Sex Gets Real 239: Virginity, exploring non-binary gender, & being a cis man

Pleasure can be complicated, hunger can feel like a betrayal, but our bodies were built for pleasure and it's time for you to reconnect with what it means to feel good, to prioritize what brings you delight and joy, and to unpack the old stories that keep you stuck in shame and guilt. My new online course, Power in Pleasure: Reconnecting with Your Hunger, Desire, and Joy, will start enrolling soon, so join the notification list now and get first dibs on the course.

It's you, me, and your emails.We're tackling gender, virginity, & being a man.

First up, I came across this super helpful article in The Advocate titled "15 Signs You're a Gay Misogynist". Misogyny in gay men's spaces is rampant, so if you're a gay dude, you might want to check out this list and start having some conversations with your friends.

Becky wrote in with a really sweet and supportive note about the show. THANK YOU, BECKY!!!

Mary is 39-years-old and questioning their gender. How can Mary find some resources for learning about what it means to be non-binary and how to unpack it all?

To start, I recommend Mary check out Sage Hayes, Jacob Tobia, Them magazine, ALOK, Sarah Thompson, this great interview between ALOK and Mia Mingus, and this activist list of trans and non-binary folks.

Oh, and register for Explore More 2019 now!!!

Anonymous wrote to me on Instagram wanting to know if it's normal to be a 23-year-old virgin and how to get a guy to like them and have sex with them. Help!

Let's unpack virginity, desirability, and focusing our lives on what brings us to life (rather than "hooking" a partner).

Find what lights you up and brings your life the most joy. Let that be a beacon to potential friends and partners. Hire a professional. Work with a coach (who isn't all about reinforcing shitty gender norms and playing games to 'hook' someone).

Polymedic is a cis man. He is struggling with how much men suck. Both of his partners have been sexually assaulted, and both of his daughters. How can he raise his sons to be different? How can he even be in the world when he feels ashamed of even being a man and being part of the problem?

Men Can Stop Rape is a group that might be worth looking into. Also, "The Mask You Live In" documentary is a great one. Cory Silverberg's "Sex is a Funny Word" is a book I cannot recommend highly enough.

Head to patreon.com/sgrpodcast where you can support for as little as $1. Folks who support at $3 get access to the weekly bonus content and if you pledge $5, you get to help me answer listener questions. This week's bonus is a response to a listener question I got about having her ass eaten out and sharing her fantasies with a partner she worries will judge her. Check it out.

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook and Dawn is on Instagram.

About Host Dawn Serra:

What if everything you’ve been taught about relationships, about your body, about sex is wrong? My name is Dawn Serra and I dare to ask scary questions that might lead us all towards a deeper, more connected experience of our lives.

In addition to being the host of the weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real, the creator of the online conference Explore More, I also work one-on-one with clients who are feeling stuck, confused, or disappointed with the ways they experience desire, love, and confidence.

It’s not all work, though. In my spare time, you can find me adventuring with my husband, cuddling my cats as I read a YA novel, or obsessing over MasterChef Australia.

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