenties in a very close-knit witches coven. We met weekly, we did rituals for self-growth and world peace, and it was one of the most profound times of healing in my life. So, this book delighted the witch-of-old in me and the sex geek of now. I mean, you have to hear what "flying on a broomstick" really meant. It involves dildos. When we think about people who have been cast as witches or sluts throughout the ages, like midwives and sex workers, we see people who had power and knowledge that often men didn’t have. Kristen and I have so many thoughts about this. It's not a coincidence that the vast majority of the hundreds of thousands of people killed over the years for witchcraft were women, usually over 40. There is this deep fear of the feminine run wild. There is this deep fear that if women and feminine folks were in control than everything in the world would be destroyed. Hear Kristen and I geek out about that. I also ask Kristen about cis men who are "reclaiming" the word slut in solidarity with women. Her response is hysterical and perfect. We also talk about the power of ritual in our everyday lives as well as for sex and intention. There is SO much good stuff in this episode. And Patreon supporters - Kristen and I talk about money as power, money as energy, and why sex workers are so threatening to the current systems of power. Pop over to Patreon and if you support the show at $3 and above, you can tune into all the bonus content from each week. patreon.com/sgrpodcast Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.About Kristen J. Sollée:Kristen J. Sollée is a lecturer at The New School and the founding editrix of Slutist, a sex positive site that delves into the intersections between sex, feminism, and the occult. Sollée’s signature college course, "The Legacy of the Witch" follows the witch across history, pop culture, and politics, from the Venus of Willendorf to The Love Witch. Her critically-acclaimed book, Witches, Sluts, Feminists: Conjuring the Sex Positive, was published by Stone Bridge Press in 2017. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sun, 18 March 2018
LAST CHANCE to grab your seat for the online, live taping of Sex Gets Real to celebrate our 200th episode. Enter to join us here. It happens on March 22nd at 5pm Pacific, so this is your last chance. This week Dawn Serra is chatting with author Juniper Fitzgerald and artist Elise Peterson who created the book, "How Mamas Love Their Babies" - published by Feminist Press. The book is the first children's book to feature a sex worker and it's brilliant. So, Juniper, Elise, and Dawn talk about sex working mothers, the realities of being a new mom, why this book is so important, and what they learned along the way. Sex work should not be stigmatized and you are not a better feminist for not consuming sex work. Let's talk about why. Want to hear the funny bonus chat about Juniper and Elise's favorite memories from sex work? Well, pop over to Patreon and if you support the show at $3 and above, you can tune into all the bonus content from each week. patreon.com/sgrpodcast This episode is brought to you by HIMS. HIMS is an online men's wellness service that allows you to consult with a doctor and get treatment for hair loss, skincare, and sexual wellness all within minutes at a fraction of the cost. And, listeners get a special rate of $5 for your first month if you head to forhims.com/real. Check it out now! Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.About Juniper Fitzgerald:Juniper is a mother, writer, academic, and former sex worker. Her work appears in Tits and Sass, Mutha Magazine, Pacific Standard, SeaFoam Magazine and others. She has a forthcoming essay in the anthology, The Red Umbrella Babies, is the author of the first children’s book to talk about sex work, How Mamas Love Their Babies, out by the Feminist Press, and is currently compiling a work of auto-theory on motherhood, sex work, and feminism. About Elise Peterson:Elise R. Peterson is a writer, visual artist and on camera personality living and working in New York. Writing clips have appeared in Adult, PAPER MAGAZINE, ELLE, LENNY LETTER, and NERVE among others. Her written work doubles as storytelling and investigating the nuance of identity and sexuality as it relates to marginalized communities. Her multidisciplinary visual work is informed by the past, reimagined in the framework of the evolving notions of technology, intimacy and cross-generational narratives. Socially, it is her aim to continue to use art as a platform for social justice while making art accessible for all through exhibitions of public work and beyond. |
Sun, 11 March 2018
Joanna Angel is joining the show this week and she's excited to talk about her new book, "Night Shift: A Choose Your Own Erotic Fantasy." We discuss how she came up with the story, the nostalgia of times past, feeling awkward and sexually inexperienced, and how some of Joanna's favorite memories of sex shop tours inspired so much of the book. You'll also want to check out the bonus reading on Patreon from Joanna's new book. Patreon supporters at the $3 level and above get access, so head over and listen now. patreon.com/sgrpodcast Joanna and I also talk about porn and what people get wrong about the industry, how she stays creative making 24 movies a year, how porn (and all of entertainment) is changing, and what's next for her literary adventures. I'm also doing a super soft launch of the 2018 Explore More Summit, so if you want to grab a spot head to exploremoresummit.com. Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.About Joanna Angel:Joanna Angel is an award-winning adult film star, director, producer, author, entrepreneur and CEO of the venerated adult studio, BurningAngel Entertainment. Pacific Standard magazine stated she is, "One of the most powerful feminist icons in the adult industry." She's stormed mainstream media outlets being featured in the New York Times, Forbes Magazine, Vice TV, LA Weekly, and CNBC just to name a few. She was inducted into AVN's hall of fame in 2016 and continues to make her mark on the adult industry and the world at large. Stay in touch with JoAnna on Twitter @JoAnnaAngel. Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real
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Sex Gets Real with Dawn Serra (health, sexuality)
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