Sex Gets Real 182: Masochism, virginity, low self-esteem, & permission slips

Hello, from New Orleans! Hurricane Nate meant I was stuck in Louisiana for an extra day, but it also meant more time at SisterSong's "Let's Talk About Sex" conference.

I share a little about what that conference brought up for me and then...it's your questions and my answers.

You can see some of the videos from the conference at the show's Patreon page: patreon.com/sgrpodcast

You can also see all of the permissions slips folks wrote in my workshop on Twitter if you look at my feed under #LTAS17.

Horny Virgin needs help with navigating safer sex conversations when you're engaging in casual sex. How can HV have sex and feel safe? How do you talk about testing and barriers? And, how do you even have sex? 

Ali wants to know if she kink-shamed a woman she hooked up with after this woman asked to be seriously injured during their sex without any kind of warning or conversation ahead of time. Masochism and consent are important. Not letting someone know you want them to break bones or skin before getting intimate is NOT consensual.

Ash is a 29-year-old virgin who suffers from self-esteem issues because they're overweight and feel like a freak. What can they do to find some confidence, to find partners, especially when people ask them to lose weight? Is there any hope?

I have so so much to say about this one. All the feels.

Follow Sex Gets Real on Twitter and Facebook. It's true. Oh! And Dawn is on Instagram.

Resources mentioned in this episode

Fat activists like Jes Baker, Melissa Toler, Bevin Branlandingham, The Body is Not An Apology

Instagram accounts to check out include: FatWomenOfColor, FatGirlFlow, ThickLeeyonce, BlessMayFatHeart, QueerFatFemme

Explore More Summit has several talks on confidence, bodies, fatness.

About Dawn Serra

I am the creator and host of the laughter-filled, no-holds-barred weekly podcast, Sex Gets Real. I lecture at colleges and universities on sex and relationships, too.

When I’m not speaking and teaching, I also work one-on-one with clients who need to get unstuck around their pleasure and desire.

But it’s not all work! In my downtime, I can often be found watching an episode of Masterchef Australia, cooking up something delicious, or adventuring with my sexy AF husband.

Listen and subscribe to Sex Gets Real

1. Listen and subscribe on iTunes
2. Check us out on Stitcher
3. Don't forget about I Heart Radio's Spreaker
4. Pop over to Google Play
5. Use the player at the top of this page.
6. Now available on Spotify. Search for "sex gets real".
7. Find the Sex Gets Real channel on IHeartRadio.

Hearing from you is the best

Contact form: Click here (and it's anonymous)